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ClearWater
Guest
I’m looking for suggestions on how to manage anger. What works for you?
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Della
Guest
That depends on why you are angry. 
Scripture tells us to be angry but not sin, nor to go to bed angry.
Anger, in an of itself, is merely an emotion and like all emotions we have control over it, if we want to.
The ways that have worked for me are:
Scripture tells us to be angry but not sin, nor to go to bed angry.Anger, in an of itself, is merely an emotion and like all emotions we have control over it, if we want to.
The ways that have worked for me are:
- Don’t take everything so seriously. Learn to laugh at the world’s follies and foibles–most especially your own.
- Give everything to God–most especially those who incite your anger.
- Set up a regular prayer routine, be it the rosary, morning and evening prayer, or some others solid devotion. If you make it regular, like eating 3 meals a day, in time it will change you.
- Be patient with yourself while you are attempting to curb your impulse to be angry. You will fail–often, but don’t be discouraged. As long as you are trying to correct this fault, God will help you with it.
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Hoosier_Daddy
Guest
Driving out in the desert with a handgun, rifle, shotgun and 150 dollars in ammo. Then a watermelon, old computer, can of propane, or just some tin cans…
Seriously. Best therapy ever. Well maybe second to adoration…
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Della
Guest
Of, if you don’t have any firearms, beat up an old pillow. Just as effective without all that driving, shooting, destruction, and noise. 
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MaryHelp777
Guest
Don’t get angry.
If a person only sinfully gets angry they should try always remaining calm and polite when explaining or standing up for themselves.
The best way to keep your temper, is not to lose it.
Prayer each day is how God fills you with his Holy Spirit, who gives you peace, self control, compassion, positivity,
You become your thoughts.
Your thoughts lead to actions.
Don’t think negative or angry thoughts. Think positive, calm, understanding, compassionate thoughts,
If a person only sinfully gets angry they should try always remaining calm and polite when explaining or standing up for themselves.
The best way to keep your temper, is not to lose it.
Prayer each day is how God fills you with his Holy Spirit, who gives you peace, self control, compassion, positivity,
You become your thoughts.
Your thoughts lead to actions.
Don’t think negative or angry thoughts. Think positive, calm, understanding, compassionate thoughts,
G
GEddie
Guest
Does the propane canister go boom when hit?
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ClearWater
Guest
Thanks for all the advice. The ammo one especially sounded good! 
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Crusaderbear
Guest
Hit the gym. Or swim laps. Swimming is especially good, don’t have to deal with anyone…unless the lanes are crowded…
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slh3016
Guest
If only it WERE this easy sometimes…Don’t get angry.
If a person only sinfully gets angry they should try always remaining calm and polite when explaining or standing up for themselves.
The best way to keep your temper, is not to lose it.
Prayer each day is how God fills you with his Holy Spirit, who gives you peace, self control, compassion, positivity,
You become your thoughts.
Your thoughts lead to actions.
Don’t think negative or angry thoughts. Think positive, calm, understanding, compassionate thoughts,
C
ChrisDB
Guest
Hi this is my first forum post, I hope I’m doing this right.
I don’t know if this will help but I’d like to share a story with you that had a profound impact on me. My husband (years ago before I met him) had this little dog that he rescued and he really loved. The dog had severe epilepsy. She was having a seizure for way too long, he knew she was in real trouble and was driving her to his mother’s veterinary clinic. He knew from experience the little dog had seized too long, and he was really scared and upset and trying to drive as quickly as he could. He was in the left lane on a two lane highway, and the man driving in front of him wouldn’t move over to the right and let him pass. He stayed in the left lane but after a while when the man wasn’t moving right, my husband moved right. The man driving the car in front swerved into the right lane ahead of him, and wouldn’t let him pass. He kept swerving from left to right and back, just refusing to let him pass, and driving slower and slower, and flipping him off out the window. My husband was not tail gating, just trying to pass. He was crying waving and yelling “please” out the window but the car in front of him was just really mad and wasn’t going to let anyone pass him. My husband got the dog to his mother’s veterinary practice about ten minutes later than he should have, and the dog died, probably needlessly, and most likely suffering.
When ever my husband drives, if someone comes up on him fast or tries to pass him, he gets out of the way as fast as he can. When I first met him and I noticed this I asked him why and he told me the story of his dog that died. He said he gives every body the benefit of the doubt ever since. I said, well you know most people tail gating or trying to pass you aren’t having a real emergency like you were. He said, why would you take that chance? IS it worth it? And I said no, of course it’s not. It changed the way I drive from then forward. But here’s the real kicker.
