Anger, especially during Advent & Christmas season

[crenfro]

Hello.

I have a sister who never says thank you for gifts. I know a gift is supposed to be without strings, but a “thank you” would be nice. She never sends gifts herself. Neither does the other one. I was trying to be a better person and figured that giving gifts to her & her family would help me, but I seem to just be getting angrier & angrier.

My mother has been very hurtful to me over the years also and she seems incapable of admitting that she ever does wrong – I often wonder what kind of person this makes me.

My husband is also still looking for work since he got laid off this past September and my dad died this past October.

I am so angry, and I feel like I have no one to talk to.

Started praying “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner” to deal with the anger.

I could really use some prayers, hope and encouragement right now.

 

[Trishie]

Dear Crenfro,

Please be assured of my prayers for your husband and your father to find suitable, reliable work.

You have a lot weighing on you.
No wonder you feel so hurt and stressed, even aside from family issues.

I’m sad for you for the hurt you feel.
It may be true that where you are sensitive, your mother doesn’t have a similar brain and personality and may be genuinely incabable of seeing why you would feel hurt.

Some people are simply like that. And your sisters may have inherited her genes you perhaps being of a more sensitive nature and seeing and feeling of the intricate subtleties that some minds dont. My husband is like that in may ways. Perhaps you can’t expect them to be as kind and thoughtful of you because their frameworks differ. Perhaps you can only be true to yourself without expecting others to be different.

Perhaps let the gift-giving lapse, if your sisters dont reciprocate.
Sometimes this is a decision that family members make, as Christmas gift-giving can be a tyranny for some.
In my family my siblings have an agreement not to give gifts to each other but only to the children.
People do have the right to make such choices, and yes your sisters should say thank you, but perhaps their silence, though rude and ungrateful may be a passive-aggressive way of sayng they don’t want to get into gift giving amongst siblings for Christmas.

Christmas should be about family love and unity as witnessed by the Holy Family.
Gift giving…gifts go to everyone except the birthday Person, Jesus, unless we find some kind ways to gift and honor Him in our hearts and choices. Gift giving is very much the joy of retailers and businesses, and the focus of most people. It has become so endemic that we forget it’s a human creation, nothing much to do with the first Christmas. Yes, the Wise men brought gifts, and the gold was probably helpful when the Holy Family had to flee to Egypt so that Jesus wouldn’t be murdered by Herod’s soldiers. And perhaps they could trade the frankinsence and myrrh for food? Your siblings may not need such practical support, but you were being kind and loving.

Perhaps write kind and loving thoughts in specially chosen or made Christmas cards.
You cant change your family, but may God touch their hearts to greater kindnss and understanding of you.
Just be yo, and true to you, because that’s all you can do.

May God hear your prayers and bless you and your family in all your needs
I hope you have a peaceful Christmas xo

 

[crenfro]

Thank you Trishie. Warms my heart.