An elderly lady I know told me she doesn't go to confession

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  1. I’m surprised that an elderly woman, as described, would not go AT ALL - if anything, the elderly might have been trained earlier on and prefer some sort of confessional…be it private box or one-on-one with the priest. I don’t think our Faith allows a choice in this matter. ***“Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them. Whose sins you shall retain, they are retained.” ***Those words of Our Lord say it plainly. The Apostles and their priestly descendants were bestowed a gift solely to them - with a purpose - and that means it’s not up to us to personally confess our sins without going to a priest.
  2. As for keeping this to herself, I understand that you wish she’d kept it to herself. Yes, it’s a heavy responsibility that God has given you but I think you must take the opportunity to delicately, privately, speak to her - and/or to her parish priest? I don’t know which/who first. It’s sensitive territory - but so is receiving the Blessed Sacrament without confessing within a reasonable amount of time. I believe Easter Duty requires Penance, as well as Holy Communion, once a year. You may make an enemy of this woman unintentionally. You also don’t know the condition of her soul and have no right to judge. But do you want to place yourself on enemy territory with God by withholding completely?
I think you should explain this to a priest you trust privately - without mentioning names, situation, ages, etc. Ask for advice on this one. He may say it’s a matter of conscience, and you have done pretty much your best. But, unless he gives other advice, you then have the opportunity of encouraging her privately from time to time - without becoming annoying - to go back to confession. Then, it’s out of your hands - but always in God’s Hands. Pray for her.
I did all of this last night to our Deacon. I never told who she was nor said I thought she was a sinner, only that I knew this isn’t what the church wants of us…Our priest would be less inclined to get involved than our Deacon ,I think

I don’t know her well enough to bring this topic up. if she was a close friend it would be different…I tried to do what I could ,I guess now all I can do is to pray for her

It upset me because my Bil is very good friends with her adult kids, who live elsewhere, and my Bil is very active with them in his parish. He trains the servers and does a lot of things around the church. he is not a deacon just a helper…
 
=redrosetea;5066550]
She is a very nice person, and I think a good woman.She always attends mass, but I am worried about her soul…I** guess I should mind my own business,** but I really wish people would keep this stuff to themselves…I really don’t want to know things like this
Perhaps friend our Loving God is testing you. We are to Know, live and SHARE our faith. Ones personal comfort is not the issue. Doing what is RIGHT is:thumbsup:

Dear friend in Christ,
The Holy Spirit places people in our life’s path for a reason.It is always for the possibility of out personal sanctification and always for the Glorification of our God.

Indeed you are to take action.

Always without accusation, always with extreme charity, and always with the help of God.

May I suggest something similar to this approach.

Greet her after Mass, and have a card or note prepared for her. Try not to get right into a debate before she has an opportunity to read and think about what you are sharing.

Be sure this is in private and one to one.

Simply tell her you heard her mention that she no longer goes to Confession. “Are you aware of what the Bible says and what the Church teaches? “

I thought your comment was unusual so I put together a brief summary of what the bible says and what the Church teaches. Please look it over when you can.

Mt.16: “17 And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. 18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death * shall not prevail against it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

John 20: “21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

Romans 10: “9 “because, if you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For man believes with his heart and so is justified, and he confesses with his lips and so is saved.”

1 John 1: “6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not live according to the truth; 7 but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”

James 5: 13 “Is any one among you suffering? Let him pray. Is any cheerful? Let him sing praise. 14 Is any among you sick? Let him call for the elders (Priest) of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; 15 and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed (This saying Confess your sins to a priest.) The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.

1484 “Individual, integral confession and absolution remain the only ordinary way for the faithful to reconcile themselves with God and the Church, unless physical or moral impossibility excuses from this kind of confession.” There are profound reasons for this. Christ is at work in each of the sacraments. He personally addresses every sinner: “My son, your sins are forgiven.” He is the physician tending each one of the sick who need him to cure them. He raises them up and reintegrates them into fraternal communion. Personal confession is thus the form most expressive of reconciliation with God and with the Church.

1456 Confession to a priest is an essential part of the sacrament of Penance: “All mortal sins of which penitents after a diligent self-examination are conscious must be recounted by them in confession, even if they are most secret and have been committed against the last two precepts of the Decalogue; for these sins sometimes wound the soul more grievously and are more dangerous than those which are committed openly.”
When Christ’s faithful strive to confess all the sins that they can remember, they undoubtedly place all of them before the divine mercy for pardon. But those who fail to do so and knowingly withhold some, place nothing before the divine goodness for remission through the mediation of the priest, “for if the sick person is too ashamed to show his wound to the doctor, the medicine cannot heal what it does not know.”
1424 It is called the sacrament of confession, since the disclosure or confession of sins to a priest is an essential element of this sacrament. In a profound sense it is also a “confession” - acknowledgment and praise - of the holiness of God and of his mercy toward sinful man.

It is called the sacrament of forgiveness, since by the priest’s sacramental absolution God grants the penitent “pardon and peace.”

