I hope the Ho;y Spirit leads you to a Parish that will give you some real feeling fo rthe Faith. Of course, Parishes vary as Pastors vary.
I’ll tell you a funny thing as a convert.
I never went to a Mass. Well, when I was a kid I went with a friend’s family, but I was like, 6.
So, I was in my mid-40s and felt called. I enter RCIA and I’m there about three weeks when I tell the director I’ve never actually set foot inside the church. Or gone to a Mass. She didn’t even blink, she took me to Mass a couple times and then I was fine to go on my own.
So, how could I possibly have entered RCIA in this situation? I just had to. I was called, it was bizarre, it had been going on for three years. I had to be Catholic.
I didn’t know one single thing about the Church. I just found the closest Parish, walked in and said, “How do get to be Catholic?” and they signed me up. They didn’t ask, you see. RCIA was starting in two weeks.
It was a God thing.
Know this: whatever else goes on with the fractions and factions and all - this is the real deal. That’s really Jesus. This is the ancient repository of the Deposit of Faith. The Sacraments are exactly as they are described. The Holy Spirit is alive and well and breathing through the Church.
People are flawed and imperfect. The Mystical Body of Christ is… well, you’ll see.