Angry and Violent thoughts: Temptation or true sin?

[gs013564]

Hi all,

This one caught me a bit off guard last night. I have a situation where I’m extremely annoyed with a friend of mine and a little angry over a personal matter between us. He had previously requested to talk about it. I wanted to talk about it last night to try and resolve it, but he defered to talk about it later.

Anyways as the night went on, I got a little angrier because I wanted to patch it up and he wouldn’t give me a chance, but never to the point of “(CCC 2302) a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor” (this part means you really have intentions of wanting to kill someone right?).

However, my imagination ran a little wild and it got to the point that the confrontation escalated into a full out battle in my little fantasy. I really was not THAT angry, but would you say that the thoughts I had about it escalating into a physical fight probably just a temptation? I do recall being put off by the thought, but I’m mad at myself for letting my imagination run that wild.

What are your thoughts? I’ve already texted my friend this morning to ask him to speak to me when he feels comfortable so I am trying to patch things up.

I promise I’m not a psychopath. I just don’t like having these thoughts play out in my mind and it worries me.

 

[Blossoming]

I think it’s good that you recognize it’s probably not useful to be so angry without being able to effectuate change.

I treat angry (sin against love) depressive (sin against God) thoughts as venial sins. They don’t have to be immediately confessed but the next time you miss Mass, which is mortal, and means you have to confess anyway, you can mention angry or depressed thoughts as well. I wouldn’t go to confession specifically for them, but I would save them up for when I do go to confession and add them to the mix.

Hope you feel better and that the situation resolves itself.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Hi all,

This one caught me a bit off guard last night. I have a situation where I’m extremely annoyed with a friend of mine and a little angry over a personal matter between us. He had previously requested to talk about it. I wanted to talk about it last night to try and resolve it, but he defered to talk about it later.

Anyways as the night went on, I got a little angrier because I wanted to patch it up and he wouldn’t give me a chance, but never to the point of “(CCC 2302) a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor” (this part means you really have intentions of wanting to kill someone right?).

However, my imagination ran a little wild and it got to the point that the confrontation escalated into a full out battle in my little fantasy. I really was not THAT angry, but would you say that the thoughts I had about it escalating into a physical fight probably just a temptation? I do recall being put off by the thought, but I’m mad at myself for letting my imagination run that wild.

What are your thoughts? I’ve already texted my friend this morning to ask him to speak to me when he feels comfortable so I am trying to patch things up.

I promise I’m not a psychopath. I just don’t like having these thoughts play out in my mind and it worries me.

Thoughts are thoughts, actions are actions.
It is not because you think that killin somebody was a good idea that you are going to kill him.
It is not because you think that you ARE going to die tomorrow that you are going to die tomorrow and teh reverse is true.
Do not worry, my opinion. Otherwise you worry because you are angry and you worry because you worry, and it is a neverending string…

 

[Mudgely]

Hi all,

This one caught me a bit off guard last night. I have a situation where I’m extremely annoyed with a friend of mine and a little angry over a personal matter between us. He had previously requested to talk about it. I wanted to talk about it last night to try and resolve it, but he defered to talk about it later.

Anyways as the night went on, I got a little angrier because I wanted to patch it up and he wouldn’t give me a chance, but never to the point of “(CCC 2302) a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor” (this part means you really have intentions of wanting to kill someone right?).

However, my imagination ran a little wild and it got to the point that the confrontation escalated into a full out battle in my little fantasy. I really was not THAT angry, but would you say that the thoughts I had about it escalating into a physical fight probably just a temptation? I do recall being put off by the thought, but I’m mad at myself for letting my imagination run that wild.

What are your thoughts? I’ve already texted my friend this morning to ask him to speak to me when he feels comfortable so I am trying to patch things up.

I promise I’m not a psychopath. I just don’t like having these thoughts play out in my mind and it worries me.

I have a couple of thoughts. (1) As you acknowledge, not every impulse need be acted upon. (2) Was the anger at your friend, or were the events last night the trigger to allow you to draw on a well of internal anger from past injustices. The clue to this would be if you have and “anger problem”. Do you find yourself getting angry very easily, or out of proportion to the context of the situation? Are your feeling usually muted, otherwise? If so, then you might want to do some self exploration, with a priest and/or counselor.

 

[gs013564]

I have a couple of thoughts. (1) As you acknowledge, not every impulse need be acted upon. (2) Was the anger at your friend, or were the events last night the trigger to allow you to draw on a well of internal anger from past injustices. The clue to this would be if you have and “anger problem”. Do you find yourself getting angry very easily, or out of proportion to the context of the situation? Are your feeling usually muted, otherwise? If so, then you might want to do some self exploration, with a priest and/or counselor.

No, I don’t get too angry very often. Irritated, yes. But true anger, no, not really. My anger is usually in proportion. I’m usually very rational about it. It’s not like I just fly off the handle at something that I consider “small stuff”.

 

[Mudgely]

No, I don’t get too angry very often. Irritated, yes. But true anger, no, not really. My anger is usually in proportion. I’m usually very rational about it. It’s not like I just fly off the handle at something that I consider “small stuff”.

Perhaps your friend did something that hits one of your “trigger”? Just a guess.

 

[gs013564]

Perhaps your friend did something that hits one of your “trigger”? Just a guess.

Yeah, I’m impatient and he makes decisions as fast as an Ent (Lord of the Ring reference). In other words, he takes… his… time… Honestly, though, I’m over it for now. I have done everything I can think of to be open and available to him. Ball’s in his court now.

 

[Bookcat]

One can sin in ones thoughts yes. And the CCC notes there the desire to “seriously wound” too as an example…and moral theology will treat of how anger can be venially sinful or mortally sinful as well (…such as gravely offending charity or justice).

Of course sometimes one can start thinking and feeling long before one realizes what one is doing.

Or one can sin by deliberately doing so or consenting to such knowingly.

We of course should not consent to thoughts that are contrary to charity etc…

 

[gs013564]

yeah I read the entry in the CCC. But there wasn’t a true desire on my part. just ridiculuos daydreaming and I do remember not liking the thoughts once I realized it. I guess my concern is that if there is no true desire then I am mortally sinning correct?

 

[Bookcat]

yeah I read the entry in the CCC. But there wasn’t a true desire on my part. just ridiculuos daydreaming and I do remember not liking the thoughts once I realized it. I guess my concern is that if there is no true desire then I am mortally sinning correct?

I am not saying you committed mortal sin…you have examine such …and ones confessor can help. It may be that you “day dreamed” but when you realized one should not be doing so you stopped…

If I day dream about cutting my bosses head off…and knowingly consent to the such thoughts …such as to take pleasure in such thoughts…well that is getting into likely some serious territory…(though not completely sure…would have to think more on it …but certainly to desire such would be).

 

[gs013564]

I am not saying you committed mortal sin…you have examine such …and ones confessor can help. It may be that you “day dreamed” but when you realized one should not be doing so you stopped…

If I day dream about cutting my bosses head off…and knowingly consent to the such thoughts …such as to take pleasure in such thoughts…well that is getting into likely some serious territory…(though not completely sure…would have to think more on it …but certainly to desire such would be).

Sorry, I meant to type “not mortally sinned”.

I know I didn’t want to get into a fight with my friend. I would say that by that fact alone I didn’t “deliberatly desire” to hurt him. Like you state is more of a wild day dream and when I realized it I clearly recall thinking “I shouldn’t be thinking about this” and trying to turn my thought away. It’s interesting to think about when trying to make sense of why I would even have a crazy daydream like that. I’m into martial arts and things of that sort by interest, so I’m thinking it’s just my mind going off on some wild tangent.