I said to him how horrible this angry driver was, that wouldn’t let him pass, and his dog died because of it. And he said “No you have to feel really sorry for that guy and pray for him, he had a much worse day than I did. He has to live with consequences he doesn’t even know about. Those are the hardest to ask forgiveness for.” And he said, just as that man didn’t know what kind of day my husband was having, my husband doesn’t know what kind of day that man was having either. He said, that guy could have just found out something horrible, or could have been having the worst day of his life. Who knows. He deserves the benefit of the doubt, too. Don’t judge him, just pray for him. Don’t assume anything about him, just send him a hug in your heart.
It really made me think about what we set into motion, and why, for what reason, at what cost. I mean, to that driver he was probably just being angry, taking it out on a stranger, thinking - “I’m not gonna let this young guy pass me,” and he was just a jerk and in his mind got away with being a meanie and never thought about it again.
It also made me think about how we have no idea what’s going on in anyone else’s life.
So this is my suggestion for how to deal with anger. Think about the bigger picture. The person angering you may be suffering so intensely, in private, that it would stun you to know about. Or, maybe the anger you express, though it seems stupid and temporary, could set events into motion that will hurt someone in way you haven’t even imagined. Is it worth it? You can always be better than the situation you’re in, right?
I think anger is a normal human emotion, part of a healthy spectrum of feelings. It’s what we do with it that matters.
Thank you for reading my thoughts.
I don’t know if this will help but I’d like to share a story with you that had a profound impact on me. My husband (years ago before I met him) had this little dog that he rescued and he really loved. The dog had severe epilepsy. She was having a seizure for way too long, he knew she was in real trouble and was driving her to his mother’s veterinary clinic. He knew from experience the little dog had seized too long, and he was really scared and upset and trying to drive as quickly as he could. He was in the left lane on a two lane highway, and the man driving in front of him wouldn’t move over to the right and let him pass. He stayed in the left lane but after a while when the man wasn’t moving right, my husband moved right. The man driving the car in front swerved into the right lane ahead of him, and wouldn’t let him pass. He kept swerving from left to right and back, just refusing to let him pass, and driving slower and slower, and flipping him off out the window. My husband was not tail gating, just trying to pass. He was crying waving and yelling “please” out the window but the car in front of him was just really mad and wasn’t going to let anyone pass him. My husband got the dog to his mother’s veterinary practice about ten minutes later than he should have, and the dog died, probably needlessly, and most likely suffering.
When ever my husband drives, if someone comes up on him fast or tries to pass him, he gets out of the way as fast as he can. When I first met him and I noticed this I asked him why and he told me the story of his dog that died. He said he gives every body the benefit of the doubt ever since. I said, well you know most people tail gating or trying to pass you aren’t having a real emergency like you were. He said, why would you take that chance? IS it worth it? And I said no, of course it’s not. It changed the way I drive from then forward. But here’s the real kicker.
I said to him how horrible this angry driver was, that wouldn’t let him pass, and his dog died because of it. And he said “No you have to feel really sorry for that guy and pray for him, he had a much worse day than I did. He has to live with consequences he doesn’t even know about. Those are the hardest to ask forgiveness for.” And he said, just as that man didn’t know what kind of day my husband was having, my husband doesn’t know what kind of day that man was having either. He said, that guy could have just found out something horrible, or could have been having the worst day of his life. Who knows. He deserves the benefit of the doubt, too. Don’t judge him, just pray for him. Don’t assume anything about him, just send him a hug in your heart.
It really made me think about what we set into motion, and why, for what reason, at what cost. I mean, to that driver he was probably just being angry, taking it out on a stranger, thinking - “I’m not gonna let this young guy pass me,” and he was just a jerk and in his mind got away with being a meanie and never thought about it again.
It also made me think about how we have no idea what’s going on in anyone else’s life.
So this is my suggestion for how to deal with anger. Think about the bigger picture. The person angering you may be suffering so intensely, in private, that it would stun you to know about. Or, maybe the anger you express, though it seems stupid and temporary, could set events into motion that will hurt someone in way you haven’t even imagined. Is it worth it? You can always be better than the situation you’re in, right?
I think anger is a normal human emotion, part of a healthy spectrum of feelings. It’s what we do with it that matters.
Thank you for reading my thoughts.
M
MaryHelp777
Guest
Jesus told the Apostles “To men, it is impossible, to God all things are possible”
Prayer!
Fasting works too, give up something for the week out of love for God, give up certain foods on Wednesdays and Fridays
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bmaj
Guest
This has always been a real hard one for me, but I’ve found that trying to picture (or remember) the person I’m angry at as a baby or child usually helps a lot. When I attempt to see the innocent child deep in them, I somehow can then get around to seeing the face of Jesus in them as well since He resides in all of us - even the ones we get angry at. The above suggestions given by others are also very good. If the anger is long-lasting, I’ve also found that praying daily for the person can help both them and me as I try to hand the situation over to God after I’ve done all that is lovingly possible myself to resolve it (key word there being “lovingly…”). The older I get, the more I’ve had to hand over, so I just hope He doesn’t get tired of all the burdens I’m passing off to Him!!
