Am I selfish?

[MarkA16]

I think I am, but I think for a good reason.

Is it bad, to be so sure about life, with Love as my foundation, to urge people to tell me their problems, because no one else is there to do so?

I have a bestfriend, and she has been opening up to me, and I am opening up to her. We both concluded that having each other in our lives is a sign from God that He loves us.

Yesterday I “accidentally” brought up a subject I wanted to know more about so that I can give her advice. It was my call, not hers. And she did not want to tell me everything and I sounded mad because she was keeping stuff from me.

The reason why I tell people to be open with me is because it helps when it comes to helping people. I’ve helped people in the past and it was by telling me everything. I turn to God when I’m trying to help someone.

Is it wrong to be there for people, being trustworthy, but seem selfish because you know that you are just one of the many that want to be God’s Light to others?

I feel especially selfish when I tell people to look past who I really am, and imagine Jesus. I’m very open-minded and hearted. I really want to be like Jesus, but it’s a daily struggle. I know that no one is perfect, I know that there is only One God, and no one can be like Him. I just wish that my love that people will feel would not be mine, but God’s.

I’m confused…

 

[MarkA16]

I talked with another bestfriend and asked for help.

I’ve learned that people need to solve things on their own. When they need help they will ask for it.

I find happiness in other people’s happiness. Is that selfish? She also said that I have to deal with my problems to be able to deal with others.

Well I’ve gone with so much in life which is why I wanted to help people in the first place, because I’ve overcome those and I wanted to help others in the same situation. This problem is something I will overcome sooner or later. With God’s help, with Love and time, I know it is possible. But regardless of what is going on in my life, I’d rather help someone else because you’ll never know what is going to happen to them, they could die that moment, later, or tomorrow. I just don’t want people to think that no one is there for them and that they are alone in the world…

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I know I’ve been typing a lot, but this is something I need to overcome.

 

[Danuska]

Well, you can also help by just being there for your friends, if you insist that they tell you everything, is it not just because that you want to know? Isn’t it all too much around your own ego?

Psychologists will say that we like helping others because it helps us feel better about ourselves. We want to be good. And there is a gratification in helping others too - that is why be careful if by insisting on helping others you are just not seeking your own good and your own gratification. As someone said, - if we realized all our true motives behind our best actions, we would be ashamed of our best deeds.

And as for your friend, maybe she will ‘open up’, but in her own time, when she is ready. And if she does not, respect that too.

 

[forgiveall]

Mark,

You have to be careful about pushing people to open up to you. It can actually push them away from you. People in time when ready will eventually talk to you. You have to give them time, their time not yours. Remember timing is Gods perfection. Just let them know that you are there when they are ready. When they do eventually open up, show them love, compassion, understanding, empathy, and sympathy. Try not to overly criticize them. Even constructive criticism can hurt a persons emotions, especially when going through a crisis situation.

You should study Social Work. That would be a good field for you. You seem like a persistent person. Don’t take “no” for an answer. Go getter. We need people like that in the Social Worker field.

God Bless You Child of God, and all that you do in the name of Jesus!

 

[forgiveall]

Here is a prayer from Mother Teresa:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
Lord, may I not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
Because it is in giving that we receive,
in pardoning that we are pardoned. Amen.

God Bless You,

 

[MarkA16]

Thanks.

I actually want to be a teacher or school counselor AND a football coach. I like working with kids and stuff.

But one of the things I fought with myself was when my best friend and I were arguing online, and she was saying things that were very false about me. I was going to curse at her, but I decided not to, and I was always the one to come up with an answer, this time I didn’t answer and I let her speak her mind, accepting them as words from God who’s trying to help me in life. It took a good chunk of me to do it.

When you said that I “cried for no reason” I felt really bad, because that was the first time I actually cried in awhile. Maybe I’m repeating myself, but here is how I felt that day.

When you got out, you was smiling when I saw you. I felt like, “okay, here is a girl who thought about suicide, and she is smiling as if nothing happened”. I was crying because I thought that the real Monica was hiding somewhere, hiding from her problems and feelings. I was scared that you were actually going to commit suicide and I would never see you again. I cried because I loved Monica.

I guess now, I cried because I was confused. Confused because I didn’t even know who Monica is, and that I thought Monica was another person, when the girl I was looking at that day WAS Monica, a girl who found the strength in her to smile again because there was a reason to. God.

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I told her that. I changed the name to Monica. Anyways, I say, “I love you” to anyone, even my guy friends. So she is not my girlfriend, just to clear that up. :] and yes I’m straight.

Anyways, thanks again.

 

[forgiveall]

There is nothing wrong in telling the people that you love, “I Love You” even if it’s a guy or a girl. Jesus is Love, by saying I love you, you are letting Jesus shine through you.

Remember, be a good listener.

You are in the right path child. Go in peace!!