It is called the sacrament of Reconciliation, because it imparts to the sinner the love of God who reconciles: “Be reconciled to God.” He who lives by God’s merciful love is ready to respond to the Lord’s call: “Go; first be reconciled to your brother.”
 
=redrosetea;5066550]
I didn’t know what to say to her, she wasn’t asking for advice…Someone else chimed in we confess our sins in the Our Father and in the confetior (sp)…I mumbles something like, but that doesn’t give you absolution
All Mortal sins MUST be Confessed, or we send ourselves to hell!

We must know our faith, live our faith, and SHARE our Faith.

Perhaps friend, God wishs to us you. Your comfort is not the issue. Sharing The TRUTH is!

Mass, the Confietor, even the Eucharist ONLY, ONLY remove Veniel sin. PERIOD!

Dear friend in Christ,
The Holy Spirit places people in our life’s path for a reason.It is always for the possibility of out personal sanctification and always for the Glorification of our God.

Indeed you are to take action.

Always without accusation, always with extreme charity, and always with the help of God.

May I suggest something similar to this approach.

Greet her after Mass, and have a card or note prepared for her. Try not to get right into a debate before she has an opportunity to read and think about what you are sharing.

Be sure this is in private and one to one.

Simply tell her you heard her mention that she no longer goes to Confession. “Are you aware of what the Bible says and what the Church teaches? “

I thought your comment was unusual so I put together a brief summary of what the bible says and what the Church teaches. Please look it over when you can.

Mt.16: “17 And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. 18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death * shall not prevail against it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

John 20: “21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

Romans 10: “9 “because, if you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For man believes with his heart and so is justified, and he confesses with his lips and so is saved.”

1 John 1: “6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not live according to the truth; 7 but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”

James 5: 13 “Is any one among you suffering? Let him pray. Is any cheerful? Let him sing praise. 14 Is any among you sick? Let him call for the elders (Priest) of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; 15 and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed (This saying Confess your sins to a priest.) The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.

1484 “Individual, integral confession and absolution remain the only ordinary way for the faithful to reconcile themselves with God and the Church, unless physical or moral impossibility excuses from this kind of confession.” There are profound reasons for this. Christ is at work in each of the sacraments. He personally addresses every sinner: “My son, your sins are forgiven.” He is the physician tending each one of the sick who need him to cure them. He raises them up and reintegrates them into fraternal communion. Personal confession is thus the form most expressive of reconciliation with God and with the Church.

1456 Confession to a priest is an essential part of the sacrament of Penance: “All mortal sins of which penitents after a diligent self-examination are conscious must be recounted by them in confession, even if they are most secret and have been committed against the last two precepts of the Decalogue; for these sins sometimes wound the soul more grievously and are more dangerous than those which are committed openly.”
When Christ’s faithful strive to confess all the sins that they can remember, they undoubtedly place all of them before the divine mercy for pardon. But those who fail to do so and knowingly withhold some, place nothing before the divine goodness for remission through the mediation of the priest, “for if the sick person is too ashamed to show his wound to the doctor, the medicine cannot heal what it does not know.”
1424 It is called the sacrament of confession, since the disclosure or confession of sins to a priest is an essential element of this sacrament. In a profound sense it is also a “confession” - acknowledgment and praise - of the holiness of God and of his mercy toward sinful man.

It is called the sacrament of forgiveness, since by the priest’s sacramental absolution God grants the penitent “pardon and peace.”

It is called the sacrament of Reconciliation, because it imparts to the sinner the love of God who reconciles: “Be reconciled to God.” He who lives by God’s merciful love is ready to respond to the Lord’s call: “Go; first be reconciled to your brother.”
 
I am so amazed at the understanding that some Catholics have as to the necessity to go to Confession regularly. There are posters on other threads who are ADAMANT that it is not necessary to go to Confession unless one has a mortal sin on their soul. I do not understand at all their becoming so furious at those of us who favor frequent Confession. What are they afraid of?🤷

I am in sympathy with the OP over his hesitancy as to what to do about his fellow parishioner. Not sure I like the “elderly” tag and thinking that because she is ‘70’ she might have a mental problem. I am well over the ‘70’ age and don’t (yet) have a mental problem.

But you may be right in this case because she is of an age where she would have been taught in Catholic school (as I was) that frequent Confession was the way to spiritual growth and by confessing to a Priest ALL sins we would grow less attached to our sins and thus grow in holiness. And, of course, we receive absolution from the Priest.

I think it is time for more Priests to preach about the necessity of frequent Confession. One cannot receive so many blessings and indulgences when one does not go to Confession - Plenary Indulgences - one of the conditions is Confession several days before or after the performance of the prescribed work; also the devotions of First Friday - First Saturday require Confession.

Sorry, off track - go to your Priest and ask him for assistance.:blessyou:
 
No she never mentioned it, and I doubt that I can say anything to dissuade her…She also grumbled about the corpus on the cross and kneeling during the mass
Hmm sounds as if she might have fallen under the influence of a televangelist. Invite her to watch some good catechetical videos with during the time she would otherwise spend watching Pastor Hagee. Then ask her to pray with you.

