Am I still a Good Catholic?

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PelagiathePenit

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I feel like all I ever hear of improving as a Catholic, eliminating sin, having fear or respect for God. Where is the joy in Christianity? I never feel happy or content. I do not even feel like I have free-will. If I do not follow God’s orders, I will sin inevitably. There is never an excuse for sin, yet unfortunately I AM HUMAN, I will sin again tomorrow or maybe even today. I am very tempted to leave the church altogether. All I feel is guilt, layers of guilt. I do not understand how God can make us human and expects to live up to Godly standards. I am NOT Jesus. If I have all this guilt during my mid-twenties, how will I ever make it becoming working individual. I will make mistakes at work, I SHOULD NOT. I will make mistakes in my relationships. I will make mistakes as a parent. What should I do? Just give up. :mad: I feel obligated TO DO THE RIGHT. I do not think I should. I think I should love serving God, not do it out of reluctance because if I DO NOT DO IT, I will be punished, burn in eternity. I have a CONTROLLING FATHER, I guess that is exactly how I imagine God. My way or the highway? Following God seems like another way to be controlled. When will I have my OWN LIFE. During my twenties, my parents STILL tell me what to do, and I OBEY. God TELLS me what to do. My friends give me advice, I CAN NOT GET MAD because I ASK. I am too scared to make my own decisions. The priest give me advice. IF I get married, I must follow what my husband says. At what point is my life, MY OWN? While I do not think it is good for teenagers to be rebellious, IT IS POINT FOR PEOPLE TO FIND THEMSELVES. If you always follow what your parents tell you, what happens when your parents die? You have to figure things out for yourself. At some point, I SHOULD KNOW what it is good or bad for me. Rebellious teenagers are TRYING TO GROW UP. Blindly following orders and rules just does not work for me. Or doing things because I AM SCARED. I do not like that, I WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT. W
 
I would read St John Paul II’s, Crossing the Threshold of Hope to gain comfort and understand Christianity as being primarily a religion of attraction.

The knowledge and fear of sin is necessary for a faith that is attractive by nature, because once we understand evil, we’ll understand why good is so good. If you know which direction south is, then you’ll also know which direction north is.
 
You make some good points.

People think following Jesus is about being perfect in behavior. That was what they were trying to do before Jesus, and what Jesus came to change.

Following Jesus is about accepting behavioral faults in both ourselves and others, and being perfect in the love that heals us and draws us to God and each others, through the mercy of Jesus – which heals us and keeps us close to Him. Accepting the fact that we are imperfect, and trusting in His mercy. He is here to help us learn to think in more loving ways, not to judge and condemn our failures for doing so.

The good news is that Pope Francis agrees with you about joy and must consider it a high priority because he began to speak out on it only two months after becoming Pope:

Pope: Sad Christian faces are like pickled peppers

Vatican City, May 10, 2013 / 09:33 am (CNA/EWTN News).- Pope Francis underscored the importance of being joyful by contrasting sad Christian faces – which are more like “pickled peppers” – with the testimony of a beautiful life.

“Sometimes these melancholic Christians’ faces have more in common with pickled peppers than the joy of having a beautiful life,” Pope Francis said May 10.

“If we keep this joy to ourselves it will make us sick in the end, our hearts will grow old and wrinkled and our faces will no longer transmit that great joy, only nostalgia and melancholy which is not healthy,” he added.

Another version of the story: Sourpusses hurt the church’s witness, mission, pope says at Mass

By Cindy Wooden
Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) – Using a phrase that translates literally as “the face of a pickled pepper,” Pope Francis said that when Christians have more of a sourpuss than a face that communicates the joy of being loved by God, they harm the witness of the church.

“The Christian is a man or woman of joy,” the pope said May 10, giving a homily during his morning Mass in the chapel of the Domus Sanctae Marthae.

While happiness is a good thing, the pope said, it’s not the same as the profound joy that comes from “the certainty that Jesus is with us and with the Father.”

