Amish - Family and Forgiveness, a lesson to learn

[Brian_Millar]

I was watching a little show last night, I don’t recall the name of it, partially because I rarely watch TV, but it was about an insiders view of Amish runaways leaving their families and church to join the modern world.

To start this one off, just to clarify, I’m Catholic, so please don’t turn this into a debate due to their fundamentalists beliefs.

What impressed me was how these teens were allowed to work out their rebellious years, allowed modern convienences, and the ones that escaped were not immediately excommunicated from their families and churches, that and were not dragged back in a cult like fashion such as what you would expect from other seemingly radical groups. In fact, in an interview one of their elders confessed to have owned a 64 t-bird in his youth for example. They are given a choice when they reach their adult years to be baptized into the church, or to leave and nobody is holding a gun to their heads to stay, each individual makes that choice freely on their own.

What impressed me first was their capacity for forgiveness, these runaways that returned (8 out of 10 of them do), were forgiven and welcomed back with opened arms. What impressed me even more, if you recall the horrendous shootings, they forgave the killer, now that takes integrity we all can apprieciate.

What impressed me secondly, their strong family unit. This in itself shows the true strength behind their nature. The runaways that return, tend to figure out their priorities, giving up the modern convienences in the process and shows just how strong of a bond they have to them.

Now, I’m not in agreement with their ways in many levels since they are too extreem, but it does have some appeal for a more simplistic type of existance, less cluttered, and revolved around the family unit as it’s core which has great appeal, something we should learn from. The forgiveness is also a huge element we should also try to emulate, the world would be much more peacefull of a place if we adopted those two things.

The next time someone decides to bash the Amish, or you yourself are doing so, take note, you are forgiven by them even before you even finish your statement. They are not some cult, be it, rather out of place in comparison to the modern world, they should not be lumped together with the rest.

Peace, Brian

 

[Auriel]

I remember the school shootings, all those little girls killed.

What impressed me even more was not just their forgivness, but that they put some of their funds aside from donations, etc…and gave it to the killer’s widow to help her out as well. Forgiveness in action.

 

[CHRISTINE77]

Yes we could all learn a lot from the Amish. Here is an excerpt about their forgiveness after the school shootings.

Amish response with forgiveness:

On the day of the shooting, a grandfather of one of the murdered Amish girls was heard warning some young relatives not to hate the killer, saying, “We must not think evil of this man.”

Another Amish father noted, “He had a mother and a wife and a soul and now he’s standing before a just God.”

Jack Meyer, a member of the Brethren community living near the Amish in Lancaster County, explained: “I don’t think there’s anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts.”

A Roberts family spokesman said an Amish neighbor comforted the Roberts family hours after the shooting and extended forgiveness to them.

Amish community members visited and comforted Roberts’ widow, parents, and parents-in-law. One Amish man held Roberts’ sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him.

The Amish also set up a charitable fund for the family of the shooter.

About 30 members of the Amish community attended Roberts’ funeral, and Marie Roberts, the widow of the killer, was one of the few outsiders invited to the funeral of one of the victims.

Marie Roberts wrote an open letter to her Amish neighbors thanking them for their forgiveness, grace, and mercy. She wrote, “Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.”

Some commentators criticized the swift and complete forgiveness with which the Amish responded, arguing that forgiveness is inappropriate when no remorse has been expressed, and that such an attitude runs the risk of denying the existence of evil; others were supportive. Donald Kraybill and two other scholars of Amish life noted that “letting go of grudges” is a deeply-rooted value in Amish culture, which remembers forgiving martyrs including Dirk Willems and Jesus himself. They explained that the Amish willingness to forgo vengeance does not undo the tragedy or pardon the wrong, but rather constitutes a first step toward a future that is more hopeful.

 

[Mystic_Warrior]

I was watching a little show last night, I don’t recall the name of it, partially because I rarely watch TV, but it was about an insiders view of Amish runaways leaving their families and church to join the modern world.

To start this one off, just to clarify, I’m Catholic, so please don’t turn this into a debate due to their fundamentalists beliefs.

What impressed me was how these teens were allowed to work out their rebellious years, allowed modern convienences, and the ones that escaped were not immediately excommunicated from their families and churches, that and were not dragged back in a cult like fashion such as what you would expect from other seemingly radical groups. In fact, in an interview one of their elders confessed to have owned a 64 t-bird in his youth for example. They are given a choice when they reach their adult years to be baptized into the church, or to leave and nobody is holding a gun to their heads to stay, each individual makes that choice freely on their own.

