I’d say the best person to ask this question would be your therapist. He knows your situation and most (all?) of us don’t, so he would be the one who could tailor the response best to you and your needs. Also, he would have professional training in this area, and most (all?) of us don’t. So if this were me, I’d probably run all these ideas by him to clarify exactly what he meant.
Maybe he meant something like the posters above, or maybe he meant something like this:
Step 1) Acknowledge that you feel angry. Anger itself (as an emotion) is amoral, meaning the feeling is neither virtuous, nor sinful. It just is. It’s what you do with anger (the actions you take) that may be morally right or wrong. You can even say to yourself, “I feel angry”. (You can also add “grrrrrrrrr!!!” or “arrrrggghh” ala Charlie Brown if it makes you feel better, lol.)
Step 2) Figure out why you feel angry. Personal insight is your best friend. Ask youself what’s going on that is making you feel angry? Is anger warranted in this situation? (If so, proceed to step 3a.) OR are you overreacting to a situation where anger is not warranted? (If so, proceed to 3b). Also, try to develop personal insight into yourself generally, as well as into your feelings and problems. Your therapist might be helpful here. The more you understand about yourself, the better you’ll be able to deal with your emotions in a proper and healthy manner without resorting to suppression.
Step 3a) Think about the nature of the problem, and decide what you are going to do about it. Is your problem an ongoing one with someone you are in a relationship with? Or is this just a one-off conflict with someone? Or is it an expression of general frusteration and angst, at your situation in life, etc.? Your course of action will differ depending upon which of these it is.
Maybe, if you have been suppressing your feelings for years, you have allowed people to walk all over you. Maybe you have a great deal of emotional pain that needs to be worked through. If so, address these situations with your therapist.
Decide what you are going to do about the problem. Decision-making itself is empowering, so try to make wise choices. Here are some possible outcomes for your justifiable feelings of anger (I am presuming it has to do with a person and is ongoing).
a) Address the problem with the person. Plan to address the problem with them at a later time when you feel less angry and the sting of any hurt isn’t so fresh. Do this calmly, after much thought and prayer.
b) Find forgiveness in your heart, but decide to not pursue a relationship with this person. This may be on a temporary or permanent basis. Sometimes some people just need some space. Others may be incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship in their current state.
c) Decide to stay in the relationship, but without addressing the issue that is bothering you IN THIS INSTANCE. You are freely choosing to offer it up this time, so you are not being a doormat in this situation. However, go through the process of decision-making again next time. You will need to re-evaluate and make a conscious decision each time to ensure you are still pursuing the best course of action and that the relationship is not unhealthy. (It goes without saying, if you are being abused, definitely leave and seek help)
If you need to let off steam or pent up emotions, try these techniques: take a hot shower, have a good cry, talk to a trusted friend or confidante, pray, or write in a journal (you can even compose an email, but don’t push send!). I personally think a trusted person you can confide in is the best! They can be a sounding board, give moral support, or even present a different point of view
Step 3b) If you realize you are overreacting to a situation, try to figure out why, and solve that problem
The problem might be psychological/emotional/spiritual in nature, or it might be triggered or exacerbated by a physical problem (such as a hormone or blood glucose level imbalance or exhaustion). Or maybe you’re just burnt out and need a little r&r. If this happens frequently, be sure to seek out help!
Good luck to you
