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Pentecost2005
Guest
If you’re going to be angry at anyone, it should be the physicians who “treated” your mother.
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Maryam
Guest
I can understand your feelings of loss… In a span of 2 years my mom lost 3 siblings to Cancer (2 brothers and one sister). It was a hard 2 years and our family could not understand why we were being hit with one death after another…
My mother’s sister was a very devout woman who was diagnosed too late with Breast Cancer and from chemotherapy developed Leukemia which finally killed her in the most cruel and painful way in which almost her whole body was covered in black bruises.
It is hard for us when we see good people who are close to God suffer so much, but, ** St. Teresa of Avila’s** words speak much truth… You have to keep in mind what she went through with the Inquisition, founding new convents and having friends like St. John of the Cross imprisoned… She suffered much and when dialoguing with Our Lord regarding suffering this is what Jesus said:
<<<When Jesus told her, “Teresa, that’s how I treat my friends” Teresa responded, **“No wonder you have so few friends.” **>>>>
To St. Teresa of Avila Jesus gave the heaviest crosses to those who were his Friends. So, don’t think of it as your mother being punished in how she suffered… You said your mother was a wonderful Christian woman and no one except for your mom could know just how close her relationship with Our Lord Jesus Christ was…
Be at peace and don’t beat yourself up on why she suffered… Suffering is redemptive and you can be sure that she is one of “Jesus’s Friends”
God Bless
My mother’s sister was a very devout woman who was diagnosed too late with Breast Cancer and from chemotherapy developed Leukemia which finally killed her in the most cruel and painful way in which almost her whole body was covered in black bruises.
It is hard for us when we see good people who are close to God suffer so much, but, ** St. Teresa of Avila’s** words speak much truth… You have to keep in mind what she went through with the Inquisition, founding new convents and having friends like St. John of the Cross imprisoned… She suffered much and when dialoguing with Our Lord regarding suffering this is what Jesus said:
<<<When Jesus told her, “Teresa, that’s how I treat my friends” Teresa responded, **“No wonder you have so few friends.” **>>>>
To St. Teresa of Avila Jesus gave the heaviest crosses to those who were his Friends. So, don’t think of it as your mother being punished in how she suffered… You said your mother was a wonderful Christian woman and no one except for your mom could know just how close her relationship with Our Lord Jesus Christ was…
Be at peace and don’t beat yourself up on why she suffered… Suffering is redemptive and you can be sure that she is one of “Jesus’s Friends”
God Bless
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maryj
Guest
It seems like a slap in the face to her, my dad, myself.
Oh boy, what I guess your missing in that point, is that being in heaven with our Lord, is what our great reward is. If we truly are doing work for the church, volunteering, taking care of social concerns,etc we are working towards our great reward. It isn’t about what others see us doing it is what our Lord can see inside of us. Not as man sees, does God see because man sees the appearance, but the Lord looks into the heart. Your heart is empty because you miss her presence, but please remember she has received her great reward, be happy for her. Grief subsides I promise, I lost my father when I was 21 years old, he had a heart attack at home and I did CPR on him until the paramedics arrived. We were not able to keep him here with us, but yes his presence is still in my life. It’s in the pew with me everytime I step into church, when I receive communion, each time I hear the Eucharistic prayer ( Remember Lord those who have gone before us marked with the sign of faith), I feel him now as I type this letter to you!!! Keep your faith, I promise it will help, it is the only thing that can help. You are in my prayers at mass today.
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katy
Guest
I can’t improve on the advice given so far, but I also have the experience of having my mom tell me about her mother, who died of cancer when my mom was 16. She told me stories, and about things my grandmother did–homey things that made her real to me. I wish I had known her in this life, but even tho that didn’t happen, I feel that I do know her in an important way, and look forward to actually being with her someday.
I was mad at God for taking my mother, also. She died of chemo-induced leukemia after years of fighting breast cancer. My thought was, “Why didn’t You just let her die of the disease instead of letting her go through all that and then die of the ghastly effects of chemo gone wrong? Are You a cosmic sadist of some sort?” I did not go to Mass for years, and struggled with the problem of evil and the meaning of suffering in general. I finally found the only meaning that made sense in the Crucifixion, which certainly made no sense at the time, and in the Catholic teaching that we can find meaning in our suffering by joining it to Christ’s. Watching JPII use his infirmity and death as an example was the final thing that helped me back to the Church after over 10 years. Also a faithful and understanding priest who heard my confession. There was no one to talk to; boards such as this one didn’t exist. I hope you find your way sooner than I did. Do have your child baptized, it may be part of your doorway to healing.
I was mad at God for taking my mother, also. She died of chemo-induced leukemia after years of fighting breast cancer. My thought was, “Why didn’t You just let her die of the disease instead of letting her go through all that and then die of the ghastly effects of chemo gone wrong? Are You a cosmic sadist of some sort?” I did not go to Mass for years, and struggled with the problem of evil and the meaning of suffering in general. I finally found the only meaning that made sense in the Crucifixion, which certainly made no sense at the time, and in the Catholic teaching that we can find meaning in our suffering by joining it to Christ’s. Watching JPII use his infirmity and death as an example was the final thing that helped me back to the Church after over 10 years. Also a faithful and understanding priest who heard my confession. There was no one to talk to; boards such as this one didn’t exist. I hope you find your way sooner than I did. Do have your child baptized, it may be part of your doorway to healing.
