An amusing thought

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Andruschak

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Well…I thought it was amusing.😃

And Jesus said unto them, “And whom do you say that I am?”
They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the
ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context
of our very selfhood revealed.”
And Jesus replied, “What?”

:rolleyes:
 
:rotfl: Now we know why Jesus didn’t chose theologians for his Apostles!
 
Hello Andruschak:

Thanks for your OP! And in the same spirit, in case you’ve never seen it, I offer you this one:

*Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and, gathering them around him, he taught them, saying:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Then Simon Peter said, “Are we supposed to know this?”
And Andrew said, “Do we have to write this down?”
And James said, “Is this on the exam?”
And John said, “The other disciples didn’t have to learn this!”
And Phillip said, “Is there an answer guide in the library?”
And Bartholomew said, “What came after poor?”
And Matthew said, “Don’t take the overhead off yet.”
And Jude said, “Master! Matthew’s copying from me!”
And Thomas said, “How long till lunch?”
And James, the son of Alphaeus, said, “Are you gonna count off for spelling?”
And Simon said, “I don’t have a pencil.”
And Judas asked to be excused, and went to the bathroom.

Then one of the Pharisees who was present approached Jesus and asked to see his lesson plan, and he inquired of Jesus, “Where are your anticipatory set and your objectives in the cognitive domain?”

And Jesus wept.*

Having been a teacher for the past 25 years, I adore this take on the Beatitiudes. Says it all.
 
Andruschak said:
Well…I thought it was amusing.😃

And Jesus said unto them, “And whom do you say that I am?”
They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the
ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context
of our very selfhood revealed.”
And Jesus replied, “What?”

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
This is why Jesus chose Galilean peasants and not German theologians to follow him. 😃
 
Moneo said:
Hello Andruschak:

Thanks for your OP! And in the same spirit, in case you’ve never seen it, I offer you this one:

*Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and, gathering them around him, he taught them, saying: *

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Then Simon Peter said, “Are we supposed to know this?”
And Andrew said, “Do we have to write this down?”
And James said, “Is this on the exam?”
And John said, “The other disciples didn’t have to learn this!”
And Phillip said, “Is there an answer guide in the library?”
And Bartholomew said, “What came after poor?”
And Matthew said, “Don’t take the overhead off yet.”
And Jude said, “Master! Matthew’s copying from me!”
And Thomas said, “How long till lunch?”
And James, the son of Alphaeus, said, “Are you gonna count off for spelling?”
And Simon said, “I don’t have a pencil.”
And Judas asked to be excused, and went to the bathroom.

*Then one of the Pharisees who was present approached Jesus and asked to see his lesson plan, and he inquired of Jesus, “Where are your anticipatory set and your objectives in the cognitive domain?” *

And Jesus wept.

Having been a teacher for the past 25 years, I adore this take on the Beatitiudes. Says it all.
Click to expand...
LOL, having been a student for too long, I get a kick out of it too! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
Andruschak said:
Well…I thought it was amusing.😃

And Jesus said unto them, “And whom do you say that I am?”
They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the
ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context
of our very selfhood revealed.”
And Jesus replied, “What?”

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
😃
 
:rotfl: These are great, thanks! Any more? I’ve never really heard any jokes along these lines, so unfortunately I don’t have any to share…
 
John: “How come I don’t get keys? I thought I was your favorite.”

Apostles after the feeding of 5000 with fish and loaves of bread: “Too bad that kid didn’t have a fatted calf!!!” 😃

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”
Stone comes flying through the air…
“Hey! Who threw that?!?”
Crowd parts in stunned silence…
“MOM???”
 
dranzal said:
John: “How come I don’t get keys? I thought I was your favorite.”

Apostles after the feeding of 5000 with fish and loaves of bread: “Too bad that kid didn’t have a fatted calf!!!” 😃

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”
Stone comes flying through the air…
“Hey! Who threw that?!?”
Crowd parts in stunned silence…
“MOM???”
Click to expand...
:rotfl:
 
dranzal said:
“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”
Stone comes flying through the air…
“Hey! Who threw that?!?”
Crowd parts in stunned silence…
“MOM???”
Click to expand...
I like this one!!!😃
 
Andruschak said:
Well…I thought it was amusing.😃

And Jesus said unto them, “And whom do you say that I am?”
They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the
ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context
of our very selfhood revealed.”
And Jesus replied, “What?”

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
 
Can I add this:

You are a being that is has aname called’Peter’, and upon this hard material that is an aggregate of minerals and/or mineraloids I will build My association of people who share a particular belief system. Behold, I give you the opening and locking devices of a place/state where the form of government is headed by a King who is the de facto Head of State; wherein all beings who was viewed as ‘good’ will go to when they shuffle their mortal coil, i.e. kick the bucket.
 
patrick457 said:
Can I add this:

You are a being that is has aname called’Peter’, and upon this hard material that is an aggregate of minerals and/or mineraloids I will build My association of people who share a particular belief system. Behold, I give you the opening and locking devices of a place/state where the form of government is headed by a King who is the de facto Head of State; wherein all beings who was viewed as ‘good’ will go to when they shuffle their mortal coil, i.e. kick the bucket.
Click to expand...
 
patrick457 said:
Can I add this:

You are a being that is has aname called’Peter’, and upon this hard material that is an aggregate of minerals and/or mineraloids I will build My association of people who share a particular belief system. Behold, I give you the opening and locking devices of a place/state where the form of government is headed by a King who is the de facto Head of State; wherein all beings who was viewed as ‘good’ will go to when they shuffle their mortal coil, i.e. kick the bucket.
Click to expand...
 
Andruschak said:
Well…I thought it was amusing.😃

And Jesus said unto them, “And whom do you say that I am?”
They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the
ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context
of our very selfhood revealed.”
And Jesus replied, “What?”

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I’m with Jesus! Huh?:confused:
 
Andruschak said:
Well…I thought it was amusing.😃

And Jesus said unto them, “And whom do you say that I am?”
They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the
ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context
of our very selfhood revealed.”
And Jesus replied, “What?”

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
…http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif…http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif…

…an amusing thought? Rather an inspired thought methought!

Blessings and thank you heaps and heaps…barb:thumbsup:

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_14_5.gif iHs
 
and Jesus said to them: Who do you say that I Am?

they replied, you are the product of the collective experience of this faith community, as expressed as our our personal subjective manifestation of the goodness of all things.

Jesus replied: what drivel!
 
Make yourself an ark of gopherwood, put various compartments in it, and cover it inside and out with pitch. 15 This is how you shall build it: the length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, its width fifty cubits, and its height thirty cubits. 16 Make an opening for daylight in the ark, and finish the ark a cubit above it. Put an entrance in the side of the ark, which you shall make with bottom, second and third decks. 17 I, on my part, am about to bring the flood (waters) on the earth, to destroy everywhere all creatures in which there is the breath of life; everything on earth shall perish. 18 But with you I will establish my covenant; you and your sons, your wife and your sons’ wives, shall go into the ark. 19 Of all other living creatures you shall bring two into the ark, one male and one female, that you may keep them alive with you. 20 Of all kinds of birds, of all kinds of beasts, and of all kinds of creeping things, two of each shall come into the ark with you, to stay alive. 21 Moreover, you are to provide yourself with all the food that is to be eaten, and store it away, that it may serve as provisions for you and for them."

Noah: “Right!..What’s a cubit??”
 
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