Anger during today’s mass

[iDdraig]

During this morning’s homily I became angered with what the Priest spoke about. It bothered me so much that I remained knelled during the distribution of the Eucharist because of the anger I had within me. Now I know that we will not always agree to every position a Priest, Archbishop or even the Pope make take, so the homily isn’t the issue, it was how it was delivered (soapbox) and my reaction to it (anger).

I am trying to figure out how to personally handle this.

 

[Brendan]

Prayer.

Take it to Our Lady and seek her guidance.

Pray for yourself, and pray for the priest

 

[pianistclare]

During this morning’s homily I became angered with what the Priest spoke about. It bothered me so much that I remained knelled during the distribution of the Eucharist because of the anger I had within me. Now I know that we will not always agree to every position a Priest, Archbishop or even the Pope make take, so the homily isn’t the issue, it was how it was delivered (soapbox) and my reaction to it (anger).

I am trying to figure out how to personally handle this.

Speak with him about it. Say "Father, can we speak together about the Weds morning homily? I feel like I didn’t quite “get” what you were saying, and I’d like to know more, understand your position, and see what it means for me.
Most priests are delighted to know that their words (positive or negative) are reaching someone. For sure, eyes will be opened, possibly hearts. And as always, pray for all of our priests. God bless.

 

[Corki]

During this morning’s homily I became angered with what the Priest spoke about. It bothered me so much that I remained knelled during the distribution of the Eucharist because of the anger I had within me. Now I know that we will not always agree to every position a Priest, Archbishop or even the Pope make take, so the homily isn’t the issue, it was how it was delivered (soapbox) and my reaction to it (anger).

I am trying to figure out how to personally handle this.

Did he say something that you believe was against Church teaching? If so, it might bring you peace to go and talk to him personally to make sure you didn’t misunderstand.

If it was just a matter or his delivery style - some priests are more direct; others more subtle - just try to remember the points he was making and not dwell on the style.

Also, sometimes when a homily bothers us, it is calling us to dig a little deeper about the topic in our own life.

And yes, pray for the priest and for your own peace of mind.

 

[John-the-Seeker]

There are some good responses here regarding finding out what triggered your response. It is wise of you if you see that your anger is about you and not about the priest or what he did.
As a for instance let us suppose that he was extremely arrogant and condescending in his delivery of the homily. Those issues are his issues and not yours.
Your issue is to acknowledge what your response was and to discover why this was your response. You have claimed anger to be your response.
Anger at what?
Anger at who?
Is this anger rooted in a past incident?
It is a positive that you received Holy Communion hoping that it woulkd change something in you because only God, who knows your heart, can make the changes that you need.
It is a negative, if, and I stress IF, you see the root cause as separate from you and outside of your control.
The Bible says who is guilty of anger is guilty of murder. So it is a serious issue.
I speak this way because anger was a big issue with myself to the point where my anger in times of stress or weakness almost led to my seriously hurting others. Thanks be to God I was spared fromn that outcome but I did have to learn that I had to discover the root cause of my anger. I had to identify the issues that caused my anger to erupt and to practice loving responses to those causes so that I could respond lovingly when the incidents occurred in the future whereas in the past I had let habitual anger be my response.
In short practice to be loving in all situations and when you fail, if you fail, try to discover the root cause and try to discover a solution to that root cause. Prayer cannot be over stressed as the main incredient in finding these root causes.
God bless and thankyou for sharing. You may have helped many people who have somewhat similar problems.

 

[iDdraig]

Prayer.

Take it to Our Lady and seek her guidance.

Pray for yourself, and pray for the priest

I shall. Thank you!

Speak with him about it. Say "Father, can we speak together about the Weds morning homily? I feel like I didn’t quite “get” what you were saying, and I’d like to know more, understand your position, and see what it means for me.
Most priests are delighted to know that their words (positive or negative) are reaching someone. For sure, eyes will be opened, possibly hearts. And as always, pray for all of our priests. God bless.

In this particular instance I understood his position. I just didn’t agree with his delivery. From what I have seen so far, this appears to be one of those rare instances and since I’m new to this parish I’m hesitant in approaching the priest.

Did he say something that you believe was against Church teaching? If so, it might bring you peace to go and talk to him personally to make sure you didn’t misunderstand.

If it was just a matter or his delivery style - some priests are more direct; others more subtle - just try to remember the points he was making and not dwell on the style.

Also, sometimes when a homily bothers us, it is calling us to dig a little deeper about the topic in our own life.

And yes, pray for the priest and for your own peace of mind.

No, he didn’t state anything against Church teachings. This was more about delivery and his personal position, not the overall position of the Church. It basically boils down to him taking a position that I felt brought an unwelcoming and cold tone that contradicted to what I feel Pope Francis has been doing to make the Church more welcoming. Again, not the material, just the style of the Priest.

God bless!

 

[sudy]

At the end of the day, the priest is still just man like the rest of us. We all make mistakes and we don’t know what triggered his attitude. It’s a pity that it damaged your own focus during the Eucharist too. I think prayer is the answer.

 

[pianistclare]

I shall. Thank you!

In this particular instance I understood his position. I just didn’t agree with his delivery. From what I have seen so far, this appears to be one of those rare instances and since I’m new to this parish I’m hesitant in approaching the priest.

No, he didn’t state anything against Church teachings. This was more about delivery and his personal position, not the overall position of the Church. It basically boils down to him taking a position that I felt brought an unwelcoming and cold tone that contradicted to what I feel Pope Francis has been doing to make the Church more welcoming. Again, not the material, just the style of the Priest.

God bless!