If one tries to be happy all the time, he said, that happiness ends up “transforming itself into lightness, superficiality and leads to a state of lacking Christian wisdom; it can make us fools, dupes, no?”

“Joy is something else. Joy is a gift from the Lord. It fills us from the inside,” the pope said at the Mass attended by staff from Vatican Radio and concelebrated by Venezuelan Archbishop Baltazar Enrique Porras Cardozo of Merida and Abbot Notker Wolf, the Benedictine abbot primate.
 
The joy is in the cross. In daily calamities, growing in virtue and doing the will of God.
 
Yes, Christians can and should be joyful!

The Gospels give us seven last phrases that Jesus said while on the Cross because of our sins. Were any of those seven phrases: “I am so ticked at you guys! You are in so much trouble!”? No, he didn’t say that. Rather, he said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”

Jesus’ final words were not of vengeance but of mercy. Never forget that.

Yes, we sin. We sin every day. The Psalms say that even the just man falls seven times a day. I’m quite sure I fall a bit more than that. Yet we are called to be people of joy and people of hope.

Our sins do not define us. We are defined as being sons and daughters of God, made in His image and likeness, for whom He came to earth to suffer, die, and rise so that we can be redeemed and one day share that ultimate joy with Him in heaven.

Jesus’ death and Resurrection do not mean that we who follow him will never sin again. But it means that we can be forgiven. Not some finite number of times, but without number. We fall. We get back up. We fall again. We get back up again. That’s the story of our lives. The worst thing we can do is to fall and just stay down thinking that we do not deserve to be back up on our feet again. Jesus is always there to pick us up again. Always.

Yes, sometimes the Cross is heavy for us. Sometimes we don’t feel that joyful. That’s okay. We keep striving to give it all to the Lord. And we avail ourselves of the sacraments.

The sacraments are so key to our spiritual life. Jesus gave them as a gift to us so that we would have a concrete, visible way to know with certainty that we are receiving grace. So make use of those sacraments. Go to Confession. Receive Communion. Do this frequently. Start going to Mass during the week if possible. The sacraments sustain us. The sacraments make it possible for us to do the impossible: to live holy lives. We will still sin. But we will keep moving in the right direction.

I will say a prayer for you. God bless!
 
Jesus’ death and Resurrection do not mean that we who follow him will never sin again. But it means that we can be forgiven. Not some finite number of times, but without number. We fall. We get back up. We fall again. We get back up again. That’s the story of our lives. The worst thing we can do is to fall and just stay down thinking that we do not deserve to be back up on our feet again. Jesus is always there to pick us up again. Always.
The only thing that bothers me is that I may fall but not have the chance to pick myself up
before I am called to judgement.
 
The only thing that bothers me is that I may fall but not have the chance to pick myself up
before I am called to judgement.
Our God cannot be outdone in mercy. I don’t think He’s out to catch us at just the wrong time so that we go to hell instead of heaven.
 
You make some good points.

People think following Jesus is about being perfect in behavior. That was what they were trying to do before Jesus, and what Jesus came to change.

Following Jesus is about accepting behavioral faults in both ourselves and others, and being perfect in the love that heals us and draws us to God and each others, through the mercy of Jesus – which heals us and keeps us close to Him. Accepting the fact that we are imperfect, and trusting in His mercy. He is here to help us learn to think in more loving ways, not to judge and condemn our failures for doing so.

The good news is that Pope Francis agrees with you about joy and must consider it a high priority because he began to speak out on it only two months after becoming Pope:

Pope: Sad Christian faces are like pickled peppers

Vatican City, May 10, 2013 / 09:33 am (CNA/EWTN News).- Pope Francis underscored the importance of being joyful by contrasting sad Christian faces – which are more like “pickled peppers” – with the testimony of a beautiful life.

“Sometimes these melancholic Christians’ faces have more in common with pickled peppers than the joy of having a beautiful life,” Pope Francis said May 10.

“If we keep this joy to ourselves it will make us sick in the end, our hearts will grow old and wrinkled and our faces will no longer transmit that great joy, only nostalgia and melancholy which is not healthy,” he added.

