Am I trying too hard?

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ACanthony

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I have had some discouragement lately, mainly from dealing with some changes in my life regarding employment–all for the better, but I don’t quite have my routine straightened out yet…I’m dealing with a lot of new people and new situations (I probably could get better sleep and eat better too so I can have more sound of a mind) and some of these discouragements are bringing out some bad temptations. I almost fell into bad sin today as a result from temptation due to discouragement. I went to Confession today, so the slate is clean, but I’m still feeling like I’m almost trying too hard. I go to Mass every day. I say my Rosary every day. Yet, still I feel like I’m either not trying hard enough or I’m trying way too hard.

My priest told me to pray for wisdom. There are so many things I would like to pray for like perseverance and gratitude for what I already have, and self control…many things really. Does anyone have suggestions for a person that is feeling a little overwhelmed?
 
You might meditate on the Padre Pio quote you have as your signature and pray for his intercession. I’ll offer a prayer for you myself. God Bless.
 
Without the comfort of sin I could not last a month on this planet. Remember the lyrics, “I give in to sin because you have to make this life livable”. Some of us are prone to worrying, have anxiety, are easily hurt, easily overwhelmed, things and people get to us easily, am I not speaking the truth? If there is a cure to this condition-- money isn’t a cure per se, but the next best thing right after a cure-- I don’t know what it is. The best Jesus can offer is the “suffer now, live it up later” promise, but that won’t keep anyone happy and content for the time being. I don’t like how he places us in anxiety-creating situations yet expect us to not do anything to allay it, if God stopped playing hide and seek, he could rid us of our anxiety when we asked him, yet he doesn’t. God is a little too complicated for my own liking. I think he’d be inclined to act very quickly if his own happiness was in jeopardy, though. Of course this is all for our best interest.
 
ACanthony said:
I have had some discouragement lately, mainly from dealing with some changes in my life regarding employment–all for the better, but I don’t quite have my routine straightened out yet…I’m dealing with a lot of new people and new situations (I probably could get better sleep and eat better too so I can have more sound of a mind) and some of these discouragements are bringing out some bad temptations. I almost fell into bad sin today as a result from temptation due to discouragement. I went to Confession today, so the slate is clean, but I’m still feeling like I’m almost trying too hard. I go to Mass every day. I say my Rosary every day. Yet, still I feel like I’m either not trying hard enough or I’m trying way too hard.

My priest told me to pray for wisdom. There are so many things I would like to pray for like perseverance and gratitude for what I already have, and self control…many things really. Does anyone have suggestions for a person that is feeling a little overwhelmed?
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I’m there with you. I started a new full time temporary job last month after being unemployed for 7 months due to illness. I have trouble eating and sleeping well, and dealing with new stimulation.

I think you’re being too hard on yourself.

Prayer does help me, and so does reading the Bible, especially the Gospel of Matthew when Jesus tells us not to worry about our life and that His yoke is easy, His burden is light.

I found that I cannot do much during the week after work, and have to save most chores and all socializing until the weekends.

I think your idea of praying for gratitude is a great idea.
 
Lisa, why do you think God wants us miserable? Why all this mystery, my life ain’t much fun, I’m crippled by fears, plagued by despair, I have social anxiety, I am terrified of intimacy (closeness with other people), why doesn’t God heal me once and for all of all these things that make me HATE life and wish I wasn’t around? A lovable God that would treat us like a good father would, why does it have to be this stingy God? Every freaking time things start to look up, I always get punched in the face. Some unexpected ship will happen and throw me off course.
 
Robertanthony said:
Lisa, why do you think God wants us miserable? Why all this mystery, my life ain’t much fun, I’m crippled by fears, plagued by despair, I have social anxiety, I am terrified of intimacy (closeness with other people), why doesn’t God heal me once and for all of all these things that make me HATE life and wish I wasn’t around? A lovable God that would treat us like a good father would, why does it have to be this stingy God? Every freaking time things start to look up, I always get punched in the face. Some unexpected ship will happen and throw me off course.
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I don’t think I said that God wants us miserable. What did I said that led you to believe that?

I do think life is tough and God can help.

I have some health problems, physical and mental, and have prayed and been prayed over for healing. However, it hasn’t happened completely and may not this side of Heaven. God does help me every day to carry my cross.
 
Lisa1967 said:
I don’t think I said that God wants us miserable. What did I said that led you to believe that?

I do think life is tough and God can help.

I have some health problems, physical and mental, and have prayed and been prayed over for healing. However, it hasn’t happened completely and may not this side of Heaven. God does help me every day to carry my cross.
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Not what you said, looking at my situation and the situation of many people, often believers, for whom there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight to their countless problems. Why does God want us to try our hardest to relieve the suffering of our neighbours and doesn’t do the same for us when we ask him, sometimes begging daily for years and years and years. Puzzling. I lost my faith (meaning trust) in God when I realized that he wasn’t willing to lift his little finger to improve my lot. That realization was like a massive punch in the face (“God is not on my side, contrary to what I’d been taking for granted”) He decreed a life of misery and will not relent.
 