Well, I’m glad to hear all this. If he’s the only priest, you may have to just get used to his “delivery” style.
IMHO, I kind of wish homilists were more forceful. Some tend to dance around the issues and water down stuff, in an effort to keep folks in the pews. While we should never alienate folks, I do sometimes wish there was more hard-core preaching if you will! LOL
But yeah, you get more flies with honey, true.
God bless you. Don’t ever let anything change your heart before Eucharist. Regardless of the mood of the celebrant, we meet Christ at the table.

 

[BrassAnkles]

It basically boils down to him taking a position that I felt brought an unwelcoming and cold tone that contradicted to what I feel Pope Francis has been doing to make the Church more welcoming.

If the sermon has to do with one of the “hot topics” such as abortion or homosexuality, the Catholic Church has not changed doctrine since Pope Francis became Pope, in fact everything Pope Francis has stated can be defended with the catechism.

For example, in the case of homosexuality, a person who suffers from this, like I once did, is to be embraced as a child of God, but their sin is not. Furthermore, since we generally don’t go around proclaiming our struggles each persons personal battles, such as SSA, are a private affair between the person and Christ. On the other hand if a person projects their homosexuality in an open way this attitude would and should be rejected by the Church such as any other sin, such as adultery, etc.

Bottom line is the Church accepts everyone as a child of God, but their sin no.

 

[benjohnson]

It basically boils down to him taking a position that I felt brought an unwelcoming and cold tone that contradicted to what I feel Pope Francis has been doing to make the Church more welcoming. Again, not the material, just the style of the Priest.

I’d also urge you to possibly reflect that the priest may be telling you an uncomfortable truth that you don’t want to hear - and that the Gospel properly proclaimed is offensive to us.

Let me give you a few examples of that offensiveness:

We’re asked to die for our enemies.
We’re asked to love the un-lovable.
We’re asked to chose one person to marry, in defiance of our urge to sin.
We’re asked to create and protect life, and by doing so, give up our own lives - literally and figuratively.

Frankly, I don’t want to hear theses things as they are difficult. You certainly may not have the same issues as I do though.

As others have said, a good conversation with the priest would be beneficial to both of you - so that you may understand the Gospel, and that he can possibly use a bit more of the hook end the shepherd’s crozier, rather than the the rod end.

 

[M-Dent]

I’d just like to add one note,

It bothered me so much that I remained knelled during the distribution of the Eucharist because of the anger I had within me.

This gives me the impression of a conscience aware of the great importance of presenting ourselves for Holy Communion in the proper way. This is a good.

 

[Orogeny]

No, he didn’t state anything against Church teachings. This was more about delivery and his personal position, not the overall position of the Church. It basically boils down to him taking a position that I felt brought an unwelcoming and cold tone that contradicted to what I feel Pope Francis has been doing to make the Church more welcoming. Again, not the material, just the style of the Priest.

God bless!

Since you are new to the parish, invite him to dinner or to have a drink or a cup of coffee. Get to know him on a personal level and have a private conversation with him.

I really appreciate the way you are approaching this issue.

Peace

Tim

 

[Corki]

No, he didn’t state anything against Church teachings. This was more about delivery and his personal position, not the overall position of the Church. It basically boils down to him taking a position that I felt brought an unwelcoming and cold tone that contradicted to what I feel Pope Francis has been doing to make the Church more welcoming. Again, not the material, just the style of the Priest.

God bless!

Pope Francis is modeling a certain style and tone but that doesn’t mean that every priest will (or even should) mimic that style.

This is an interesting new phenomenon. I don’t remember, in my lifetime, ever hearing an expectation that priests change the style of their homilies and addresses to match the current Pope.

 

[fencersmother]

I don’t know how anyone else will feel about this, but I commend you if you refrained from Holy Communion while angry. Not that you stay away from the Blessed Sacrament for long, but until your emotions were sorted out, I think this action was appropriate.

 

[Sy_Noe]

During this morning’s homily I became angered with what the Priest spoke about. It bothered me so much that I remained knelled during the distribution of the Eucharist because of the anger I had within me. Now I know that we will not always agree to every position a Priest, Archbishop or even the Pope make take, so the homily isn’t the issue, it was how it was delivered (soapbox) and my reaction to it (anger).

I am trying to figure out how to personally handle this.

When that happened to me, I sat there the remainder of the Mass furious, all but forcing myself not to get up and walk right out. I then quit attending Mass there. Mine though was both tone, delivery, and I thought he was not fully representing teaching. I didn’t speak with him afterwards because his reputation is such that even he says people walk out on him because they don’t want to hear what he has to say. Peace be with you.

 

[ProVobis]

I don’t know how anyone else will feel about this, but I commend you if you refrained from Holy Communion while angry. Not that you stay away from the Blessed Sacrament for long, but until your emotions were sorted out, I think this action was appropriate.

I agree. Being in an angry state can deprive you of the attention that should be focused at receiving Christ. Last Saturday I had two ladies sit next to me pretty much talking to each other throughout the whole Mass. It was like no one else around them mattered. I noticed others around me who refrained from going to Communion as well. And they weren’t smiling either.

 

[babochka]

I don’t know how anyone else will feel about this, but I commend you if you refrained from Holy Communion while angry. Not that you stay away from the Blessed Sacrament for long, but until your emotions were sorted out, I think this action was appropriate.

Yes, absolutely! I have refrained from communion because I was so angry with my kids for misbehaving or with my husband for not handling the kids in the manner that I thought he should. It isn’t that I thought I was in mortal sin, but that I was not properly disposed to receiving at that moment.