Another version of the story: Sourpusses hurt the church’s witness, mission, pope says at Mass

By Cindy Wooden
Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) – Using a phrase that translates literally as “the face of a pickled pepper,” Pope Francis said that when Christians have more of a sourpuss than a face that communicates the joy of being loved by God, they harm the witness of the church.

“The Christian is a man or woman of joy,” the pope said May 10, giving a homily during his morning Mass in the chapel of the Domus Sanctae Marthae.

While happiness is a good thing, the pope said, it’s not the same as the profound joy that comes from “the certainty that Jesus is with us and with the Father.”

If one tries to be happy all the time, he said, that happiness ends up “transforming itself into lightness, superficiality and leads to a state of lacking Christian wisdom; it can make us fools, dupes, no?”

“Joy is something else. Joy is a gift from the Lord. It fills us from the inside,” the pope said at the Mass attended by staff from Vatican Radio and concelebrated by Venezuelan Archbishop Baltazar Enrique Porras Cardozo of Merida and Abbot Notker Wolf, the Benedictine abbot primate.
To make a long story short, I would like to feel like I have some choice in my life. Not strict obligation. I have to obey my father. I have to obey God. If I choose to get married, then my husband. What point is my life important? Where is my free-will if I MUST OBEY, if I DO NOT, I sin? Why give a person free-will yet if they do not follow your orders, then they will go to hell? Where is the choice in that? It is important to live a God-centered life. I would like to feel like I have a choice, it does not mean I will choose sin, but I DO NOT LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING FORCED TO DO SOMETHING or DOING SOMETHING TO AVOID PUNISHMENT. Where is the joy in Christianity? LET ME BE. Sure, I was created to glorify God. It seems like everything and everyone is controlling and running my life. It may not be RIGHT to rebel, but people WANT to feel like they have A CHOICE. If that is inherently sinful, than so be it.
 
To make a long story short, I would like to feel like I have some choice in my life. Not strict obligation. I have to obey my father. I have to obey God. If I choose to get married, then my husband. What point is my life important? Where is my free-will if I MUST OBEY, if I DO NOT, I sin? Why give a person free-will yet if they do not follow your orders, then they will go to hell? Where is the choice in that? It is important to live a God-centered life. I would like to feel like I have a choice, it does not mean I will choose sin, but I DO NOT LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING FORCED TO DO SOMETHING or DOING SOMETHING TO AVOID PUNISHMENT. Where is the joy in Christianity? LET ME BE. Sure, I was created to glorify God. It seems like everything and everyone is controlling and running my life. It may not be RIGHT to rebel, but people WANT to feel like they have A CHOICE. If that is inherently sinful, than so be it.
I think you have some skewed ideas about freedom and obedience. Honoring your parents does not mean doing everything they tell you to do without question even into adulthood. If you are an adult, you can make your own decisions.

And getting married does not mean you obey your husband as though he were your lord and master. I am married, and I guarantee you that I do not tell my wife what to do. There’s no way she would let me get away with that. 😛

True freedom isn’t always just about license to choose and do whatever we feel like doing, though. When we act contrary to the will of God, we find ourselves more enslaved, not less so. Doing God’s will is where freedom is found.

But, of course, this doesn’t mean that our life is set and we have no say in how our life pans out. We certainly do have choices. And God will be with us through it all. We want to avoid sin, but there are lots of goods to choose from.

It sounds to me from your post that you are fundamentally feeling trapped and out of control. That’s not a symptom of genuine Christianity, though. Our faith leads to freedom, not slavery.

Have you spoken to a priest or a counselor about some of these thoughts? Talking to a competent, objective third party might be helpful in sorting out these thoughts with regards to your parents and potential future spouse.
 
True freedom isn’t always just about license to choose and do whatever we feel like doing, though. When we act contrary to the will of God, we find ourselves more enslaved, not less so. Doing God’s will is where freedom is found.
From this excellent post, I would like to highlight and elaborate on the above-mentioned sentences. I feel as if an understanding of what they truly mean will allow you to begin to pave a way towards a renewed enlightenment in regards to the views you have set forth and where they come from.

