angry at God

[eleemosynary]

I’ll try to make this brief. I’m angry at God.

I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression over the last three years and it’s really hurting my marriage and family life and career. I’ve prayed to God for help with this and it doesn’t get any better. And I keep feeling further from God and less spiritually connected.

And the kicker is I came back to the church after being away for years, got my marriage straightened out, went to confession and received communion, my wife converted, we adopted a son and got him baptized. I feel like I did everything I was supposed to do and now I really need help and I’m getting nothing. I was really good with God for years OUTSIDE the church and I really felt like he was doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself. Now I’m back and He’s hanging me out to dry. I know this is the wrong attitude, but I can’t seem to shake this awful feeling. I know I don’t deserve anything for coming back to the Church, and everything good that I have was a gift from God, but I just plain need help and I’m sliding further and further and man it really hurts.

What do I do?

Please don’t tell me that happy garbage about God teaches you to walk or ride the bike and then you have to pedal yourself, or walk yourself or whatever. I crashed the bike.

 

[stephe1987]

I read somewhere that Mother Teresa did not get any responses from God for over 20 years at some point in her life. But she never stopped praying or serving him, and was very happy when he did respond to her. I think sometimes God tests us by acting as if he isn’t paying attention to us. We just need to keep moving forward. There are times when we will not understand the ways of God, why he does what he does. But we are not called to understand, only to obey.

 

[GloriousOrder]

Friend, if you did everything you were “supposed to do” merely because you were supposed to do it, perhaps that is the problem. If you’re saying “supposed to do” simply out of bitterness that ‘nothing happened’ afterward, it’s still a sign of effeminacy. Men do not complain or get angry at Almighty God. What did He say to Job, when Job finally broke into weeping and sobs in confusion because of God’s supposed persecutions of him? God told Job to gird himself like a man and answer God’s questions, which Job could not do.

Who are you (or we) to get angry at Him? “Where were you” when God set the foundations of time and space? He is the very source of majesty, joy, glory, and perfection. He simply is all these things, so maybe you just need to have a more mystical understanding of God’s power. Everything He does is geared toward destroying that which harms us. Perhaps God is mortifying your flesh and spirit to drive out all remnants of pride. He is certainly doing His best to destroy my pride, by putting seemingly insurmountable obstacles before me every day. I fail very often, but in failure I know that I can succeed by what I learned. Life is an ongoing experience, not a set of triumphs.

God is our guardian and maker, who sternly gives us law and love, not just love. As C.S. Lewis said, God is not a grandfather, but a Father. Everyone expects a quaint old grandfather to give you spiritual cookies, but no one expects a real manly father to be so indulgent. God wants you to struggle in prayer, and raise your family with righteous justice in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Gird thyself manfully, and answer!

 

[DDIETZ]

Maybe all the good is there but is being blocked by your depression. The first place I would start would be the doctor’s office to make sure it is being treated properly.
I hope you find that your perception of your life improves.

 

[Maureen_Brilla]

Maybe all the good is there but is being blocked by your depression. The first place I would start would be the doctor’s office to make sure it is being treated properly.
I hope you find that your perception of your life improves.

This is very good advice from DDIETZ. God comes to us through others, and that “other” is often a professional who can treat any chemical imbalance that may be disrupting the anatomy. A person with diabetes will certainly use insulin to have a better quality of life and in fact often to save his life. Sometimes the old saying from the '60s is true: “Better living through chemistry”…However anything having to do with treating a mental ailment is often misconstrued, labeling the recipient as “crazy” or “nuts”…It is even a stigma today that a pill is too often used as the solution, but perhaps with all the chemicals in our foods, the hormones injected into our meat, and air pollution have altered the normal functioning of our brain chemistry and the medication is indeed required.

Depression is a deadly disease. I know that you are not truly angry with God but your frustration with the manner in which your life is headed is unbearable right now. Believe me, He has not abandoned you. He is walking with you but honoring His gift of free will to you. There are choices…He’s just allowing you to make them.