Robertanthony said:
Not what you said, looking at my situation and the situation of many people, often believers, for whom there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight to their countless problems. Why does God want us to try our hardest to relieve the suffering of our neighbours and doesn’t do the same for us when we ask him, sometimes begging daily for years and years and years. Puzzling. I lost my faith (meaning trust) in God when I realized that he wasn’t willing to lift his little finger to improve my lot. He decreed a life of misery and will not relent.
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I was responding to the person who posed the question. If you felt blown off, I’m sorry. I can’t answer everyone.
 
Lisa1967 said:
I was responding to the person who posed the question. If you felt blown off, I’m sorry. I can’t answer everyone.
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Sometimes you’ll nod at someone and they’ll start telling you off. That’s part of life I guess. Have a great life.
 
May God grant you peace, and may the Holy Spirit guide you in wisdom, balance, and virtue, and compassion.
May God bless you, as you cope with all the challenges of your life.

It comes to mind to pray the Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi for you, for each of us who struggle in our daily lives:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
Code: 
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
God bless,
Trishie
 
Robertanthony said:
Lisa, why do you think God wants us miserable? Why all this mystery, my life ain’t much fun, I’m crippled by fears, plagued by despair, I have social anxiety, I am terrified of intimacy (closeness with other people), why doesn’t God heal me once and for all of all these things that make me HATE life and wish I wasn’t around? A lovable God that would treat us like a good father would, why does it have to be this stingy God? Every freaking time things start to look up, I always get punched in the face. Some unexpected ship will happen and throw me off course.
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I’m so sorry to hear that you’re suffering so much. I’ll pray for you. God does not want us to be miserable. I would encourage you to seek out a priest or good professed religious to speak with. I would encourage you to perhaps seek professional help, as well.

I don’t think God is stingy but He does permit suffering in our lives from time to time. At times when I’ve suffered loneliness, sadness and the like, I consider that suffering to be a small portion of our Lord’s Agony in the Garden. It may help you to read and meditate on that.

I also found a lot of alleviation for my suffering by praying the Rosary and praying to the Saints, especially Saint Therese of Liseiux. She suffered so much at the end of her life she was tempted to commit suicide. She’s been there and understands.
 
ACanthony said:
I have had some discouragement lately, mainly from dealing with some changes in my life regarding employment–all for the better, but I don’t quite have my routine straightened out yet…I’m dealing with a lot of new people and new situations (I probably could get better sleep and eat better too so I can have more sound of a mind) and some of these discouragements are bringing out some bad temptations. I almost fell into bad sin today as a result from temptation due to discouragement. I went to Confession today, so the slate is clean, but I’m still feeling like I’m almost trying too hard. I go to Mass every day. I say my Rosary every day. Yet, still I feel like I’m either not trying hard enough or I’m trying way too hard.

My priest told me to pray for wisdom. There are so many things I would like to pray for like perseverance and gratitude for what I already have, and self control…many things really. Does anyone have suggestions for a person that is feeling a little overwhelmed?
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When you’re feeling the weight of what seems like an endless journey with no foreseeable relief, barring a miracle… the best thing to do is stop looking forward into that and just stay in the moment. Put one foot in front of the other and try and make the most of that moment you’re in. The fact is that God loves you and each one of us as His child. He is the best ‘parent’ you could imagine. That means that whatever is happening to us, is part of life in this fallen world, testing our resolve to pick up our Cross and walk the Way of Jesus. Sometimes when I’m feeling really overwrought, I imagine God saying to me… ‘Trish, if you bear this suffering, I’ll lift that amount of suffering from the lives of your children’. I always think that I could accept that deal in the blink of an eye. That’s what Jesus did for all of us… His brothers and sisters. Took on great sufferings so that we all could have salvation.

**For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ,
not only to believe in Him,
but also to suffer for His sake.
  • Philippians 1:29**
 
Robertanthony said:
Without the comfort of sin I could not last a month on this planet. Remember the lyrics, “I give in to sin because you have to make this life livable”. Some of us are prone to worrying, have anxiety, are easily hurt, easily overwhelmed, things and people get to us easily, am I not speaking the truth? If there is a cure to this condition-- money isn’t a cure per se, but the next best thing right after a cure-- I don’t know what it is. The best Jesus can offer is the “suffer now, live it up later” promise, but that won’t keep anyone happy and content for the time being. I don’t like how he places us in anxiety-creating situations yet expect us to not do anything to allay it, if God stopped playing hide and seek, he could rid us of our anxiety when we asked him, yet he doesn’t. God is a little too complicated for my own liking. I think he’d be inclined to act very quickly if his own happiness was in jeopardy, though. Of course this is all for our best interest.
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Sin is NOT a comfort. That mistaken notion could be the root cause of your misery. We do not have to sin to make this life more bearable- that’s a lie from the Evil One. Sin destroys us on every level. If you do not come before God with a truly repentant heart and firm purpose to not commit sin, that could be why you’re prayers aren’t being answered.