Our Lord’s blessings always to you.
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slh3016
Guest
Yes, He told them that but He didn’t say it would be instantaneous. If it were, we wouldn’t need the sacraments.Jesus told the Apostles “To men, it is impossible, to God all things are possible”
Prayer!
Fasting works too, give up something for the week out of love for God, give up certain foods on Wednesdays and Fridays
I’m not trying to be snarky but telling someone who struggles with anger that the best way to stop getting angry is to not get angry is like telling an alcoholic that the best way to cure their alcoholism is to not take a drink. That part they already know, don’t they
The root cause of a person’s anger must be addressed first. And yes, maybe prayer and fasting could help, but for me, fasting would only increase my edginess and lead to a more likely display of anger.
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Hoosier_Daddy
Guest
I feel like I must mention to check with state and federal laws on this one. Perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It can indeed be dangerous. So let’s talk in scientific generalities and hypotheticals. If a projectile hits a propane canister at the top nozzle the force of the projectile can cause the canister to act as a larger projectile. If it hits and penetrates the base, there is a high probability of ignition. Causing the canister to be unsafe and break apart rapidly…one should be at a safe distance when attempting this “myth busters” type experiment. Also as with any good science experiment it is best to start small. No need for a mushroom cloud with a 10 gallon bbq canister…
H
Hoosier_Daddy
Guest
The best way to manage anger is not to get angry?Don’t get angry.
If a person only sinfully gets angry they should try always remaining calm and polite when explaining or standing up for themselves.
The best way to keep your temper, is not to lose it.
Prayer each day is how God fills you with his Holy Spirit, who gives you peace, self control, compassion, positivity,
You become your thoughts.
Your thoughts lead to actions.
Don’t think negative or angry thoughts. Think positive, calm, understanding, compassionate thoughts,
Thanks.
C
clem456
Guest
Gratitude.
Even when I don’t feel gratitude, if I physically say “thank you God” for this and that trial it helps the anger to subside.
And to pray for whatever person or situation is making you angry. It can feel forced but it works.
Gratitude is the gateway to grace:
Thank you God for this day.
And yes, some drastic but prudent physical action helps.
Shooting (not the person you’re angry at).
Vigorous also exercise works for me.
I’ve also been given a unique penance for anger:
“be kind to people”
When the priest gave this to me I thought “What??? What kind a milktoast penance is that? What about kneeling on nails for an hour?”
But this is a very wise priest. He knows anger thrives from being unkind.
Kindness is not just a benign token to throw at someone. It has to be cultivated.
It is proving to be the hardest thing I’ve ever been given as a penance. It’s hard to be angry when you are busy being kind. Take it from someone who is not much good at it.
P
puzzledtoo
Guest
The dali lama tells us that practicing patience helps us to let go of anger.
Mother Teresa says that silence gives us a new outlook on everything. I’ve found practicing silence when able to to be very helpful in general.
While reading the church bulletin from the local parish my mother attends I came across this and thought of this thread.
"Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them. ‘Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’
I cant’ help but believe if we practiced this we would all exhibit less anger toward others.
be well-stay safe-blessings.
Mother Teresa says that silence gives us a new outlook on everything. I’ve found practicing silence when able to to be very helpful in general.
While reading the church bulletin from the local parish my mother attends I came across this and thought of this thread.
"Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them. ‘Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’
I cant’ help but believe if we practiced this we would all exhibit less anger toward others.
be well-stay safe-blessings.
G
guanophore
Guest
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (being transformed by the renewing of my mind)
Memorizing a lot of scripture I can say aloud to myself.
Listening to Praise Music,
Forgiving others, for they know not what they do. Looking at things that get me angry as opportunties for prayer.
Looking at the Log that is in my own eye before trying to take the splinter out of another.
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Bill_Martin
Guest
Yep, I can confirm. Tannerite for the really bad days when you need an instant smile.
If your anger is directed towards another person, try praying for them. They have fears, insecurities, hardships, sadness, grief, and more. Pray for them.
If it is directed at yourself, then talk to yourself as if you would to a loved one who was angry at himself/herself. Often we are better at giving advice to others than ourselves, and can see the truth about others easier than we can about us.
If you are angry at God, well, you’re not God and there’s a reason for that. I think anger at God comes from thinking we know better than Him and expecting a different result. Trouble is, none of us knows His plan, and none of us knows what is best as thoroughly as He does, if we know at all.
Try giving thanks to God for 5 things every night. Personally, I don’t do this enough, so this is a good thing to do for that reason alone. But I also found that the act of thinking of them will get my mind onto the positive.
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