An issue of safety--should I make a big deal out of this?

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Do not take this lightly, OP!
My daughter had a stalker several years ago when she was 16. It was a grown man. We called the police but to no avail. Even though we knew the man, they said they could do nothing unless they caught him on our property. We ended up holding him at gunpoint when he broke in the house. Boy, was I glad my husband is ex-military and knew how to handle a gun!
We moved out of the area quickly and put my daughter with my parents in another state before the man could come back. We didn’t take any chances with our daughter’s life and happiness.
Do you have a gun? Believe me, sometimes a gun is necessary.
 
Well, our floor squeaks, so I know where everyone is all the time anyway. 🙂

What really is the threat, and how are you countering it? That’s the way to decide what to do.

Threats: Home invasion, assult, burglary, kidnapping, fire, sickness, bad dreams.

Each of these has a likelihood for you in your neighborhood. Take the appropriate countermeasure for your neighborhood.

Don’t spend time and money countering a threat that doesn’t have a likelihood of happening to you, but take the appropriate action to prevent/mitigate/handle the threats that are possible.
 
I vote for a dog. It doesn’t have a be a big dog which can physically protect the children – a small yappy dog can be a very good deterrent because they make so much noise when they hear something outside. Small dogs aren’t much work and don’t cost much to feed.

And for Pete’s sake, please keep the windows covered and locked if you can’t move the child upstairs.

Good luck and God bless.
 
Do not take this lightly, OP!
My daughter had a stalker several years ago when she was 16. It was a grown man. We called the police but to no avail. Even though we knew the man, they said they could do nothing unless they caught him on our property. **We ended up holding him at gunpoint when he broke in the house. Boy, was I glad my husband is ex-military and knew how to handle a gun!
We moved out of the area quickly and put my daughter with my parents in another state before the man could come back. We didn’t take any chances with our daughter’s life and happiness.
Do you have a gun? Believe me, sometimes a gun is necessary./**QUOTE]
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That is just AMAZING! I’m so glad you guys took all the right steps to protect your child. Bravo!
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leonie said:
A five year old girl in our homeschool group was raped by an intruder (an illegal immigrant). He broke in the back door. The mom and an older brother caught and held him until the police arrived.

A couple months ago, a lady told me that a six year old was snatched from a good neighborhood in Chicago. In fact, she was taken from her own fenced in yard. The girl was released unharmed. The police think that the kidnapper was working up his nerve to follow through with an attack. The next little girl will probably not be so lucky.

Our seven year old sleeps in a front bedroom with two old windows. Plus, the front door is only five feet from her room. We sleep upstairs in an attic bedroom. I want to either move her upstairs and move us into the front room. Or…I want to get a big dog. It’s always bothered me to have her in the front bedroom, but with recent events,** I’m feeling stronger about it**.

My dh, though, doesn’t want to move. He likes having a room away from the hustle and bustle of the kids. Plus, he likes having our own bathroom.( Me, too). He doesn’t want a dog because we don’t have a fenced yard. So, it will be a hassle to take care of a dog.

He usually just ignores me when I have strong ideas about the family that he doesn’t agree with. Eventually, I just give up out of frustration.

Is this an issue I should stand strong on?
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Leonie, I have just finished reading “Protecting the Gift” by Gavin de Becker, for the second time. It’s that good & I want to try to memorize as much as I can before it goes back to the library.

I urge you (and dh) in the strongest possible way to check it out of your library and read it, asap.

I am not going to tell you what you should do. Instead, I am just going to quote from him:
…Intuition communicates with different people in different ways, sending any of the following messengers:
Nagging feelings
Persistent thoughts
Dark humor
Anxiety
Curiosity
Hunches
Gut feelings
Doubt
Hesitation
Suspicion
Apprehension
Fear
(from chapter 2: “Intuition–The Source of Safety”, p.26)
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and
The Signs of Denial:
Rationalization
Justification
Minimization
Excuse-making
Refusal
(p.28)
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leonie said:
A five year old girl in our homeschool group was raped by an intruder (an illegal immigrant). He broke in the back door. The mom and an older brother caught and held him until the police arrived.

A couple months ago, a lady told me that a six year old was snatched from a good neighborhood in Chicago. In fact, she was taken from her own fenced in yard. The girl was released unharmed. The police think that the kidnapper was working up his nerve to follow through with an attack. The next little girl will probably not be so lucky.

Our seven year old sleeps in a front bedroom with two old windows. Plus, the front door is only five feet from her room. We sleep upstairs in an attic bedroom. I want to either move her upstairs and move us into the front room. Or…I want to get a big dog. It’s always bothered me to have her in the front bedroom, but with recent events, I’m feeling stronger about it.

My dh, though, doesn’t want to move. He likes having a room away from the hustle and bustle of the kids. Plus, he likes having our own bathroom.( Me, too). He doesn’t want a dog because we don’t have a fenced yard. So, it will be a hassle to take care of a dog.

He usually just ignores me when I have strong ideas about the family that he doesn’t agree with. Eventually, I just give up out of frustration.

Is this an issue I should stand strong on?
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I believe your child should be moved, you should get a dog, and you should purchase a firearm and your husband and you should have some modicum of training in it’s use.
 