I should begin by saying that I am immensely compelled to respond to this thread because I, like you, had a remarkably similar view at some point in my life. That is, I felt almost exactly the same way about obedience to God. It began to become compulsive, and although I was doing the right things, I felt no joy attached to those actions whatsoever because I felt as if I almost had no other choice. In my eyes, if I did not obey, an extreme impending punishment would be imposed upon me. The fear of this led me to feel as if I was forcefully doing these actions, with little to no joy or even any emotion involved. At times I even felt sadness for what I conceived to be a complete slavery. “Why have I been made a slave of God?” is a question I would frequently murmur. It was not until an immense realization was bestowed upon me that I was able to view life, the world around me, and the afterlife from a completely different perspective. Through my subsequent disobedience, I began to realize that real slavery lies in sin itself. I began to realize how terrible of a chain it is; how it is a vicious circle that only leads to ruin. It is through obedience to God that one experiences the true freedom that God meant for each and every single one of us to experience throughout our entire lives here on this earth and infinitely and eternally beyond. It is only through love that we are able to come to this realization. When love is at the root of each and every single one of our actions, it is impossible to view them in any way similar to slavery. In fact, we do them with the utmost joy. It is through seeking God, no matter how difficult things may become, and no matter how many mental or internal battles we may undergo, that we realize how meaningful and unconditional God’s love for us truly is. The most important thing to note is that we are called to be children of God, not slaves of Him. I understand that you have a yearning to become more independent. I will guarantee you, however, that the more independent you become, the more you will realize how much you need Him to keep pushing forward. We are dependent on God, and it is not meant to be viewed as a negative thing, instead an immensely beautiful thing. We are only human, we are not capable of doing things on our own. That idea in itself is a contradiction. We all come from God, and to invoke Him in each and every one of our actions only facilitates our lives, feeds our souls, feeds our minds, and gives us a strength that no one else can give. Pray to God so that He may show you the light, and so that He may help you interpret what this experience at this time in your life is meant to teach you. Each and every experience in our lives has an immensely meaningful lesson attached to it, from the smallest to the biggest.
Love always.
Praying for you.
Raul.
 
To make a long story short, I would like to feel like I have some choice in my life. Not strict obligation. I have to obey my father. I have to obey God. If I choose to get married, then my husband. What point is my life important? Where is my free-will if I MUST OBEY, if I DO NOT, I sin? Why give a person free-will yet if they do not follow your orders, then they will go to hell? Where is the choice in that? It is important to live a God-centered life. I would like to feel like I have a choice, it does not mean I will choose sin, but I DO NOT LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING FORCED TO DO SOMETHING or DOING SOMETHING TO AVOID PUNISHMENT. Where is the joy in Christianity? LET ME BE. Sure, I was created to glorify God. It seems like everything and everyone is controlling and running my life. It may not be RIGHT to rebel, but people WANT to feel like they have A CHOICE. If that is inherently sinful, than so be it.
Who is telling you whom you should marry? Are your parents forcing you to marry someone, like in a pre-arranged ceremony? It sounds like you are being squashed pretty small.

I’m pretty sure God leaves it up to us whom we marry, and if we want to get married. There are ways people feel different degrees of confidence whether the Holy Spirit is guiding them to it, but I think a lot of that is speculation and the rest of it we can’t measure anyway.

So if your father isn’t telling you whom to marry, then you have a choice. If he is, then I guess it depends on your culture and values whether you’re going to go along with it.
 
From this excellent post, I would like to highlight and elaborate on the above-mentioned sentences. I feel as if an understanding of what they truly mean will allow you to begin to pave a way towards a renewed enlightenment in regards to the views you have set forth and where they come from.

