Am I wrong for thinking this??

[Christine85]

I told a friend today who is constantly telling me she wants to be closer to God that she should not go to a comedy festival today but should be reflecting on Christs death. She totally made out like I was being so horrible and wrong in saying that. What do you think?

 

[FCEGM]

I told a friend today who is constantly telling me she wants to be closer to God that she should not go to a comedy festival today but should be reflecting on Christs death. She totally made out like I was being so horrible and wrong in saying that. What do you think?

You made the right suggestion, Christine, but it seems like she wants closeness to God without any discomfort to herself.

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

I told a friend today who is constantly telling me she wants to be closer to God that she should not go to a comedy festival today but should be reflecting on Christs death. She totally made out like I was being so horrible and wrong in saying that. What do you think?

I don’t think encouraging someone, that professes a desire to be closer to God, to participate in the holiest time of the year is wrong. Unfortunately, it would seem her current personal desires supersedes any motivation for reflection. Deeds do speak louder than words. Did you ask her what was it about your suggestion was so ‘horrible’? Would you be able to ask her why your encouragement and concern about her spiritual well being offensive to her?

 

[marica_mandic]

I told a friend today who is constantly telling me she wants to be closer to God that she should not go to a comedy festival today but should be reflecting on Christs death. She totally made out like I was being so horrible and wrong in saying that. What do you think?

I get one good advice day before yesterday , that no one love advices.
Advices can hurt someone.
We need to talk about ours feelings.

 

[puzzleannie]

I toShe totally made out like I was being so horrible and wrong in saying that. What do you think?

did she ask your opinion or did you simply give it without being asked? or did she ask in the same context of a conversation about growing spiritually, in which your answer was based? If the former, you were probably out of line, if the latter, you gave an honest answer and her reaction is out of line. My advice would be to say, “you have asked me several times (if this is true) about spiritual growth. Since my opinions are offensive to you, please do not ask again.”

In my experience, when someone negatively overreacts this way to a legitimate answer, especially an answer they solicited, it invariably means they are wrong and they know they are in the wrong. The ball is in your court, however, to decide how in Christian charity you relate to her from now on.

I get one good advice day before yesterday , that no one love advices.
Advices can hurt someone.

this is very true
if the scenario went like this: You just got done talking about Good Friday, she says I am going to the concert what do you think? She has already made up her mind, she knows what you are going to say, and either she is looking for a fight or is subtly criticizing you. Again, what is your response in Christian charity going to be if this friendship continues?

 

[Christine85]

Well I must admit, she is constantly talking about her problems and abuot how she wants to go to church and I just lost it in that I was very upfront and wrote to her in a text after she told me she was going to a comedy festival… Dont you think Jesus would want you to mourn for his death on Good Friday… and she then proceeded to say that Jesus doesnt want us to mourn but to be happy and she called me negative

 

[puzzleannie]

I don’t text or receive texts (can’t read those little letters anymore) but it seems texting is as bad as email for saying things you cannot retract and that leave a record

 

[thirddec]

I told a friend today who is constantly telling me she wants to be closer to God that she should not go to a comedy festival today but should be reflecting on Christs death. She totally made out like I was being so horrible and wrong in saying that. What do you think?

I think she is entitled to her opinion but if she does want to be closer to God it is a strange way to go about it. But then St. Paul was a bit odd in how he got close to God.
God works in mysterious ways so you should not get disheartened by what she says or does but rather Pray for her and know God does his thing. Who knows there may be something in the show that may provoke something in her. Someone may make some jokes about the Crucifiction and this may stir things for her. You do your bit and let God do his but keep her close and be ready to lead her with the wisdom, patience and perfect timing of the Holy Spirit.

 

[Siochan_Leat]

You made the right suggestion, Christine, but it seems like she wants closeness to God without any discomfort to herself.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

I also have to think that she wasn’t going to be open to the suggestion of doing anything different or outside her comfort zone. I think the best thing you can do now is to pray for her.

 

[smichhertz]

Well I must admit, she is constantly talking about her problems and abuot how she wants to go to church and I just lost it in that I was very upfront and wrote to her in a text after she told me she was going to a comedy festival… Dont you think Jesus would want you to mourn for his death on Good Friday… and she then proceeded to say that Jesus doesnt want us to mourn but to be happy and she called me negative

You make it sound like you were doing it out of anger, which you should never do. It’s like what a parent tells their child: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”

But what you were saying is true. Maybe you could find a polite way to apologize to her and say you didn’t mean to come off as harsh. Explain that she mentioned to you on multiple occasions that she wants to grow closer to Jesus and you think this might be something that is interfering.

Find a way to say it that is constructive, that helps her see what she is missing out on.

