Hi, Maegan! Hang in there! I think all of us have at least one period of crisis in our faith lives, and, it’s not at all unusual to have many. It seems that people like yourself, who are conscientiously studying the Catholic Church before converting, seldom can squeeze through the doors to the sacraments on that special day without first having had to contend with various attacks from the devil.
Why shouldn’t he go after you, since he’d thought you were his, and he sees that his previous methods of tormenting you about your decision haven’t yet worked? He vowed to keep every soul out of heaven that he could, declaring war war on us all. That current tactic used by political types–infiltrate and take over from within–is Satan’s long established, very effective tool. He knows all about “divide and conquer;” he’s been doing it since his expulsion by God.
Try these suggestions: Put holy water in every room in your house and use it frequently–Satan hates it. Make the sign of the cross and literally tell him to get out of your life, then ask Jesus to banish the devil from your presence. The prayer to St. Michael is always appropriate. It’s perfectly fine to say your prayers internally, but try saying them aloud whenever possible. It seems that the mere sound of the words is more strengthening and leaves me with more hope and certainty than I feel with my silent prayers. Visit the Blessed Sacrament in adoratioin. Just keep Jesus company when you can’t think of words. The more often you do that, the more confident you will become.
Since Satan has been giving you a good workover, you must be very special to Our Lord. Your soul is the most valuable part of you, and, clearly, Satan is fighting for it.
Now, please, do as others have suggested, and talk to a priest about this, so that you’ll have his special intentions for you, as well. Keep the faith and you WILL get through all this. Best wishes to you.