Dear Mary,
This is what the Church teaches: Anyone who has sexual intercourse with someone with whom he or she is not validly married, commits a mortal sin every time this happens. A Catholic who is not married in the Catholic Church is not considered to be validly married.
Should you decide to live in a celibate way with your husband, and go to Confession, then you may receive Holy Communion. I might add that nothing is worth a mortal sin. We are talking eternity here. I encourage you to spend some time looking at a crucifix, reflecting on the love He has for you. He held nothing back. It is never too late to begin holding nothing back for Him.
Your pastor meant well, but he watered down the teaching of the Church; something he has no right to do.
Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.