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

Well I must admit, she is constantly talking about her problems and abuot how she wants to go to church and I just lost it in that I was very upfront and wrote to her in a text after she told me she was going to a comedy festival… Dont you think Jesus would want you to mourn for his death on Good Friday… and she then proceeded to say that Jesus doesnt want us to mourn but to be happy and she called me negative

It appears your intentions were good. We’re called upon by the Pope to evangelize our faith. If we cannot do it with people that express a desire for closeness to God, then who can we speak to? If we wait to be solicited, then we have failed our duty to our fellow man and the expectations of Christ.

Those that admonish us that it’s inappropriate to offer unsolicited advice on matters of faith are either discomfited at being Catholic or non-believers. Let us not buy into the ‘not my brother’s keeper’ line of thinking. I wouldn’t wait to be solicited to help someone injured by the side of the road, so why would I do that with regards to spiritual salvation?

From personal experience, if waited until I asked someone about God, I would still be agnostic today. My friend challenged my way of thinking years ago without my solicitation. After much reading and research, I am now an active Catholic thanks to him. I have encouraged a few other people to attend Church that were not regulars.

With regards to your situation, I think the issue is the approach rather than your intentions. A light handed tactic would be better. Most people do not like the “fire and brimstone” approach, condescending conduct or to be cold contacted. The next time this occurs, consider using something like…

“Hey, that sounds fun but today is an extremely important day for Christianity. How about we go explore what this day means at Church and I can answers any questions. This day will definitely help you get closer to God.”

You won’t sound patronizing or adversarial. Hopefully, this won’t spark the same sort of response you have had earlier with your friend.

 

[Barbkw]

The bowling league in our city is having their end-of-season celebration today and they’re serving prime rib.

 

[geekborj]

I think she is entitled to her opinion but if she does want to be closer to God it is a strange way to go about it. But then St. Paul was a bit odd in how he got close to God.
God works in mysterious ways so you should not get disheartened by what she says or does but rather Pray for her and know God does his thing. Who knows there may be something in the show that may provoke something in her. Someone may make some jokes about the Crucifiction and this may stir things for her. You do your bit and let God do his but keep her close and be ready to lead her with the wisdom, patience and perfect timing of the Holy Spirit.

Remember that you are not working here, the Holy Spirit does. Indeed, He works in His mysterious ways. Maybe in the comedy bar, the Spirit will tell her of her decision. Our role is to be used by the Spirit in the way He intends, not ours. God’s Will be done, not ours.

God is great!

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

It’s your tactic. You presented a false dichotomy from the start and that is not a nice way to convince people.

 

[Monica4316]

I told a friend today who is constantly telling me she wants to be closer to God that she should not go to a comedy festival today but should be reflecting on Christs death. She totally made out like I was being so horrible and wrong in saying that. What do you think?

I think that we shouldn’t be going to parties or comedy festivals etc on Good Friday. Not the best idea.

 

[thequeen]

If she did not ask for your opinion then you should not have given it

 

[cmscms]

Well I must admit, she is constantly talking about her problems and abuot how she wants to go to church and I just lost it in that I was very upfront and wrote to her in a text after she told me she was going to a comedy festival… Dont you think Jesus would want you to mourn for his death on Good Friday… and she then proceeded to say that Jesus doesnt want us to mourn but to be happy and she called me negative

I am sure that Jesus would love us to mourn His death on Good Friday… However, it is NOT a holiday of obligation so going to a comedy is not out of line. More traditional people may like to keep a lifestyle where they don’t watch TV on Sundays but then again a lot of good Catholics do watch TV on Sundays

To be honest, I think your behaviour was passive aggressive. It appears to me you are fed up with someone who is all talk ‘I want to be close to God’ and no action ‘She doesn’t go to church’. If that is the case, you are totally within your rights to assert yourself (and apologize) ‘I am sorry I hurt you when I told you not to go to the comedy festival. I have been feeling resentful to always have to listen to how you want to be close to God yet never go to church. If you do not wish to go to church, I can respect your opinion but I am going to have to ask you to quit talking about wanting to be close to God’

I can totally understand and relate to ‘just loosing it’ unfortunately, it is usally because I did not enforce my boundaries

CM

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

I am sure that Jesus would love us to mourn His death on Good Friday… However, it is NOT a holiday of obligation so going to a comedy is not out of line. More traditional people may like to keep a lifestyle where they don’t watch TV on Sundays but then again a lot of good Catholics do watch TV on Sundays

Yes, it is correct that Good Friday is not a day of obligation in the traditional sense. However, it is a day of strict fasting and abstinence so there is some form of obligation associated with it.