Am I wrong to disapprove of my brother's intention to date one of my friends?

[GailMac]

I don’t understand what the big deal is? Or am I missing something…if your brother is only interested in a good time with this friend of yours, why do you feel obligated to give in to his suggestion that you act as an intermediary in the “accidental” meeting of Jennifer and him? Why is it hard for you to JUST SAY NO? It is very easy to do - just put the tongue to the roof of your mouth and say “NO!”

You take me back to the days of my own youth when my brother would whine over some of my girlfriends. But knowing my brother wasn’t the marrying sort, I always told him he was on his own getting girls. When friends called at the house, (one even lived with us for a while) they usually got around him pretty easy. He was only interested in a date or two and since he’d usually give up and go on to the next rather rapidly, not many no’s were needed to get him barking up another tree.

I think what your question shows is your own inability to stick up to your bigger brother. Perhaps this is something you should look at.

Peace,

Gail

 

[Belgarion]

I have a rather deicate questin for the OP. Do you have any romantic interests in this woman?

I believe the OP is a woman.

I was going to ask the same question last night, but I looked around and found that out in one of her posts.

 

[estesbob]

I believe the OP is a woman.

I was going to ask the same question last night, but I looked around and found that out in one of her posts.

So much for that question!

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

**OK, friends talk. Friends talk about their lives. Friends talk about their families. So would it be out of line to have a conversation that goes something like this?:

Can you believe what my silly brother asked me to do?

What?

He asked me to set up a meeting with you at Mass…he doesn’t even GO to Mass…

what??? he thinks Mass is a place to pick up girls??? Ha ha, fat chance

Yeah, that’s what I told him

**

 

[bilop]

Dang, y’all are coming down hard on this boy LOL.

Y’all were baggin on him cause he’s goin to Mass to meet girls. I agree not the most ideal thing, but c’mon you’d rather him not be there? And what if he does find a nice Catholic girl, strong in Faith? She’s gonna implode just because he’s on the scene?

If Jennifer is as grounded as you say, she’ll deal with him.

And who knows? Perhaps it is His plan that Jennifer not only become his partner, but the instrument that brings him back to the church and into the light? You know He does work that way. If it is not His plan, Jennifer will recognize it and take the appropitate action, right now nobody knows.

I’d just stay outta of it. “If you want to call her, up to you, but I’m not helping, what y’all do is up to the 2 of you.”

When you turn things over to God you can relax. Just like a tandem bicycle, put God on the front to steer, and you just peddle, and he will guide you. From your description is sounds like Jennifer already has Him in the front, so I wouldn’t worry too much about your brother causing her to crash.

I agree with BamaRider. This girl ALREADY has him willing to go to Mass.

It was most certainly my wife-to-be that brought me back to the Church.

I’d give her a gentle heads up about him, and let them meet. Maybe this is God’s way of bringing your bro back.

God Bless

 

[unworthy]

lol yes I’m a woman and no Estesbob I have no romantic interest in her…but you figured that out as the posts went on

Thank you all for your replies, I am reflecting on them. And someone said “mind my own business”: I would like to, but as Nordar said, he is involving me in *his * business, and getting upset that I won’t cooperate.

I have considered that it may be His plan for such a meeting, BUT my extended family is in the middle of a terrible divorce taking place right now between my uncle and aunt. My mother feels a bit guilty because she arranged and encouraged them as potential spouses. Years later, the husband was violent and abusive to my aunt and children. Terrible anger problem.

I guess that’s influencing my decision as well. I don’t want to arrange a meeting in which I know my brother is not yet prepared. As for it being God’s plan, none of us knows that but as far as my conscience goes I think I’ll stay out of helping my brother out. Thank you all for your replies. I am very grateful.

unworthy

 

[Belgarion]

lol yes I’m a woman and no Estesbob I have no romantic interest in her…but you figured that out as the posts went on

Thank you all for your replies, I am reflecting on them. And someone said “mind my own business”: I would like to, but as Nordar said, he is involving me in *his * business, and getting upset that I won’t cooperate.

I have considered that it may be His plan for such a meeting, BUT my extended family is in the middle of a terrible divorce taking place right now between my uncle and aunt. My mother feels a bit guilty because she arranged and encouraged them as potential spouses. Years later, the husband was violent and abusive to my aunt and children. Terrible anger problem.

I guess that’s influencing my decision as well. I don’t want to arrange a meeting in which I know my brother is not yet prepared. As for it being God’s plan, none of us knows that but as far as my conscience goes I think I’ll stay out of helping my brother out. Thank you all for your replies. I am very grateful.

unworthy

I’m glad I figured that part out…

I think you’ve got some good advice going here.
You are absolutely right about your brother involving you in his business. You are definitely entitled to at the very least consider taking some sort of action.

Good luck!