An open letter to a Young woman on the Threshold of the Cloister

[goforgoal]

An open letter to a Young woman on the Threshold of the Cloister

Dear Mary,
So you have taken all the preliminary steps toward answering those insistent questions in your heart. Is God calling you to a life of worshipful love in the cloister? Are you invited to be a Fransican penitent giving to all the people of God an example of joyous penitence, as Vatican II described the life of contemplative nuns in its document on the religious life? Are you finding yourself drawn to make the same conclusion that Saint Therese of Lisieux did regarding the service of all mankind: “In the heart of my Mother the Church, I will be love!” ?

You want to know–for sure, you say. I can appreciate that. But, Mary, remember that what we really want to be sure about is less exactly where we are going or exactly how we are going to get there than who it we are following. I am thinking about the Scriptural response to vocation.

If you read Matthew 4:18-20, you will see that vocation and response are quite a bit more starkly simple than some counselors would have it. Peter and Andrew were busy and successful fishermen. They were educated and equipped to catch fish. They seemed happy enough. But then Christ walked along the shore–of the lake of their hearts. And He looked at them. They looked back. He said: “Follow me.” They got up, and followed Him. You will notice that they did not say: “Follow you, where?” Nor: “We are fishermen, not preachers.” Not: “What are your plans, and how is everything going to turn out?” Still less did they question Him about how their personalities were going to be fulfilled if they followed Him.

You see, Mary, when you really are looking at Christ, you do not think about questions like that. Not anymore than a woman in love with the man who is making her a proposal of marriage replies with considerations about life insurance policies and color TVs, or tells him that he is very attractive but she does not want to leave home. His love will be her fulfillment. Any women knows that to be chosen and cherished is her best security. And you strike me as a live young woman.

 

[goforgoal]

And do read Matthew 9:9. Here is classicism of a Greek drama but with the briefest script ever written. It takes one verse of Scripture to describe one of the most dramatic calls and responses ever known. When you experience that feeling, “Oh, it could never be for me!”, remember that it is not just likely that many of us would have selected a tax collector as a bright prospect for Jesus’ first novitiate. You know, Mary, Matthew was living a comfortable life. His job was very specifically Lucrative. Security. Ease. Does it strike you that Matthew does not say a word about all he is giving up to follow Christ, that he doesn’t even heave a single sigh?

It saddens me when a young woman talks just too much about what she might have to give up. Again I say, that is not my language of love. And following Christ is a matter of love. When you are in love, you want only to be with the loved one and share whatever lot is his. If I am back to love again, it is because that is the whole explanation of what is stirring in your heart. Oh yes, there is pain in partings, pinch of material surrenders, but that is merely incidental to the wonder of being loved. We do not love our parents less for leaving them to enter cloister any more than a woman entering into marriage does in leaving her family to live perhaps at the other end of the world because that is where her husband is. “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife.” (Gn.2:24), we are reminded in Genesis concerning earthly marriage. And to cling to God if He calls us into His cloistering love, we have to do the same. In Matthew 4:22, we are notified that James and John got up, “and immediately they left their boats and their father and followed him.” Family, present concerns. Christ had looked at them. And they looked back. They got up and followed Him. That’s what a religious vocation is, Mary.

But, back to Matthew himself. He knew better that some of us do, what is an appropriate response to being called by Christ to follow Him in a highly specialized and demanding way of life. He didn’t grumble. He celebrated. He arranged a party (cf. Mt. 9:10)

Do I hear you say anything: “But they knew they were called. Our Lord stood right there and looked at them.” Yes, He did, Mary. But there is no guarantee that those He looks at will respond to His summons. Like any normal person, you would like Christ to stand right in front of you and say: “Follow me into the cloister. I am inviting you,–I myself.” You think there would be no possibility of a mistake then.

Do you remember the rich young man? (cf. Mt.19:16-22)

He had just what you muse on. Christ stood there, physically, before him. It was Jesus’ own human voice that said: “Come, follow me.” (Mt.19:21). No doubt about that vocation. But the rich man chose not to follow. God has elected to circumscribe His own omnipotence with our free will. And each of us can say either “yes” or “no” to God when He calls. Just as the rich young man turned away because he thought it was too much of a sacrifice to give up all that he possessed, so James and John might have protested that they could not leave their father. Or Peter and Andrew explained that they were not suited for the life of itinerant preaching.

