...and it has been decades since my last confession

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22 years in fact.
Where would I start? (How much time would the priest have?)
Is it necessary to recount every instance of sin, or is it sufficient to say, “I’ve done [this sin] on many occasions.”?
Obviously I should seek forgiveness for mortal sins, but what about lesser sins, or even actions of dubious sinfulness?
Not to be flippant, but should I make a few appointments on consecutive Sundays, to clear the back-log?
What have other long-time non-repenters done in this case? (without getting personal, of course)
 
You are not the first one and you will not be the last one to wait 22 years. Just rejoice that you are going to do it. My suggestion is to call the priest and make an appointment and let him know that it has been decades. The first confession after such a long period of time can be quite different from a regular/periodic confession. Just trust in what the priest suggests. God does not care about the details, he already knows everything you did. God wants you to understand that you did wrong and that you are sorry for having offended him, his mercy is infinite. The detailed list of sins is required by the Church not because God needs it, but because it is good for us; however the priest has pastoral flexibility on how to direct a successful confession…

One confession is enough for the absolution of all of your sins. However, after the first one it would be a good idea to keep going on a periodic base and also every time you commit a mortal sin.
 
Hi,

I went back to confession after being away for a very long length of time. Since there was no way to determine the number of times I did something–I just went down the list of the Ten Commandments and determined where I had frequently and egregiously offended God.–Guess what, I grossly violated all 10 of the commandments–didn’t exactly murder anyone physically but I did spiritually and emotionally with my thoughts and actions.

After being away a certain length of time, it is almost impossible to calculate the number of times you have committed a certain sin. The only exception was that I knew how many men I had commited sins with–so I gave a count on that one. But for the other ones, there was no way to know.

For example, I said I’ve missed Mass more times than I can count; I never put God first in my life–never prayed and always found more important things to do on Sunday and every day of the week, such as exercising, watching tv, sleeping etc.

Now I didn’t go back and calculate every Sunday I missed Mass because there was no way I could have.

I also couldn’t remember the number of times I took the Lord’s name in vain. I just knew that I had done it A LOT.

Then for example, I just told the priest that I was rude and horrible and angry with my parents and had seriously violated the Fourth Commandment–I didn’t tell him it has been almost every day of my life for 7 years.

It will also depend on the priest you go to for your Confession my priest didn’t have a problem with it. AND for some odd reason, it only took ten minutes–I thought I was going to need an hour.
 
22 years is the exact length of time I waited between Confessions, I returned to the sacrament of Penance 6 weeks ago. I was staggered that it didn’t take forever, and I am certainly no saint! I found the priest very helpful, and he cheefully told me not to wait as long between confessions again! Concentrate on the mortal sins, and, unless you can remember the exact number of times each sin was committed, there is little point in saying you do, “a few times”, “many times” or “almost constantly”, give an accurate picture.

As has already been suggested, the Ten Commandments is an excellent place to start and helps you to focus. There are also lots of useful guides online to preparing for confession using the Ten Commandments as a guide.

If you forget something, start your next confession with that. As long as your confession is honest and as full as you can honsetly recollect, you will be absolved from all your sins.

God Bless
x
 
I cannot really add anything much more than the previous posters have suggested, but I just wanted you to know that I am thrilled and excited to hear that you are going back! It is never too late, as long as you are truly sorry. I know you may be nervous about it, but you are never alone. The saints are rejoicing! The Church needs more of her membes to do the right thing, and go back to the Sacrament of Reconciliation! May Jesus empty His mercy on you and may you be washed in the ocean of His grace!
 
Heath_Bar said:
I cannot really add anything much more than the previous posters have suggested, but I just wanted you to know that I am thrilled and excited to hear that you are going back! It is never too late, as long as you are truly sorry. I know you may be nervous about it, but you are never alone. The saints are rejoicing! The Church needs more of her membes to do the right thing, and go back to the Sacrament of Reconciliation! May Jesus empty His mercy on you and may you be washed in the ocean of His grace!
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I love this post…

You are never alone and the Saints are rejoicing indeed!
 
I was also away from Confession for a long time.

During the time I was away, I lived with someone. 😊

During my Confession, I said something like, I lived with a man for two years with all that that entails. 😊 The priest asked a couple of questions and we moved on. Trying to count up all the sins that living with someone entailed would have taken me months, then another week to say it.

I would suggest getting an overview of your life for the past 22 years. Then at your appointment, going over that. Using the Ten Commandments is a really good start. 👍
 
I am so happy for all of you who have returned after all those years and for those of you who are anxious about returning to confession. The very desire that you have to go to confession is a good sign. If I could ask a small favor of you all. In thanksgiving for the graces of conversion that you have received, please say a little prayer for our oldest son who is having some tremendous temptations against the faith. He says he remains open but he is not practicing yet. We are trying to get him to go to Mass anyway. Thank you in advance.
 
zab said:
I am so happy for all of you who have returned after all those years and for those of you who are anxious about returning to confession. The very desire that you have to go to confession is a good sign. If I could ask a small favor of you all. In thanksgiving for the graces of conversion that you have received, please say a little prayer for our oldest son who is having some tremendous temptations against the faith. He says he remains open but he is not practicing yet. We are trying to get him to go to Mass anyway. Thank you in advance.
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Done! 👍
 
zab said:
I am so happy for all of you who have returned after all those years and for those of you who are anxious about returning to confession. The very desire that you have to go to confession is a good sign. If I could ask a small favor of you all. In thanksgiving for the graces of conversion that you have received, please say a little prayer for our oldest son who is having some tremendous temptations against the faith. He says he remains open but he is not practicing yet. We are trying to get him to go to Mass anyway. Thank you in advance.
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Will do 👍

I practically ran away from the Church in my teens and was adamant I would never return - just proves we are never lost to God even when we think we have chosen another direction. I pray your son does not need to test his ‘choices’ in the same ways I did.
 
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