If she is truly contrite then there is hope for her, but as most Catholics would say, would you rather count on the certainty of sacramental absolution, or gamble that your private act of contrition will be adjudged “perfect?”
 
I am so amazed at the understanding that some Catholics have as to the necessity to go to Confession regularly. There are posters on other threads who are ADAMANT that it is not necessary to go to Confession unless one has a mortal sin on their soul. I do not understand at all their becoming so furious at those of us who favor frequent Confession. What are they afraid of?🤷 (QUOTE)

Well, as to some posters keeping on repeating that confession is not necessary unless mortal sin has been committed, this will be because to say otherwise is not true, and we all have the right and duty to correct falsehoods, and to be 'adamant ’ in so doing.

‘their becoming so furious’ - an exaggeration, surely? Who has said they are furious? Exasperated at having the falsehood put about so often, yes, when Canon Law has been quoted ad nauseam to prove it is a falsehood. But being furious over people finding frequent confession to be helpful for them personally? I don’t think so.
 
Well personally I don’t know of anyone that can go for over 30 years without sinning except for Christ and the BVM
Well, yes, I’m sure we’d all agree on that.

But we have to make a distinction between mortal and venial sins.
 
I have posted about this before, but a Priest told me as a child waiting in line to go into the Church for my first communion that I didn’t have to go to confession. That I could pray and ask forgiveness from God. I was going to get out of line…because I hadn’t went to confession that day before my first communion. That’s when Father Wing explained to me that I didn’t have to go. A lot of other children heard this as well.

Of course I’ve been to confession over the years since that day…but now Our Church doesn’t have Confessinals any longer and hasn’t had them for years. We have been told that if a person Want’s to go to confession, they need to make an appointment with the Priest. And do a Face to Face. There is no longer Confession before Mass…and no longer Confessional boxes…

I do believe a lot of Catholics have “Backed Away” from Confession because a lot of the Chruchs have taken out the Confessional Booths. And now we need to make an appointment? What happened to Confessional Hearings in the Booths before Mass every week?

Sad but True a lot of Catholics are being taught we can Confess our sins to God. I know I am one of them that was taught that!
 
=adelore;5077634]I have posted about this before, but a Priest told me as a child waiting in line to go into the Church for my first communion that I didn’t have to go to confession. That I could pray and ask forgiveness from God. I was going to get out of line…because I hadn’t went to confession that day before my first communion. That’s when Father Wing explained to me that I didn’t have to go. A lot of other children heard this as well.
Of course I’ve been to confession over the years since that day…but now Our Church doesn’t have Confessinals any longer and hasn’t had them for years. We have been told that if a person Want’s to go to confession, they need to make an appointment with the Priest. And do a Face to Face. There is no longer Confession before Mass…and no longer Confessional boxes…
I do believe a lot of Catholics have “Backed Away” from Confession because a lot of the Chruchs have taken out the Confessional Booths. And now we need to make an appointment? What happened to Confessional Hearings in the Booths before Mass every week?
Sad but True a lot of Catholics are being taught we can Confess our sins to God. I know I am one of them that was taught that!
Friend somebody lied to you, perhaps not knowing any better, but neverthe less a lie!

**
Our Catecheism teaches:**
1484 “Individual, integral confession and absolution remain the only ordinary way for the faithful to reconcile themselves with God and the Church, unless physical or moral impossibility excuses from this kind of confession.” There are profound reasons for this. Christ is at work in each of the sacraments. He personally addresses every sinner: “My son, your sins are forgiven.” He is the physician tending each one of the sick who need him to cure them. He raises them up and reintegrates them into fraternal communion. Personal confession is thus the form most expressive of reconciliation with God and with the Church."

1456 Confession to a priest is an essential part of the sacrament of Penance: “All mortal sins of which penitents after a diligent self-examination are conscious must be recounted by them in confession, even if they are most secret and have been committed against the last two precepts of the Decalogue; for these sins sometimes wound the soul more grievously and are more dangerous than those which are committed openly.”

Mt. 16:19 I (Jesus) will give you (Peter) the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

Rom. 10: " 9 because, if you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

Jn. 20: "21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23* If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”**
 
I thought perhaps she meant she doesn’t go one on one , but to a communal penance…She said she never goes any more she doesn’t believe in it

I didn’t know what to say to her, she wasn’t asking for advice…Someone else chimed in we confess our sins in the Our Father and in the confetior (sp)…I mumbles something like, but that doesn’t give you absolution

She is a very nice person, and I think a good woman.She always attends mass, but I am worried about her soul…I guess I should mind my own business, but I really wish people would keep this stuff to themselves…I really don’t want to know things like this
How sad that the importance of the sacrament of penance is not being used…

The sacrament of penance is an inexhaustable source of renewable grace!!

It like saying, “Lord grant me the grace to do this and that…or to resist this or that temptation…or the grace to do your will”

Ask any exorcist, anyone at all which is more effective against the wickedness and snares of the devil and his demons !

Without fail every exorcist priest will tell you that the most effective means of combating the evil one is the sacrament of penance.
 
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