God is not a magician who waves a wand. He gives us life. Life is a struggle. He came into the world and struggled as one of us, so He is fully aware of the suffering of this exile. His empathy is genuine, and His compassion is true. He has given another human being the gifts required to obtain a medical degree. That person has been placed on this earth specifically for YOU. Go find that person, please.

You are in my prayers.

 

[eleemosynary]

Friend, if you did everything you were “supposed to do” merely because you were supposed to do it, perhaps that is the problem. If you’re saying “supposed to do” simply out of bitterness that ‘nothing happened’ afterward, it’s still a sign of effeminacy. Men do not complain or get angry at Almighty God. What did He say to Job, when Job finally broke into weeping and sobs in confusion because of God’s supposed persecutions of him? God told Job to gird himself like a man and answer God’s questions, which Job could not do.

Who are you (or we) to get angry at Him? “Where were you” when God set the foundations of time and space? He is the very source of majesty, joy, glory, and perfection. He simply is all these things, so maybe you just need to have a more mystical understanding of God’s power. Everything He does is geared toward destroying that which harms us. Perhaps God is mortifying your flesh and spirit to drive out all remnants of pride. He is certainly doing His best to destroy my pride, by putting seemingly insurmountable obstacles before me every day. I fail very often, but in failure I know that I can succeed by what I learned. Life is an ongoing experience, not a set of triumphs.

God is our guardian and maker, who sternly gives us law and love, not just love. As C.S. Lewis said, God is not a grandfather, but a Father. Everyone expects a quaint old grandfather to give you spiritual cookies, but no one expects a real manly father to be so indulgent. God wants you to struggle in prayer, and raise your family with righteous justice in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Gird thyself manfully, and answer!

I came back to the church and did those things because I felt compelled to. I did them joyfully, not expecting to get something. I felt like coming back was a gift.

So you’re basically saying “man up?” Maybe that’s not bad advice…

 

[eleemosynary]

This is very good advice from DDIETZ. God comes to us through others, and that “other” is often a professional who can treat any chemical imbalance that may be disrupting the anatomy. A person with diabetes will certainly use insulin to have a better quality of life and in fact often to save his life. Sometimes the old saying from the '60s is true: “Better living through chemistry”…However anything having to do with treating a mental ailment is often misconstrued, labeling the recipient as “crazy” or “nuts”…It is even a stigma today that a pill is too often used as the solution, but perhaps with all the chemicals in our foods, the hormones injected into our meat, and air pollution have altered the normal functioning of our brain chemistry and the medication is indeed required.

Depression is a deadly disease. I know that you are not truly angry with God but your frustration with the manner in which your life is headed is unbearable right now. Believe me, He has not abandoned you. He is walking with you but honoring His gift of free will to you. There are choices…He’s just allowing you to make them.

God is not a magician who waves a wand. He gives us life. Life is a struggle. He came into the world and struggled as one of us, so He is fully aware of the suffering of this exile. His empathy is genuine, and His compassion is true. He has given another human being the gifts required to obtain a medical degree. That person has been placed on this earth specifically for YOU. Go find that person, please.

You are in my prayers.

Thanks for the response, and that’s good advice. But I have already been seeing a doctor for over a year, and tried three different psych meds. Sorry but I should have made that clear. I’m hanging with it, but I feel pretty discouraged. Maybe I need another doctor.

But I will tell you I am truly angry with God. I know it’s not right or fair, He’s the last person I have any right to be angry with, but there it is.

 

[PerfectTiming]

Thanks for the response, and that’s good advice. But I have already been seeing a doctor for over a year, and tried three different psych meds. Sorry but I should have made that clear. I’m hanging with it, but I feel pretty discouraged. Maybe I need another doctor.

But I will tell you I am truly angry with God. I know it’s not right or fair, He’s the last person I have any right to be angry with, but there it is.

Maybe meds aren’t the answer. They often aren’t. These kind of issues are much more complex than just giving people meds and they’re all better. You need to find, or at least consult, another doctor who can find ways to help you without medication.