I should begin by saying that I am immensely compelled to respond to this thread because I, like you, had a remarkably similar view at some point in my life. That is, I felt almost exactly the same way about obedience to God. It began to become compulsive, and although I was doing the right things, I felt no joy attached to those actions whatsoever because I felt as if I almost had no other choice. In my eyes, if I did not obey, an extreme impending punishment would be imposed upon me. The fear of this led me to feel as if I was forcefully doing these actions, with little to no joy or even any emotion involved. At times I even felt sadness for what I conceived to be a complete slavery. “Why have I been made a slave of God?” is a question I would frequently murmur. It was not until an immense realization was bestowed upon me that I was able to view life, the world around me, and the afterlife from a completely different perspective. Through my subsequent disobedience, I began to realize that real slavery lies in sin itself. I began to realize how terrible of a chain it is; how it is a vicious circle that only leads to ruin. It is through obedience to God that one experiences the true freedom that God meant for each and every single one of us to experience throughout our entire lives here on this earth and infinitely and eternally beyond. It is only through love that we are able to come to this realization. When love is at the root of each and every single one of our actions, it is impossible to view them in any way similar to slavery. In fact, we do them with the utmost joy. It is through seeking God, no matter how difficult things may become, and no matter how many mental or internal battles we may undergo, that we realize how meaningful and unconditional God’s love for us truly is. The most important thing to note is that we are called to be children of God, not slaves of Him. I understand that you have a yearning to become more independent. I will guarantee you, however, that the more independent you become, the more you will realize how much you need Him to keep pushing forward. We are dependent on God, and it is not meant to be viewed as a negative thing, instead an immensely beautiful thing. We are only human, we are not capable of doing things on our own. That idea in itself is a contradiction. We all come from God, and to invoke Him in each and every one of our actions only facilitates our lives, feeds our souls, feeds our minds, and gives us a strength that no one else can give. Pray to God so that He may show you the light, and so that He may help you interpret what this experience at this time in your life is meant to teach you. Each and every experience in our lives has an immensely meaningful lesson attached to it, from the smallest to the biggest.
Love always.
Praying for you.
Raul.
Thank for you response Raul. Understanding God will take forever. I guess I become frustrated how no matter how hard I try. I can not be perfect
 
My heart bleeds for you, however, I do feel I need to give some tough love
To make a long story short, I would like to feel like I have some choice in my life. Not strict obligation. I have to obey my father…
Why do you have to obey your father? If you still live at home, well, then yes. However, if you are in your twenties, it is possible to make steps to move out
I have to obey God…
Nope, God gave you free sill. You can reject him. However, freedom brings consequence and if you desire to be with Him forever in Heaven, it would be wise to seek out His will. And that is the freest choice you have
If I choose to get married, then my husband…
Nothing could be further form the truth. Just curious but where did you get that idea?
What point is my life important?
Right now. Pray for strength to do things that will bring you joy
Why give a person free-will yet if they do not follow your orders, then they will go to hell?
God wanted us to choose him out of love not out of it being the only option
It seems like everything and everyone is controlling and running my life…
You admitted to listening to your friends because you are the one asking for advice. Yes, it will be a hard habit to break, but it is in your power to quit asking them and doing your own thin
 
My heart bleeds for you, however, I do feel I need to give some tough love

Why do you have to obey your father? If you still live at home, well, then yes. However, if you are in your twenties, it is possible to make steps to move out

Nope, God gave you free sill. You can reject him. However, freedom brings consequence and if you desire to be with Him forever in Heaven, it would be wise to seek out His will. And that is the freest choice you have

Nothing could be further form the truth. Just curious but where did you get that idea?