We are called to faithfulness, holiness and new life in Christ. We are called to live the Gospel every moment of our lives, in every instance of our lives. We are NOT called to disaparage the words of Jesus, as if His Truth is somehow lacking or incomplete, and then have the gall to think we know better.

It’s important to remember, too, that we are not called to judge God, and from your post, that sounds exactly like what you’re doing. I’m not saying this to be mean- I’ve been guilty of the same thing in the past. It’s such an easy trap to fall into. We must avoid it with all our strength. God’s ways and thoughts are so high above our ways and thoughts.
 
ACanthony said:
I have had some discouragement lately, mainly from dealing with some changes in my life regarding employment–all for the better, but I don’t quite have my routine straightened out yet…I’m dealing with a lot of new people and new situations (I probably could get better sleep and eat better too so I can have more sound of a mind) and some of these discouragements are bringing out some bad temptations. I almost fell into bad sin today as a result from temptation due to discouragement. I went to Confession today, so the slate is clean, but I’m still feeling like I’m almost trying too hard. I go to Mass every day. I say my Rosary every day. Yet, still I feel like I’m either not trying hard enough or I’m trying way too hard.

My priest told me to pray for wisdom. There are so many things I would like to pray for like perseverance and gratitude for what I already have, and self control…many things really. Does anyone have suggestions for a person that is feeling a little overwhelmed?
Click to expand...
I think there are times in life when we experience a small portion of our Lord’s Agony in the Garden. I think the best course of action is to do just as He did: prostrate ourselves before the Lord and ask for deliverance, BUT not as I will but as Thou will; seek out friends to pray with us; then, finally, surrender ourselves to the Will of the Father.

It’s consoling to remember that God will never give you more than you can handle, or demand more than you can give. He will provide you with a remedy if you faithfully seek HIm in prayer.

Don’t give up. God helps those who help themselves.

Jesus won the victory for you on the cross. You lay hold of that victory by perseverance, fidelity, humility and prayer. 👍
 
I am going to bow out of this discussion. I don’t like being attacked.
 
Lisa1967 said:
I am going to bow out of this discussion. I don’t like being attacked.
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I’m not quite sure why you’re feeling attacked. I didn’t attack you in any way, and it doesn’t look to me like anyone else was- it looks like they made a comment that seemed that way, but could be interpreted another way, too. I think that’s the problem with internet and email- it’s SO easy to misinterpret someone’s message as we’re not hearing their voice and seeing their body language. This has happened to me several times. I think instances like this show the insufficiency of internet communication. Even the emoticons only go so far.

Just my :twocents:
 
I suggest that you do everything *through *Mary. Before doing some activity that you need to do just ask Our Lady to help you to do it in union with her, in her service and for God’s honor and greater glory. When you are finished with whatever act you have done only consider yourself an unprofitable servant, but know that you have pleased Our Lord and Our Lady so much by your acting with, in, through and for Mary. [The four ways St. Louis de Montfort says we should do all our actions are: 1) in union with Mary 2) in Mary 3) through Mary and 4) for Mary.] God bless you.
 
The person and I patched things up so I consider the incident closed.
 
Robertanthony said:
Lisa, why do you think God wants us miserable? Why all this mystery, my life ain’t much fun, I’m crippled by fears, plagued by despair, I have social anxiety, I am terrified of intimacy (closeness with other people), why doesn’t God heal me once and for all of all these things that make me HATE life and wish I wasn’t around? A lovable God that would treat us like a good father would, why does it have to be this stingy God? Every freaking time things start to look up, I always get punched in the face. Some unexpected ship will happen and throw me off course.
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I remember Peter Kreeft talking about why God allows us to suffer. He said that if God instead gave us everything we wanted on a silver platter then we would be weak, spoiled, gluttonous selfish brats. Through suffering we are able to learn to understand and love others who go through the same thing. Our suffering makes us stronger. First let me tell you that I can relate to you in many ways. I have dealt with social anxiety and depression and still do to some extent; more with depression as social anxiety has alleviated. I am young and still very confused about what life will bring me in the future. I have recently moved to a new city from a small college town where I was well-established and lived for six years (it took about three years before I was able to make many friends there). It takes me forever to settle into a new place and make new friends. Frankly I hate it. Like you sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it; life is harder for some of us than it is for others. For those of us who deal with depression and anxiety the problems of life become amplified. But let me tell you, by choosing to be bitter about it and despairing and lamenting you are only making it worse for yourself. For me, I’ve seen my experiences as an opportunity to get closer to God. I believe God is using my social isolation and my emotional problems to bring me closer to Him and to grow in my faith and my trust in Him. I don’t feel cursed, I feel blessed. Try to see the good in your situation! Try to turn it around for the better. Don’t turn to sin for comfort, that will only make things worse. Look to the example of the saints, many of whom suffered far worse than either of us. Misery is a state of mind and depends entirely upon our attitudes. We cannot rely on circumstance to bring us happiness.
 
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