Am I still scrupulous? Are these sins?

[MilesVitae]

I know that this matter is best taken up directly with a confessor/spiritual director, but I will be unable to see him for a while, so…

A brief introduction: I am not a practicing Catholic - although I pray and am pretty sure of the Faith, I have not received the sacraments or firmly tried to lead a completely virtuous life in years.
At this time I am coming closer to returning to the Sacraments and am trying to live a better life - specifically, I have one friend in particular whom I am trying to love and act rightly towards.

When I was practicing the faith, I was intensely scrupulous. Now that am trying to practice virtue more firmly, at least towards this one person, I am wondering if I am becoming scrupulous again. In the past, even while not practicing the faith, when I have tried to devote myself to someone or something (a girlfriend, for instance, or adhering to the teachings of the Church) I have found myself experiencing a great deal of anxiety and uncertainty, and sometimes obsessive compulsive behaviors. In this case, I am not experiencing such a high level of anxiety or compulsion - none the less, I wonder if I am suffering from scrupulosity.

I am often in doubt about what I should or should not say or do. When I was sure that I was scrupulous, I would try to follow the rule that “When in doubt, assume I am being scrupulous,” a rule I have received from sound sources. I am not sure, however, whether I still ought to follow this, or to what extent. I am pretty sure that I do overthink a lot of small decisions, and when it seems to me that I probably am doing so, I try to apply the above principle. None the less, I fear that sometimes I am deceiving myself in applying this principle, and using it to justify saying or doing something I think to be wrong (in fact, I think I have done this). How should I proceed?

Also, one of my main worries revolves around the notion of near occasions of sin. I do not think my friendship with this person is a near occasion of any fully conscious, premeditated sin - venial or grave. However, I frequently find that I will make a very, quick, momentary decision to do or say something which, in that moment, I realize I am in doubt about. This usually happens at least once or twice when I am with this person. Are such decisions sins? If so, does this mean my friend is a near occasion of sin? What about the kinds of decisions mentioned in the previous paragraph - does that make her a near occasion of sin?

Do you think I am scrupulous?

I have a meeting scheduled with a spiritual director for next week, but in the mean time I am worrying quite a bit.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Do you think I am scrupulous?

I have a meeting scheduled with a spiritual director for next week, but in the mean time I am worrying quite a bit.

Yes.
But scrupulous people would like not to be scrupulous and lead a life without rules.
But they are scrupulous.
So they balance from one extreme to the other.
Your SD will help you find the middle term.

 

[MilesVitae]

Yes.
But scrupulous people would like not to be scrupulous and lead a life without rules.
But they are scrupulous.
So they balance from one extreme to the other.
Your SD will help you find the middle term.

I am not sure I understand the point you are making,

 

[George_Stegmeir]

If you are so scrupulous, why have you neglected the sacraments in violation of the tenets of our faity? It sounds supremely egotistical to me. You should be talking to a priest instead of posting on the internet.

 

[Bookcat]

Let us praise God for his moving back in the right direction…and pray him in all he needs.

 

[MilesVitae]

If you are so scrupulous, why have you neglected the sacraments in violation of the tenets of our faity?

Various reasons - including fear of scrupulosity, as well as attachment to actual sins.
When I have practiced, however, or tried to live up (at least in part) to absolute/moral standards, the scrupulosity has kicked back in, and I am trying to determine if that is what is happening now.

 

[Bookcat]

I would recommend that yes you get with your spiritual director/confessor.

 

[Bookcat]

Various reasons - including fear of scrupulosity, as well as attachment to actual sins.
When I have practiced, however, or tried to live up (at least in part) to absolute/moral standards, the scrupulosity has kicked back in, and I am trying to determine if that is what is happening now.

What can happen at times is that a person who is scrupulous can end up away from the sacraments…etc take the wrong course in seeking to deal with their fears etc. Such can lead rather to a worse situation.

As St. Thomas More noted it is better a conscience to narrow than too wide…

What you will want to do is have a regular confessor. To guide you and give you principles to follow. To be able to act against scruples…to despise them…(while doing the good and avoiding real evil).

It is not the absolutes of morality that is the problem as you know but rather difficulty of scruples. Fear and anxiety where it ought not be.

In Jesus of Nazareth is true life.

Seek to love and follow him…to live his Sacraments, to live more a life of confidence and joy, bearing the cross of scruples while it lasts, praying and following…and loving…

Know that Jesus the Good Shepherd loves you!

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I am not sure I understand the point you are making,

Every Christian wished sometimes he would free of Christian yoke, so as to have a freer life and do things as we are pleased.

Every atheist would like sometimes to be a believer so as to have something to believe and a reason to live.

Now, you are and Extreme Caholic for you are scrupulous. You balance to one extreme. So, I thought (I may be wrong) that you may sometimes wish to go to the other side.

So the middle term is the ideal.

Now, forget it if it does not make sense.

 

[puzzleannie]

I Do you think I am scrupulous?

I have a meeting scheduled with a spiritual director for next week, but in the mean time I am worrying quite a bit.

what I think is immaterial. What do you think based on your past history, and what does your spiritual director think. I can tell that if you are scrupulous one of the worst things you can do is rehash every minor thought and action here.