Right now. Pray for strength to do things that will bring you joy

God wanted us to choose him out of love not out of it being the only option

You admitted to listening to your friends because you are the one asking for advice. Yes, it will be a hard habit to break, but it is in your power to quit asking them and doing your own thin
I only live with my father during the summer. It just feels like you have only two options: to sin or not to sin? I honestly feel like I have one option, not to sin. Maybe I will give this topic a rest before I drive myself completely insane. I just think, there is so much in this world. I will have a lot of experiences in this world, good one and bad ones. No excuse for sin. By the time I reach 80, hopefully, I highly doubt I would not sin from my age til then. It seems COMPLETELY INEVITABLE. I will have made many mistakes. Sure, I SHOULD BE A Good Christian. It is unrealistic to expect my relationship with Jesus to be ideal throughout the entire coarse of my life. It is not a good thing, I WILL SIN AGAIN.
 
yeah peligia…

i feel exactly the same as you

i think god is cruel

everyone must submit to him

i dont think it is fair

anyway… i’ll have to calm down:mad:
 
Jesus’ relationships with His friends were not based on their righteousness. He stood in defense of sinners, that would have been condemned under the law in accordance with those who were supposedly “righteous” but Jesus saw through their outward acts and into their hearts, by way of their words. He called them “whitewashed tombs.”

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth."

Remember Jesus said only the sick need to come to a hospital. He came to befriend sinners, not the righteous.

The self-righteous don’t need heavenly rewards. Their rewards are already in their own distorted minds. They think they are better than others.

“Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector. The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity—greedy, dishonest, adulterous—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’ But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’ I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
 
I feel like all I ever hear of improving as a Catholic, eliminating sin, having fear or respect for God. Where is the joy in Christianity? I never feel happy or content. I do not even feel like I have free-will. If I do not follow God’s orders, I will sin inevitably. There is never an excuse for sin, yet unfortunately I AM HUMAN, I will sin again tomorrow or maybe even today. I am very tempted to leave the church altogether. All I feel is guilt, layers of guilt. I do not understand how God can make us human and expects to live up to Godly standards. I am NOT Jesus. If I have all this guilt during my mid-twenties, how will I ever make it becoming working individual. I will make mistakes at work, I SHOULD NOT. I will make mistakes in my relationships. I will make mistakes as a parent. What should I do? Just give up. :mad: I feel obligated TO DO THE RIGHT. I do not think I should. I think I should love serving God, not do it out of reluctance because if I DO NOT DO IT, I will be punished, burn in eternity. I have a CONTROLLING FATHER, I guess that is exactly how I imagine God. My way or the highway? Following God seems like another way to be controlled. When will I have my OWN LIFE. During my twenties, my parents STILL tell me what to do, and I OBEY. God TELLS me what to do. My friends give me advice, I CAN NOT GET MAD because I ASK. I am too scared to make my own decisions. The priest give me advice. IF I get married, I must follow what my husband says. At what point is my life, MY OWN? While I do not think it is good for teenagers to be rebellious, IT IS POINT FOR PEOPLE TO FIND THEMSELVES. If you always follow what your parents tell you, what happens when your parents die? You have to figure things out for yourself. At some point, I SHOULD KNOW what it is good or bad for me. Rebellious teenagers are TRYING TO GROW UP. Blindly following orders and rules just does not work for me. Or doing things because I AM SCARED. I do not like that, I WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT. W
I would caution you to continually measure yourself up against the rubric of a “good Catholic”. What is a good Catholic, anyway? Do not let your imperfections keep you from approaching the Cross. In fact, fly to it because of them! It is you Christ died for, even knowing all of your faults and imperfections. Receive the gift of love He died to give you as an act of love for Him: that is all that matters. Love God and love neighbors.
 
I do not like that, I WANT TO DO WHAT I WANT. W
If what you want to do is for God’s greater honor and glory and for the salvation of souls (including your own), then good. But if what you want to do is not for God’s greater honor and glory and for the salvation of your soul, then you should NOT do what you want, for the sake of your immortal soul. God bless you.
 
Paul struggled too. You are in good company.

Rom 7:14-25
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold into slavery to sin. What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate.

Now if I do what I do not want, I concur that the law is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh. The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not. For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want.

Now if * do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand. For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self, but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.

Miserable one that I am! Who will deliver me from this mortal body? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore, I myself, with my mind, serve the law of God but, with my flesh, the law of sin.

MS*
 
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