Am I sinning?

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Nelka

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If I have sexual thoughts (which I do) or violent thoughts (which is rare) even though I don’t act on themam I sinning?

I never mix the two I have stated, the latter normally lasts about 3-5 seconds but the first can last longer.

I am married if this makes a difference.

Thanks.
 
The will is the key. If a thought floats across your mind unbidden, and you immediately try to redirect your thoughts elsewhere, you’re fine. If you willfully entertain the thoughts, they can become sinful. Even mortally sinful, so it is a good idea to try to fortify your will.
 
NaturalEnquirer said:
The will is the key. If a thought floats across your mind unbidden, and you immediately try to redirect your thoughts elsewhere, you’re fine. If you willfully entertain the thoughts, they can become sinful. Even mortally sinful, so it is a good idea to try to fortify your will.
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At what point would something existing only in your mind ever become a mortal sin?
 
GEddie said:
At what point would something existing only in your mind ever become a mortal sin?
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I see your point, GEddie, and I was about to agree with you that mental sins can never constitute grave matter, but then the words of Jesus occurred to me: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt 5:28)

So, it’s possible. I don’t know where to draw the line.

EDIT: To the OP, NaturalEnquirer’s answer is simple but correct.
 
No, you are not sinning if you reject those thoughts. However if you choose to entertain them, then it is a sin.
 
Wowbagger said:
I see your point, GEddie, and I was about to agree with you that mental sins can never constitute grave matter, but then the words of Jesus occurred to me: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt 5:28)

So, it’s possible. I don’t know where to draw the line.

EDIT: To the OP, NaturalEnquirer’s answer is simple but correct.
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That is the rub; and I will take this up with a priest. Not that this is a particular issue for me, but it is a mystery of human life: how there can be “grave matter” with no matter at all (just flickers in one’s head):confused:

ICXC NIKA
 
GEddie said:
That is the rub; and I will take this up with a priest. Not that this is a particular issue for me, but it is a mystery of human life: how there can be “grave matter” with no matter at all (just flickers in one’s head):confused:

ICXC NIKA
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Well, I explicitly said that flickers aren’t sinful at all.

Suppose one was to tell God, in his thoughts, that he rejects God and chooses evil. That seems pretty mortal, right?
 
Depends on if you consent to them…either partially or fully… etc

yes we can sin just in our thoughts (without any action…)…
Regarding thoughts

while Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought happens does not mean that one sinned…

(and one can have a sufficiently good reason to think about sexual matters…for instance studying moral theology…but care must be taken to avoid things that would be a problem…but that is another question)

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them etc…

(there are of course some things we should avoid that cause them…and there can be sin if it is something one should reasonably avoid…but often they come uninvited)

First…Relax. Do not worry.

Now are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it —but rejected it and maybe even turned to God : again a sign not full consent.

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin? : it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented! so worry not…even it they go on for a long time…

remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person seeks to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them. (but do not worry about this either!)

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of? Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing. Simply do not consent and move on. and do not worry

another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. and just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

they can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …
 
GEddie said:
At what point would something existing only in your mind ever become a mortal sin?
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I think that the answer is “when it ceases to be only in your mind”. For example, if you conjure up violent thoughts just for the adrenaline rush. Consider that to conjure up anger, you have to have anger, which means you haven’t forgiven.
 
Spirithound said:
I think that the answer is “when it ceases to be only in your mind”. For example, if you conjure up violent thoughts just for the adrenaline rush. Consider that to conjure up anger, you have to have anger, which means you haven’t forgiven.
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To (knowingly in some way) – “consent” to thoughts such as impure thoughts or thoughts of revenge etc…is yes a sin…even if they are “only in your mind”

Thoughts can be of course mortal sins …

if one has grave matter (say lustful thoughts)…and full knowledge and complete consent…
 
Nelka said:
…I am married if this makes a difference…
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Seems to me that thoughts about your spouse are fine… how can it be wrong to think about doing something that’s good and holy to do?
 
No sin at all … unless it destroys or seriously damages your relationships with others: like your spouse, your acquaintances, or God.
 
Most, if not all, of us have thoughts pop into our minds which would be sinful if we dwell on them or fantasize about them. As long as you don’t go deliberately seeking such thoughts or choose to fantasize about such things, you have not sinned. You’re human, like the rest of us. And it is a good thing if you have nice sexual thoughts about your wife, as long as you don’t go overboard or let this distract you from other things in life, prayer, etc. God bless.
 
In my experience as I grew close to God I gave up masturbation (thanks to God’s grace) and then later gave up entertaining lustful thoughts. (again thans to God’s grace)

The next battle for me (one that is on-going) is to spend unnecessary time ruminating/obsessing about whether consent has taken place when these unbidden thoughts/feelings occur.

I beleive this is a way the devil robs me of peace trying to make me think I have sinned when I haven’t or confusing my mind and all the while that I am in a state of desperate anxiety I could be performing acts of Charity…or just getting on with the matter in hand.

If one feels one has consented to a sinful thought. Pick up your Cross and move on the Lord is Mercy. If you are in doubt you probably haven’t
 
quasimodo said:
No sin at all … unless it destroys or seriously damages your relationships with others: like your spouse, your acquaintances, or God.
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…thoughts can very much be sins…it is not dependent on effecting relationships…(and such does effect them anyhow…via adultery…sin etc)

As Jesus tells us in the Gospel of Matthew…etc

But it is true that many times “thoughts just come” which are not sins for one does not consent…as I noted above in another post…
 
If you hold sinful thoughts in your mind to the point where you take pleasure in them, it is sinful, but venial.

If you continue to imagine something sinful to the point where you fully want it to happen, then it can be a mortal sin, but this must always be precluded by a deliberate decision to indulge wholeheartedly in the fantasy (e.g. you realize “this is mortally sinful” but then decide “I’m going to totally fantasize about it anyway.”)
 
neophyte said:
Seems to me that thoughts about your spouse are fine… how can it be wrong to think about doing something that’s good and holy to do?
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Well the difference lies in that you aren’t just thinking about loving your spouse, but fantasizing about an act by yourself which is meant to be physically expressed with her/him, and then you are using their image in your mind for self-gratification. So really, it ceases to be about your spouse at all, and becomes solely about you (i.e. your self-created version of your spouse, rather than the real person). It’s a kind of mental masturbation using imaginary pornography. The marital act cannot take place in your mind and therefore what you are thinking about doesn’t have any real relation to the act itself.
 
Neithan said:
Well the difference lies in that you aren’t just thinking about loving your spouse, but fantasizing about an act by yourself which is meant to be physically expressed with her/him, and then you are using their image in your mind for self-gratification. So really, it ceases to be about your spouse at all, and becomes solely about you (i.e. your self-created version of your spouse, rather than the real person). It’s a kind of mental masturbation using imaginary pornography. The marital act cannot take place in your mind and therefore what you are thinking about doesn’t have any real relation to the act itself.
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It’s not clear to me that that’s necessarily what was being asked about, nor is it clear to me that thinking about relations with your spouse necessarily involves it.
 
neophyte said:
It’s not clear to me that that’s necessarily what was being asked about, nor is it clear to me that thinking about relations with your spouse necessarily involves it.
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Interesting. Could you clarify?
 
Neithan said:
Interesting. Could you clarify?
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The question was “is it a sin to have sexual thoughts”, and you responded with a description of disordered sexual thoughts. But not all sexual thoughts are disordered.
 
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