What impressed me first was their capacity for forgiveness, these runaways that returned (8 out of 10 of them do), were forgiven and welcomed back with opened arms. What impressed me even more, if you recall the horrendous shootings, they forgave the killer, now that takes integrity we all can apprieciate.

What impressed me secondly, their strong family unit. This in itself shows the true strength behind their nature. The runaways that return, tend to figure out their priorities, giving up the modern convienences in the process and shows just how strong of a bond they have to them.

Now, I’m not in agreement with their ways in many levels since they are too extreem, but it does have some appeal for a more simplistic type of existance, less cluttered, and revolved around the family unit as it’s core which has great appeal, something we should learn from. The forgiveness is also a huge element we should also try to emulate, the world would be much more peacefull of a place if we adopted those two things.

The next time someone decides to bash the Amish, or you yourself are doing so, take note, you are forgiven by them even before you even finish your statement. They are not some cult, be it, rather out of place in comparison to the modern world, they should not be lumped together with the rest.

Peace, Brian

The show was called, “The Outsiders” and I watched it too. I was disappointed in the show just because it didn’t seem very well put together. But, I too was impressed that the children were allowed to leave and then given the choice on whether to live as Amish, join the church and accept its ways or join the way of the world.

If I remember correctly, 2 of the 4 teenagers would return eventually to their families. The one teen drove a horse and buggy with a sound system that rivals most cars. He was blasting AC/DC trotting down the road. I thought that was the most fascinating part of the show.

I have so much respect for these people. They really live the lives they espouse, although neither they or us are perfect. I too was impressed with how they handled that shooting. I was horrified that they were singled out by that mass murderer. But now those children are with our Father.

Peace…

MW

 

[yellowbird]

I think it’s wonderful that the families welcome the kids back with open arms, as they should.

But, I believe if the young adults do not return to the Amish way of life, but decide instead to live, even as Christians on the outside world, the families would shun them - a practice I cannot imagine. My children are my children, whether they live as I believe they should or not.

Maybe someone who is more familar with their way of life can verify if that is actually true.

 

[Sepharad]

I’m very familiar with the Old Order Amish, I live not far from a major Amish community, and although I am “English” (non-Amish), they do talk to me.

They allow their children to do just about anything before they join the Amish church, as a way of letting them “get it out of their system” (this period is called “rumspringa”). The reason is, once they join the church, if they violate the Ordnung (church laws), they will be shunned (and if you know anything at all about an Amish shunning, it will make you seriously reconsider everything good you thought about them as forgiving people.)

The Amish figure if their kids go off and do whatever is of the world for a brief period before joining the church, they won’t be tempted to do it after they join the church.

And to the poster who asked, yes, if an Amish person after joining the church goes off into the world, they are shunned.

What does shunning entail? If a man violates the Ordnung, his wife cannot share the same house with him. She cannot even hand him anything. No Amish can buy or sell to or from him. If he owns a business that only Amish utilize (such as being a blacksmith), his business will be ruined.

I was good friends with an Amishman many years ago who converted to the SDA church. He lost everything he had: his wife, his children, his business.

As much as I love the Amish I know, and admire many of their beliefs and practices, I have to admit, knowing the details of what shunning entails sobered me up a bit as to positive attitudes about their well-known belief in forgiveness.

 

[Publisher]

I think it’s wonderful that the families welcome the kids back with open arms, as they should.

But, I believe if the young adults do not return to the Amish way of life, but decide instead to live, even as Christians on the outside world, the families would shun them - a practice I cannot imagine. My children are my children, whether they live as I believe they should or not.

Maybe someone who is more familar with their way of life can verify if that is actually true.

Actually the only time one is “shunned” is if one undergoes baptism then decides to leave. “Rumspringa” is the time when decisions are to be made. The Amish believe in “believers baptism”…and once the covenant is made the person is placed under the authority of the church and becomes a full member.

Baptism among the Amish is viewed very very seriously. Excommunication is viewed equally serious and the offending member is removed from the community. Sepharad is correct…“shunning” is severe in it’s scope…to break the baptismal covenant is a “death” of sorts. As I said, baptism is taken very very seriously.

If however a child/teen prior to baptism decides the Amish community is not for them, they are free to leave without the shunning. Many who leave join the Mennonite Church or the Brethern in Christ.

Some do decide to leave, but the Amish have a very high rate of “conversion” among their children.