A
alwayscomehome
Guest
To be honest I used to be a regular poster on these boards but I haven’t been around in a long time. I created another account because I forgot the password to my old one and I am ashamed of what I’m about to ask.
Both of my children have fallen away from the faith. That breaks my heart and I pray every day for them to come back to the church. But my son in particular is leading a secular life. He has been living with his girlfriend for over a year. At first I was taken aback and stunned that he would do that, but as time went on and I saw how happy they were my shock almost turned to happiness. I see that he’s loved and cared for, and see that they would do anything for each other, and I’m happy that after years of searching he has finally found the kind of person that he’s always deserved. She’s a lovely woman who is good to him and our family. I know that it is sinful and that I should be condemning it, and I did at first. But seeing how well this is working for them makes it hard to do so now. And even worse I think that I would be upset if they did move away from each other. I am so ashamed that this is what’s testing my loyalty to my faith. I know that what they are doing is wrong and that I shouldn’t find joy in it, but it doesn’t feel that way. I am so stressed out and guilt-ridden over my reaction to this.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that when I saw them in October they told me that they were planning on getting married and would be announcing their engagement over Christmas. He didn’t propose, this was a mutual decision that they are both happy about, and of course I am too. What she doesn’t know though is that later my son confided in me that although she said that she doesn’t need a ring or a proposal he felt that she deserved one. So on their way home from Thanksgiving they are going to stop at her favorite restaurant and he’s going to give her a ring and formally ask her. I am so proud of the sweet, generous, romantic man that he has become.
I talked to my priest about my guilt and he said that as long as I was finding happiness in his happiness, not in his sin, I was ok. But it still feels wrong to me and I don’t really know where to go from here. Is it even worth finding the will to say something more about their situation since they are getting married? I feel like I’m torn between God and my son, and although I know that God should win, my feelings for my son and his future are getting in the way.
Any advice?
Both of my children have fallen away from the faith. That breaks my heart and I pray every day for them to come back to the church. But my son in particular is leading a secular life. He has been living with his girlfriend for over a year. At first I was taken aback and stunned that he would do that, but as time went on and I saw how happy they were my shock almost turned to happiness. I see that he’s loved and cared for, and see that they would do anything for each other, and I’m happy that after years of searching he has finally found the kind of person that he’s always deserved. She’s a lovely woman who is good to him and our family. I know that it is sinful and that I should be condemning it, and I did at first. But seeing how well this is working for them makes it hard to do so now. And even worse I think that I would be upset if they did move away from each other. I am so ashamed that this is what’s testing my loyalty to my faith. I know that what they are doing is wrong and that I shouldn’t find joy in it, but it doesn’t feel that way. I am so stressed out and guilt-ridden over my reaction to this.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that when I saw them in October they told me that they were planning on getting married and would be announcing their engagement over Christmas. He didn’t propose, this was a mutual decision that they are both happy about, and of course I am too. What she doesn’t know though is that later my son confided in me that although she said that she doesn’t need a ring or a proposal he felt that she deserved one. So on their way home from Thanksgiving they are going to stop at her favorite restaurant and he’s going to give her a ring and formally ask her. I am so proud of the sweet, generous, romantic man that he has become.
I talked to my priest about my guilt and he said that as long as I was finding happiness in his happiness, not in his sin, I was ok. But it still feels wrong to me and I don’t really know where to go from here. Is it even worth finding the will to say something more about their situation since they are getting married? I feel like I’m torn between God and my son, and although I know that God should win, my feelings for my son and his future are getting in the way.
Any advice?