 

[mdrummer5]

Thanks for the response, and that’s good advice. But I have already been seeing a doctor for over a year, and tried three different psych meds. Sorry but I should have made that clear. I’m hanging with it, but I feel pretty discouraged. Maybe I need another doctor.

I think it’s safe to say that a majority of us have been angy at God at some point in time or another.

I have a question though. Your current doctor, has he actually been talking through things with you to determine the cause of your anxiety or has he just thrown meds at you hoping for one that works?

 

[eleemosynary]

I think it’s safe to say that a majority of us have been angy at God at some point in time or another.

I have a question though. Your current doctor, has he actually been talking through things with you to determine the cause of your anxiety or has he just thrown meds at you hoping for one that works?

We do talk about stuff, but we aren’t connecting very well. Maybe I need another doctor.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

I’ll try to make this brief. I’m angry at God.

I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression over the last three years and it’s really hurting my marriage and family life and career. I’ve prayed to God for help with this and it doesn’t get any better. And I keep feeling further from God and less spiritually connected.

And the kicker is I came back to the church after being away for years, got my marriage straightened out, went to confession and received communion, my wife converted, we adopted a son and got him baptized. I feel like I did everything I was supposed to do and now I really need help and I’m getting nothing. I was really good with God for years OUTSIDE the church and I really felt like he was doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself. Now I’m back and He’s hanging me out to dry. I know this is the wrong attitude, but I can’t seem to shake this awful feeling. I know I don’t deserve anything for coming back to the Church, and everything good that I have was a gift from God, but I just plain need help and I’m sliding further and further and man it really hurts.

What do I do?

Please don’t tell me that happy garbage about God teaches you to walk or ride the bike and then you have to pedal yourself, or walk yourself or whatever. I crashed the bike.

I struggled with depression for a long time, and I still get angry at God in relation to what I regard as my lack of vocational opportunities. While I haven’t resolved the second issue, it took a Catholic psychiatrist to help with the depression. He put me on Prozac for about ten years and it worked. He is also very spritual, which helps as I’ve also had quite a number of spiritual experiences, and it’s a lot easier to relate to a psychiatrist who is quite prepared to accept the spiritual side of things as well.

When i was still a Protestant, I think my old pastor wanted me to see this particular psychiatrist but I refused, as i’d already been to two of them, and couldn’t see the sense in seeing another. Yet a few years after the old pastor died, the depression and some other issues became so pressing that another pastor made a recommendation, and I think it was the same psychiatrist he was referring to. This time I went, and it helped. I still see him a couple of times a year.

As someone else said, sometimes you need to find that particular person who can help, whether it be a professional, psychiatrist, specific priest, counsellor, or whatever. God often works through other people. It’s our job to find them. However if we are genuinely making the effort, God will often lead us to them, or them to us.

 

[hazcompat]

We do talk about stuff, but we aren’t connecting very well. Maybe I need another doctor.

Isn’t it woderful that our Loving Father invites us to walk with Him. Like Father Abraham He invites us to conversation and bears with our nothingness. I went through a time of Anger with God. My confessor was very helpful. For me it turned out to be a combination of fatigue, and an inability to express myself. Once I pretended I wasn’t angry…as if I could hide the truth from Him lol. Be not afraid. pray always. This is just for a time. Follow your doctors advice as if Jesus Himself were telling you what to do. Get as much actual grace as you can. Especially the Holy Eucharist. I will make a special intention for you.

peace

 

[styrgwillidar]

Maybe all the good is there but is being blocked by your depression. The first place I would start would be the doctor’s office to make sure it is being treated properly.
I hope you find that your perception of your life improves.

I can second that.

For the OP, Depression and anxiety both have physical causes, which, without treatement won’t go away. Additionally, medications can lose their effectiveness for a depressive and need to be replaced with different ones. It’s not uncommon for depressives to try several different drug regimens before finding the one that works for them on a long term basis.

Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? Both exercise and counseling have been shown to have similar effects on brain chemistry as anti-depressants. It’s why counseling in combination with drug treatments has been shown to be far more effective than either counseling or drugs alone. A rescource for you:

www.depressionfallout.org

I also recommend the books by Anne Sheffield listed on the website.