L
lovedance4ever
Guest
I have written previously about this issue, but it was quite some time ago (at least a year), and there are some updates.
I have one older sister (she is 23 years older than I…I’m 20 and she’s 43). She is my half sister, from my father’s first marriage. He was married very young, and her biological mother turned out to be very abusive…but that’s a whole other story. In short, my parents married when my sister was 8 and my mother raised my sister as her own. In all fairness, it is true that she had a very difficult childhood until my mom entered the picture and completed the family unit.
She left the church and married a Protestant minister, which devastated my family and was against my father’s wishes. In short, her husband is the most despicable human being I have ever met…and I will explain why.
When I was little (as young as 3), my sister looked at and treated me with such disgust. She had three daughters by the time I was 6, and I loved my nieces more than I can ever describe. Problem was, I always dreaded their family visits because of how my sister behaved with me. Ever though I was a child myself, she always expected me to be an adult with her children and would blame me for everything that went wrong. I remember one time in particular, she took me and one of my nieces out for a walk and pulled us in a wagon. I commented on how nice a day it was, and with nothing triggering this response, she stopped in her tracks and started screaming at me, saying I was a horrible sister, a terrible daughter to our parents, and a bad influence on my nieces. I was 6.
Her husband is extremely controlling and abusive of her…and he’s a pervert. When I was 11, I was instant messaging one of my nieces. She left the computer, and all of a sudden, I started getting perverted messages from my brother in law…saying sexually explicit things about his sex life with my sister. I didn’t really understand what it all meant, but I knew I felt icky, and looking back, I know it was.
One time when they were visiting (the lived out of town), my dad offered to by groceries for her family. She didn’t want this, so she handed me money to give to him. I tried to get him to accept it, but he wouldn’t accept it. When I handed it back to my sister, she slapped me on the arm so hard, that it turned red and a welt formed from her ring.
Another time, my oldest niece (only two years younger than I am, and EXACTLY like her father) was saying horrible things about the Catholic Church, and saying I was going to hell for my beliefs. I was 14, and defended my faith to the best of my ability…later on, I confided in my mom while we were alone, but begged her to not say anything to my sister or niece, cause I knew I would be blamed. My mom didn’t listen and scolded my niece. She went crying to her mother, and my sister read me the riot act, saying I was at fault for everything. My mom and aunt then believed that I had caused the trouble and went to comfort my niece while I stood on our front porch, being chewed out by my sister. I wanted to die. And I almost ran away that night, because I felt like I was alone in the world. Looking back, my mom knows the truth, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
I then decided to send my sister a letter, expressing my feelings and saying that I wanted a true, loving relationship with her. Her response? She never responded, and when asked about it by my mother, she said, “My non response IS my response.”
That summer, I lost it. I went to see a counselor, because my parents thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I closed off to the world, to my friends, to my family. It was the worst time I can ever remember going through. She cut me off from my nieces, with who I had such a close relationship (as mean as my sister was, I did have a close bond with the younger two nieces). I knew the only way to get them back was to apologize…and so I did, even though I felt like I did nothing wrong. She “accepted” and moved on.
Another event triggered some very hard feelings, but I won’t go into it since this is already so long. As bad a decision as it might have been, I sent her a second message, which I will admit, was quite harsh. But I was angry, and didn’t know what else to do. She then cut me off from all contact with my nieces for three years. No messages, no calls…absolutely nothing. I pleaded with her to allow me to talk to her daughters…and eventually apologized, but things have been rocky ever since.
I have one older sister (she is 23 years older than I…I’m 20 and she’s 43). She is my half sister, from my father’s first marriage. He was married very young, and her biological mother turned out to be very abusive…but that’s a whole other story. In short, my parents married when my sister was 8 and my mother raised my sister as her own. In all fairness, it is true that she had a very difficult childhood until my mom entered the picture and completed the family unit.
She left the church and married a Protestant minister, which devastated my family and was against my father’s wishes. In short, her husband is the most despicable human being I have ever met…and I will explain why.
When I was little (as young as 3), my sister looked at and treated me with such disgust. She had three daughters by the time I was 6, and I loved my nieces more than I can ever describe. Problem was, I always dreaded their family visits because of how my sister behaved with me. Ever though I was a child myself, she always expected me to be an adult with her children and would blame me for everything that went wrong. I remember one time in particular, she took me and one of my nieces out for a walk and pulled us in a wagon. I commented on how nice a day it was, and with nothing triggering this response, she stopped in her tracks and started screaming at me, saying I was a horrible sister, a terrible daughter to our parents, and a bad influence on my nieces. I was 6.
Her husband is extremely controlling and abusive of her…and he’s a pervert. When I was 11, I was instant messaging one of my nieces. She left the computer, and all of a sudden, I started getting perverted messages from my brother in law…saying sexually explicit things about his sex life with my sister. I didn’t really understand what it all meant, but I knew I felt icky, and looking back, I know it was.
One time when they were visiting (the lived out of town), my dad offered to by groceries for her family. She didn’t want this, so she handed me money to give to him. I tried to get him to accept it, but he wouldn’t accept it. When I handed it back to my sister, she slapped me on the arm so hard, that it turned red and a welt formed from her ring.
Another time, my oldest niece (only two years younger than I am, and EXACTLY like her father) was saying horrible things about the Catholic Church, and saying I was going to hell for my beliefs. I was 14, and defended my faith to the best of my ability…later on, I confided in my mom while we were alone, but begged her to not say anything to my sister or niece, cause I knew I would be blamed. My mom didn’t listen and scolded my niece. She went crying to her mother, and my sister read me the riot act, saying I was at fault for everything. My mom and aunt then believed that I had caused the trouble and went to comfort my niece while I stood on our front porch, being chewed out by my sister. I wanted to die. And I almost ran away that night, because I felt like I was alone in the world. Looking back, my mom knows the truth, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
I then decided to send my sister a letter, expressing my feelings and saying that I wanted a true, loving relationship with her. Her response? She never responded, and when asked about it by my mother, she said, “My non response IS my response.”
That summer, I lost it. I went to see a counselor, because my parents thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I closed off to the world, to my friends, to my family. It was the worst time I can ever remember going through. She cut me off from my nieces, with who I had such a close relationship (as mean as my sister was, I did have a close bond with the younger two nieces). I knew the only way to get them back was to apologize…and so I did, even though I felt like I did nothing wrong. She “accepted” and moved on.
Another event triggered some very hard feelings, but I won’t go into it since this is already so long. As bad a decision as it might have been, I sent her a second message, which I will admit, was quite harsh. But I was angry, and didn’t know what else to do. She then cut me off from all contact with my nieces for three years. No messages, no calls…absolutely nothing. I pleaded with her to allow me to talk to her daughters…and eventually apologized, but things have been rocky ever since.