An amusing thought

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Sometimes the scriptures are funny all by themselves. Here is what Fr. Corapi calls the lamest excuse in history…

Aaron trying to explain to Moses how the golden calf came to be:

They said to me, ‘Make us a god to be our leader; as for the man Moses who brought us out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has happened to him.’ 24 So I told them, ‘Let anyone who has gold jewelry take it off.’ They gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and this calf came out."
This calf came out??? That’s the best you can do???

Now, you can almost picture a child trying this excuse, but Aaron was a grown man.
 
But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

All of a sudden this big boulder came accross the crowd and hit the woman square on the head.

Jesus said “Ah Mother you always ruin everything!!”
 
dranzal said:
Make yourself an ark of gopherwood, put various compartments in it, and cover it inside and out with pitch. 15 This is how you shall build it: the length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, its width fifty cubits, and its height thirty cubits. 16 Make an opening for daylight in the ark, and finish the ark a cubit above it. Put an entrance in the side of the ark, which you shall make with bottom, second and third decks. 17 I, on my part, am about to bring the flood (waters) on the earth, to destroy everywhere all creatures in which there is the breath of life; everything on earth shall perish. 18 But with you I will establish my covenant; you and your sons, your wife and your sons’ wives, shall go into the ark. 19 Of all other living creatures you shall bring two into the ark, one male and one female, that you may keep them alive with you. 20 Of all kinds of birds, of all kinds of beasts, and of all kinds of creeping things, two of each shall come into the ark with you, to stay alive. 21 Moreover, you are to provide yourself with all the food that is to be eaten, and store it away, that it may serve as provisions for you and for them."

Noah: “Right!..What’s a cubit??”
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This reminds me of the part in the Old Testament where the Lord is telling Moses how to build the ark of the covenanant, the tents, how to worship, etc. I was reading that the other night, and I thought it’s a good think God did not tell me any of this- there is NO WAY that I would have remembered all of that! The good Lord would have had to draw me diagrams, and written down step by step directions.
 
Jesus: Who do people say that I am?

Matthew: Uh, just a minute while I post a new thread on the CAF apologetics forum.

John (peering over Matthew’s shoulder): Yeah, that ChurchMilitant guy knows alot. Let’s see what he says.

Jesus: You may as well just post it on “Ask an Apologist”. They think they know everything! 😃
 
dranzal said:
Jesus: Who do people say that I am?

Matthew: Uh, just a minute while I post a new thread on the CAF apologetics forum.

John (peering over Matthew’s shoulder): Yeah, that ChurchMilitant guy knows alot. Let’s see what he says.

Jesus: You may as well just post it on “Ask an Apologist”. They think they know everything! 😃
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Better yet, lets make it into a poll!
 
Jesus: And who do YOU say that I am?

Peter: (whispering) Pssst…Did we get a response yet on CAF??? (Louder) Just a sec, Jesus.
 
Moneo said:
Hello Andruschak:

Thanks for your OP! And in the same spirit, in case you’ve never seen it, I offer you this one:

*Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and, gathering them around him, he taught them, saying:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Then Simon Peter said, “Are we supposed to know this?”
And Andrew said, “Do we have to write this down?”
And James said, “Is this on the exam?”
And John said, “The other disciples didn’t have to learn this!”
And Phillip said, “Is there an answer guide in the library?”
And Bartholomew said, “What came after poor?”
And Matthew said, “Don’t take the overhead off yet.”
And Jude said, “Master! Matthew’s copying from me!”
And Thomas said, “How long till lunch?”
And James, the son of Alphaeus, said, “Are you gonna count off for spelling?”
And Simon said, “I don’t have a pencil.”
And Judas asked to be excused, and went to the bathroom.

Then one of the Pharisees who was present approached Jesus and asked to see his lesson plan, and he inquired of Jesus, “Where are your anticipatory set and your objectives in the cognitive domain?”

And Jesus wept.*

Having been a teacher for the past 25 years, I adore this take on the Beatitiudes. Says it all.
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
Andruschak said:
Well…I thought it was amusing.😃

And Jesus said unto them, “And whom do you say that I am?”
They replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the
ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context
of our very selfhood revealed.”
And Jesus replied, “What?”

:rolleyes:
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
Pilate: Who are you?

Jesus: Well, you can look on CAF for the poll my apostles created the other day.
 
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