U
unworthy
Guest
My brother likes a bestfriend of mine, and he doesn’t know her; let’s call her Jennifer. He started entertaining thoughts of Jennifer when my mother suggested her to him. But my mother doesn’t know her, I do! My mother sometimes doesn’t think before she speaks–but of course, because mum said it, he’s been thinking about Jennifer a lot! Jennifer is a practising Catholic (like really practising: living-it-out-in-love-and-humble-service kind of practising). She deserves the best.
My brother has very many good qualities, but not for marriage, yet. I do not seem him as the spouse of my friend; he is unprepared. I see marriage, and so does the Church, as a holy vocation.
But while my brother deserves the best too, like Jennifer, I think he deserves the best only when he can be prepared to give the best. Does he even understand what marriage is? You see, he is not a practising Catholic, and does not hold the Church in very high regard. He has a very bad anger problem and talks down on almost everyone in the house, he tends to objectify women, does not care for how a woman should dress, gives in to unchaste thoughts or behaviour, swears and calls me and others in the family such demeaning names. But of course I am the “wacko” to him for considering all such things.
Divorce is not a problem for him. He cannot look beyond the superficial romantic, cuddly, kissing, part of dating, toward the purpose of dating. Sure he’s handsome on the outside and sure he puts on a gentlemanly facade in front of the women he likes, but I’m concerned for the marriage itself. A facade is ingenuine. Unless he is willing to become the facade he puts on, I won’t support it.
He is 26, yes, but very unprepared for marriage. She is 22, yes, but very wise, and very pure. I know he is attracted to her purity and innocence. Something he does not often see esp. among his circle of friends.
But I care about both of them. He doesn’t yet see the end for which dating is intended. He has spent his entire life consumed in the thought of women. He laughs at me when I ask him to consider any other vocation besides–GIRLS. He has not taken a good look at himself and thinks he is the best: “I am the best” he will repeat to me because he knows I won’t support or involve myself in bringing Jennifer and he together. (Contd…)
My brother has very many good qualities, but not for marriage, yet. I do not seem him as the spouse of my friend; he is unprepared. I see marriage, and so does the Church, as a holy vocation.
But while my brother deserves the best too, like Jennifer, I think he deserves the best only when he can be prepared to give the best. Does he even understand what marriage is? You see, he is not a practising Catholic, and does not hold the Church in very high regard. He has a very bad anger problem and talks down on almost everyone in the house, he tends to objectify women, does not care for how a woman should dress, gives in to unchaste thoughts or behaviour, swears and calls me and others in the family such demeaning names. But of course I am the “wacko” to him for considering all such things.
Divorce is not a problem for him. He cannot look beyond the superficial romantic, cuddly, kissing, part of dating, toward the purpose of dating. Sure he’s handsome on the outside and sure he puts on a gentlemanly facade in front of the women he likes, but I’m concerned for the marriage itself. A facade is ingenuine. Unless he is willing to become the facade he puts on, I won’t support it.
He is 26, yes, but very unprepared for marriage. She is 22, yes, but very wise, and very pure. I know he is attracted to her purity and innocence. Something he does not often see esp. among his circle of friends.
But I care about both of them. He doesn’t yet see the end for which dating is intended. He has spent his entire life consumed in the thought of women. He laughs at me when I ask him to consider any other vocation besides–GIRLS. He has not taken a good look at himself and thinks he is the best: “I am the best” he will repeat to me because he knows I won’t support or involve myself in bringing Jennifer and he together. (Contd…)
I just began to write this after an argument with my brother on this topic. I know it seems like I’m obsessing, but I really don’t think about it too much, just at the points when he asks me to get him hooked up with Jen.