And I'm doing it again

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I wish I could go to adoration, but I live in the country, and the nearest church is a very long drive. Just making it to Sunday mass is a miracle some weeks!

It isn’t even just those from other denominations that make me feel inadequate; some of the more…pious Catholics around make me feel like a horrible sinner for not taking the same stance on issues as they do. I don’t think they INTEND for this this happen, but that’s how it clicks in my mind. Heaven help me when I walk into a thread about film or literature :eek: I leave it feeling like I must be already damned for enjoying a Saturday trip to the movies.

I think I’m scrupulous. or I’m just trying to convince myself I’m scrupulous. or something.
 
shondrea said:
I wish I could go to adoration, but I live in the country, and the nearest church is a very long drive. Just making it to Sunday mass is a miracle some weeks!

It isn’t even just those from other denominations that make me feel inadequate; some of the more…pious Catholics around make me feel like a horrible sinner for not taking the same stance on issues as they do. I don’t think they INTEND for this this happen, but that’s how it clicks in my mind. Heaven help me when I walk into a thread about film or literature :eek: I leave it feeling like I must be already damned for enjoying a Saturday trip to the movies.

I think I’m scrupulous. or I’m just trying to convince myself I’m scrupulous. or something.
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I totally understand. If it is impossible for you to visit a church or chapel to pray, though, do remember that Christ is always with you, even when you do not have the Eucharistic presence to remind you. Perhaps you can find a spiritual director who might help you unwind some of your anxieties and develop a prayer meditation that helps you to calm yourself and enter into His presence interiorly wherever you are.

I know how hard it can be. It is a struggle to live according to the Catholic faith, wherever or whoever you are. It is not an easy path. I often feel as you do, that there could be no more horrible a sinner than me. But the fact is that ALL of us are sinners. If your ideas about how to live the faith, ho w you should vote, how you should practice your spirituality, etc. are challenged, take a deep breath and relax first. Then take the ideas to prayer. The Church allows for a wide variance of understanding on a number of things. You do not necessarily need to agree with those around you on everything.

It does not hurt to put your own answers to the test in light of Church teachings and the Bible in a spirit of prayer, but you should not let yourself get too anxious about it. Talk to your priests, deacons, look things up in the catechism and on CAF… Make sure you are well informed, and act with the Holy Spirit’s guidance as you look to gain better understanding. Sometimes I find I must change my ideas. Other times I conclude that those challenging me are wrong. And sometimes I am not able to come up with an answer and have to just leave the question open for the time being. We must continually learn and discern.

But remember always… you are by no means alone. We are all in the same boat. We are all imperfect, human, sinful, and in need of God’s grace! You cannot measure yourself against another, as you do not know their hearts, the secrets they keep, and so on. Nor will you be judged according to how well those around you did.

Keep your eyes on Him! Know He loves you no matter what your shortcomings. And keep working to draw close to Him and better live the Gospel! This is what we are all called to.

Peace,

Debra
 
And btw–I forgot to mention it IS ok to have social time and a little fun on occasion! going to the movies is ok, though you might want to be a little discriminating about which movies you choose. I think someone else already said Garbage In = Garbage Out? I usually avoid movies that I know in advance will tear down my faith. Secular entertainment, however, is by no means banned by the Church.
 
Thank you so much for the advice; I know it’s wonderful advice, now I just have to beat my OCD down with a shovel and take it 👍

There’s a monthly activity at a local parish in the next town called Theology on Tap, and I was invited to attend this month. This month’s subject is Grill the Priest, where you can ask the father ANYTHING you can think of regarding Catholicism…I have a short list XD Course, I need to just pick what I think is the most pressing, but it goes to show how many ways I can think I’m sinning, even when logically, I’m not.

I’ve also finally managed to find a rosary in this house that wasn’t broken, and I plan to reteach myself how to pray a rosary. Even when I’m not praying it, I find it sooo peaceful just to hold it while I’m reading or on the computer. It’s soothing.

Oh, I know all about garbage. I use to be quite a conesier of garbage, the extremely sexual sort 😊 . But once I cut that out, my tastes are actually surprisingly tame for a 19 year old. My best friend and I just got done cooing over Ponyo and the Princess and the Frog. I greatly dislike most modern comedies; it’s all sexual humor and crude, dirty jokes and I hate them. When I do go for an adult movie, I love tearjerkers, drama. The heartbreak of war, political revolution, rediscovering mother-daughter bonds, historical fiction…something that will make me THINK.

But just like all things, even if I KNOW secular fiction isn’t a sin, aaall it takes is one person’s opinion to get me anxious again. 🤷
 
You might find it helpful to ask advice from a physician as well? There are medications that can help with the affliction of extreme anxiety. aside from that, you can only keep reminding yourself of what you know to be true. Chant it under your breath like a mantra if you have to. 🙂
 
I actually am soon to be scheduling an appt with a therapist. Religion isn’t the only thing I obsess over unendingly.
 
It’s always a good idea to explore all reasonable options available to you in dealing with the problems you are facing. May God bless you as you struggle with all of this. You will be in my prayers. 🙂

May His peace be yours,

Debra
 
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