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Eileen_T
Guest
We are made for Heaven. Heaven is our goal.
My eldest child only lived five hours after birth. My father died at 64 due to a doctor giving him the wrong medication (it caused kidney failure). I have seen good people die young in accidents and from illness.
I miss my daughter and my father very much but I have come to realise they are closer to me now than they could be if still alive in this world rather than in the world that, for us, is still to come.
None of my children ever met their sister, but she is very real to them and we talk about her. We also talk about my Dad, tell stories about him and my father-in-law to keep them alive and real even for those who never had a chance to know them.
It took me 14 years to come to terms with my daughter’s death, which actually brought me closer to God, and now I am glad she is our prayer-warrior in heaven, looking out for her family and concerned for their salvation.
My eldest child only lived five hours after birth. My father died at 64 due to a doctor giving him the wrong medication (it caused kidney failure). I have seen good people die young in accidents and from illness.
I miss my daughter and my father very much but I have come to realise they are closer to me now than they could be if still alive in this world rather than in the world that, for us, is still to come.
None of my children ever met their sister, but she is very real to them and we talk about her. We also talk about my Dad, tell stories about him and my father-in-law to keep them alive and real even for those who never had a chance to know them.
It took me 14 years to come to terms with my daughter’s death, which actually brought me closer to God, and now I am glad she is our prayer-warrior in heaven, looking out for her family and concerned for their salvation.
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Catholic_Heart
Guest
I would like to second all JimO has said…But first, let me tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your Mother. My own dear Mom died in May of 2000, and I miss her more all the time. Only one of my soon to be five grandchildren has any real memories of her, and one just might remember a little. I hate it that she wasn’t here for the rest, and for the weddings of two granchildren, and the births of three more great-granchildren…She would have loved them all.
Yes…It IS OK to be angry with God…He certanily can take it. But… You don’t need to be angry with Him…He didn’t cause your Mom to die, and it wasn’t hm who misdiagnosed her illlness…He was there with her, all the while…just as she knew He would be.
Your dear mother would not want you to suffer like this, nor would she want you to deny your precious son his baptism. As Scripture says…“Harden not your heart”…but allow God to begin healing your terrible wounds.
Mayve you could find a good priest to talk with, or failing that, another person of great faith that you trust. Allow the wall you have built around yourself with anger to come tumbling down, and begin to find the peace you so desperately want.
I will keep you in my prayers…I know the hurt of losing a mother, and I know that the hurt never really goes away…You only learn to live with it, and you try to live as she would have wanted you to live. With faith.
Yes…It IS OK to be angry with God…He certanily can take it. But… You don’t need to be angry with Him…He didn’t cause your Mom to die, and it wasn’t hm who misdiagnosed her illlness…He was there with her, all the while…just as she knew He would be.
Your dear mother would not want you to suffer like this, nor would she want you to deny your precious son his baptism. As Scripture says…“Harden not your heart”…but allow God to begin healing your terrible wounds.
Mayve you could find a good priest to talk with, or failing that, another person of great faith that you trust. Allow the wall you have built around yourself with anger to come tumbling down, and begin to find the peace you so desperately want.
I will keep you in my prayers…I know the hurt of losing a mother, and I know that the hurt never really goes away…You only learn to live with it, and you try to live as she would have wanted you to live. With faith.
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maryj
Guest
I had a major realization at mass this morning, here we are talking about anger towards God when one of our loved ones is taken away, and as I sat and stared at that crucifix I apologized to God for not realizing yesterday when I posted that he was also a parent that lost a child, and what a horrible death he endured for all of us. I dare say I wouldn’t want to be asked to give up my child in such a manner, but I guess that’s what makes me hurt even the more. Thank you Lord, for showing us that out of grief comes the greatest light.
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Little_Mary
Guest
My mother died when I was 21 and she never knew my husband or children. She never saw me graduate from college.
I lost my 46 year old brother to Hurricane Katrina - he was young and brilliant and it was a waste.
I keep asking Why?
I say this so you know that you are not alone in your sorrow and anger.
In the darkest moments of my life, aside from the two deaths above (and I’ll spare you the other details!) I have prayed to God and the most enlightening thing I have ever said in prayer, and it has always been the most helpful as far as getting prayer "results"if you want to call them that is to say “Your will be done - I don’t understand this Lord, so you figure it out”
Go to Him, place yourself in His hands - angry and mourning as you are, don’t change a thing - and ask Him to work His will in you. Take this anger off your shoulders and give it to Him. He’ll take care of the rest.
I lost my 46 year old brother to Hurricane Katrina - he was young and brilliant and it was a waste.
I keep asking Why?
I say this so you know that you are not alone in your sorrow and anger.
In the darkest moments of my life, aside from the two deaths above (and I’ll spare you the other details!) I have prayed to God and the most enlightening thing I have ever said in prayer, and it has always been the most helpful as far as getting prayer "results"if you want to call them that is to say “Your will be done - I don’t understand this Lord, so you figure it out”
Go to Him, place yourself in His hands - angry and mourning as you are, don’t change a thing - and ask Him to work His will in you. Take this anger off your shoulders and give it to Him. He’ll take care of the rest.
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