Anger and its consequences

[Seeks_God]

So, last week I became very angry with a family member and lashed out in rather counter-productive ways. Nothing violent, of course, but my attitude really got the better of me. I took my anger out on everyone and everything that connected me to such things.

I realize I’m being vague, but I don’t want to give a whole lot of detail. Suffice it to say that I threw away a Rosary and a lapel pin, given to me as a gift for membership in a catholic organization, and I really regret doing something so stupid. What advice do any of you have in dealing with the consequences of your own angry reactions to situations?

SG

 

[Pete_1]

repent? what more can you do?

 

[Seeks_God]

LOL…I suppose if I’m being vague than you can be vague too, right?

Here’s some background: I have been making more of an effort to be involved in Church activities and organizations with a concerted effort in attending mass as directed and living a sacramental life. I felt prompted to do this by said family member. I wanted to be a better person for this person. Last week, this family member was late in arriving home and I had waited on them to attend mass. When I confronted this person, I was given the excuse, “Like you’ve never been late before? Why do you need me to go with you? You’re a big boy, go without me?”

I became very angry, of course, and informed this person, “I was only doing this for you, anyways…” I proceeded to throw a temper-tantrum, much like a 4 year old would and so forth and so on…

Granted, this person and I have reconciled to each other and I will be attending confession this coming saturday, but I still regret throwing the Rosary and pin in the trash. I really, don’t know how to go about asking for another one from the organization I joined…I fell really stupid about the whole thing.

SG

 

[Pete_1]

Maybe you just need to confess?

 

[Joyousguard]

Look, even Christ became angry. With the money collectors in the temple, He even formed a whip and drove them out, so its safe to say your in good company. We all get angry, and sometimes it gets the better of us, we make mistakes.

In reagrds to the rosary, don’t give it a second thought. Once you have asked for forgiveness it will all be forgoten. My advise to you is confess this to the priest and then ask him if the rectory/church has any extra rosaries. Most churches have those plastic ones. A rosary is a rosary and i find it unlikley that the Mother minds whether a rosary is made of plastic or gold.

Its good that your mindful of your anger but don’t dwell on it too much, after confession all is forgiven.

While a great deal of christianity is for the sake of others, your own spiritual wellbeing is also a good thing as well. We do not go to church to be a better person for others, we go to church to feed our own spiritual needs. This in turn helps us be abetter person in how we approach and deal with others. It is far more important to “be” than to “do”. Being a true catholic will lead to the “doing” (being involved for the sake of another) by itself. Concentrate on the first part and the second will come naturally.

 

[ABiii]

II once attended a workshop on Christian Emotions.

The gist of it:

Emotions are God given and are not bad.

What is bad is improper reaction to emotions.
ex: Frustration → Anger → Violent Reaction.
ex: Fear → Paranoia → Distrust.

We have to separate the emotion from our reaction. we must acknowledge and realize what we feel, and then pray for the proper Christian reaction.

ex: Frustration → Running to God for help → Acceptance with Serenity
ex: Fear → Hope in the Lord → Peace

The proper Christian reaction is not necessarily a kind one, although it is all about love.

I hope that helps!

 

[ChangingHeart]

“Like you’ve never been late before? Why do you need me to go with you? You’re a big boy, go without me?”

SG

Well, for what its worth, I feel that you don’t really have as big an anger problem as you perceive. I assume this person who made that statement was your wife. I give you a lot of credit for not smacking her upside the head. You took your anger out on inanimate objects, which although may not have been the best thing in the world to do, certainly shows much more self-control than many other people would have when spoken to in such an insensitive heartless and dehumanizing manner.

That being said, however, our standard isn’t most people. Our standard is Jesus. While you may have a temper, please realize that you are not as deeply entrenched in this sin as many other people are, you are admitting that you struggle in this area, you are going to confession over it, and I believe that you will experience deliverance from this, placing your trust in the Lord.

It is good that you apologized to the person. You should make it clear, however, at the same time, that you will NOT tolerate being spoken to in that manner, ESPECIALLY if this person is your wife, as I’m assuming. I say this, because while it is good that we apologize, we are not to be doormats, and this person definitely was at fault for being so insensitive and condescending to you. If this was a girlfriend or fiance, I’d recommend you dump her. If she is your wife, then you better lay down some ground rules about your marriage QUICKLY, or you will be a miserable man.

If this was a parent or sibling, please realize that none of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes and need to forgive as we have been forgiven. A significant other, however, such words can not be tolerated from.

That’s my advice. Note, that it is a very sensitive issue to me when I see someone being spoken to in a disrespectful manner, especially a woman speaking to a man in such a way.

 

[crenfro]

So, last week I became very angry with a family member and lashed out in rather counter-productive ways… What advice do any of you have in dealing with the consequences of your own angry reactions to situations?

SG

What’s helped me, and I struggle with anger, is to keep reading up on it, going to confession, and sometimes therapy.

Another thing I just started doing when I feel the anger welling up is to pray “have mercy on me, Lord!”

Another thing is to avoid some people and places which regularly and consistently are occasions of anger for me.

I guess it’s one of my crosses…

my two cents…