Your “yes” or your “no” are yours, Mary. I am not going to make your decision for you now, be sure. And if we do receive you to enter, I am not going to make them for you later on, either. I’ll pray for you, help you, answer your questions, and love you. But, your life is your own. Our possible receiving of you now to enter or later to become a novice and then a professed junior sister and finally a perpetually vowed nun would amount only to agreeing with a decision you would already have made. Sometimes I would have to disagree with the decision made. Some have wanted to enter, but I could not agree that they were called to our way of life. A few others I have felt were called, but they could not bring themselves to a firm decision. and I was not about to make it for them.

Without doubt some people are asking you questions, too. Why you? Why waste your life in the cloister? Why bury your talents? Are others worrying that you won’t “be fulfilled?”
I touch on that above: and it does make me smile, Mary. The saints were the most fulfilled persons in history, and you may be sure that they never gave a thought to it. Imagine Saint Franis and Saint Claire worrying about whether their personalities were being fulfilled!
I can hear you laugh. And I love the sound of it!

Ours is no easy life, Mary. But for one who is called to it, it is a marvelously rewarding life. Take it from one who knows. And you impress me as a someone wanting a challenge, not an easy chair. We can offer you a poor little room, plain food, long hours, and no vacations. There is no TV. There is no salary, no retirement plan except that which is stored up for you in heaven. And I am serious even as I smile.

So, Mary, pray and ponder yet a while. If Christ is looking at you and saying: “Come, follow me into the cloister,” you can always look away; but you cannot pretend that you don’t feel His eyes upon you. May you lock eyes with Him, Mary. God bless you.

Devotedly yours, in Jesus and Mary

Mother Abbess

Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Bible copyright 1970,1986, and 1991 by Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, 3211 Fourth Street, N.E., Washington, D.C. 20017-1194 and are used with permission. All rights reserved.

Copyright 1993 by the Poor Claire Federation of Mary Immaculate in the United States of America.

Mother M. Dolores, P.C.C., abbess

Monastery of Poor Clares

3501 Rocky River Drive
Cleveland, OH 44111-2998

Phone: (216) 941-2820

poorclare.org/usa.html#cleveland

 

[LilFranciscan25]

What an indescribably beautiful message!!! Mother Dolores has answered several of my burning questions about the cloister. I can’t thank you enough for posting this here and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

I have fought the desire again and again to become a cloistered religious, and each time, I thought of several different questions…

How will my family cope?
Am I wasting my God-given talents?
I love nursing too much so how can I give that up?

All of these matter little in the course of discernment. I do feel the pressing need to check out cloistered orders more than visiting active orders. In the course of a year and a half, I’ve had nothing but a great desire to give myself wholly to God, but the weak part of me says it’s only for those who have no talents and who want to hide themselves away and how could I ever do that? Of course, I know that is not true. I ache to become like St. Therese–tiny, small, and insignificant–praying for the needs of the world in a place where distractions are very little. Silence is such a wonderful gift. I find God in silence, and I long to be with Him, enclosed in the Tabernacle, for only Him to see.

If He calls me, I will listen. The cloistered life is a great gift for those who are called. It is not for the faint of heart, nor for those who are looking for an escape from the modern life. It’s for those who desire a challenge (there will be many!) and a way to show God that they would give everything up to be united even closer to Him. Everything in the cloister is given to God. It is the lifeblood of the Church. If He is calling any of you, you would do well to accept this amazing gift and listen to Him! You will NOT be disappointed!

 

[goforgoal]

I’m glad the letter was helpful although I shouldn’t take any credit for it. Our Lord, Our Blessed Mother, and of course Mother Dolores deserves all the credit.

Mother Dolores’ letter has helped me out and has answered so many questions, doubts, and so forth also. The “letter” is actually from a book. I actually gave the book to my local Parish.

I still believe that the Lord is calling me to religious life, calling me to cloistered, calling me to be a Carmelite Nun.

God bless,
goforgoal