My dad stuck an NRA sticker on their front window. I’m not even sure if he owns a gun, I’ve never seen one at their house.But it may give intruders second thoughts.
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I’d also go with alarm stickers. We have those on our most visable windows. I saw a program several years back where it said most criminals would rather not chance it if the house has such a sticker when there are so many that don’t. A beware of dog sign even if you don’t have one would be great too.
alarmsticker.com/
 
I’m all for a gun, but in this senario it wouldn’t necessarily do a lot of good since a kidnapper could get her and you may never even awaken.

There is a security film you can get for your glass that makes the glass pretty much indestructible. An intruder woulnd’t be able to get through the windows. I would go for that before getting a dog.

I’ve never liked the idea of children being on a different floor from my and DH. Stand firm in your instincts.
 
MooCowSteph said:
I’m all for a gun, but in this senario it wouldn’t necessarily do a lot of good since a kidnapper could get her and you may never even awaken.

There is a security film you can get for your glass that makes the glass pretty much indestructible. An intruder woulnd’t be able to get through the windows. I would go for that before getting a dog.

I’ve never liked the idea of children being on a different floor from my and DH. Stand firm in your instincts.
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I hear that window film stuff is AWESOME! I want to get some for our windows and our big glass door…someday…
 
You’ve been given a lot of good advice, and I’m just going to say that God gave us mothers’ instincts to protect our children. For goodness sakes, use that gift. If you instincts tell you to move her and secure your house, by all means do it. Maybe move to a better neighborhood, too?
 
Thanks for all the advice. To clarify, we live in an average neighborhood. But, so did the family that had their daughter raped. 😦

Our house has some limitations. We can’t actually have everyone on the same floor. We have two downstairs bedrooms and one attic bedroom. We have six kids. Our large downstairs bedroom hosts the four boys. And the front bedroom hosts our seven year old. Our silly 12 year old daughter has carved out a space in the basement, but she’ll move back upstairs in the winter. Our basement isn’t a pleasant place.

I’m pretty sure that my dh wouldn’t consent to trading rooms, so I think I’m going to start sleeping on the couch. I am pushing for the dog. My dh isn’t a selfish guy–he just doesn’t seem to have the same fears for our personal safety like I do. He thinks I’m over reacting to some shocking news. One of my more sane friends agrees with him, so maybe I am. She said, “what are the odds?”

As for guns, we have rifles and shotguns–but they are in a gun safe unloaded. So, it’s not really practical to rely on them for safety.

I don’t think we can do alarms. As for upgrading the doors and windows–I’ve seen how easy it is to break into houses and I don’t think that this expense is worth it.

I’m beginning to think the dog idea is the best.
 
**I agree, go with getting a dog. They will bark whether they are inside or outside to alert you to any suspicious activity.

We just got rid of our dog, DS we found out is allergic. Let me tell you, I miss that protection more than anything!!! We have an alarm but still not the same as having a dog. A dog alerts you before an intruder enters, an alarm doesn’t…

Also, our alarm is pretty much useless—the reason I say this is because it didn’t come w/ any glass breaks for the windows. Just the doors are all armed. So basically any intruder could break in one of our windows and get in w/ out us knowing it. Or, they could break in a basement window and we would definitely never know it. We do have a motion sensor but we can’t set that to be armed when we are home incase one of the kids gets up and sets it off. So basically, I just wish I still had my dog. 😦 Anyone ever have any luck w/ a child outgrowing allergies to pets? :confused: (don’t mean to derail the thread but just curious). Also DH works nights so it can get creepy out here in the boonies, we have a few neighbors but only one that I would trust the rest I could see being an intruder and I am not kidding when I say that.:eek: **
 
**What is this window film you all are talking about? I have never heard of it before???

Also, this is totally off topic but here goes: our master bedroom is on the main floor, kids bedrooms are all upstairs. Piece of advice for all parents w/ kids on the upstairs----put a gate up at the top of the steps. Why you ask? Because my MIL just knew a family this past summer that the husband slept walked (had an upstairs bedroom) and he fell down the stairs, broke his neck and died. 😦 So now we are investing in a very good gate that will securely fit at the tops of steps. Just wanted to let everyone think about investing in that. **
 
You could actually get glass break sensors for your windows and wire them into your existing alarm system. If you know how to run wires, you could actually install them yourself, without having a professional come and do it. As electrical work goes, this is a pretty easy task.
mamacita said:
**
Also, our alarm is pretty much useless—the reason I say this is because it didn’t come w/ any glass breaks for the windows. Just the doors are all armed. So basically any intruder could break in one of our windows and get in w/ out us knowing it. Or, they could break in a basement window and we would definitely never know it. **
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mamacita said:
**What is this window film you all are talking about? I have never heard of it before??? **
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Here’s one site. There are also other companies who sell similar stuff under different names.
 
ack said:
You could actually get glass break sensors for your windows and wire them into your existing alarm system. If you know how to run wires, you could actually install them yourself, without having a professional come and do it. As electrical work goes, this is a pretty easy task.
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I am what you could call “electrically challenged” (I just made that one up:D ) DH wouldn’t be able to do it either. Maybe we will just have to pay to have it done.
 
Remember if a criminal can’t shatter a window I would bet the fire department (or yourself) can’t either.
 
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