Angry daughter and son in law

[kage_ar]

May I suggest you spend some time meditating on Proverbs 31?

There are godly working mothers, have been since the dawn of time. The “June Cleaver” image of mom at home baking cookies is part of the post-war American vision.

Working parents do have times when they are sad that they are away from their kids, that is natural. Your daughter needs your love and prayers and to know that you will think of her as a good mom, even if she does work outside the home.

Prayers that you and your daughter can come to some peace.

 

[rayne89]

I wasn’t trying to control her. YOu just don’t get it! I was supporting her…because she wants this too…basically I hit a cord and that is what got them angry…her husband is the one that wants her home. And I was supporting her…but she is so afriad if him she gets mad at me instead of telling him her feelings. AND I ASKED FOR NO MORE JUSTIFYING THEM AND SUPPORT FOR ME. Man., why can’t some people listen and respect my wishes. IF you think I was making the decision for her you are so off base it isn’t funny. To know me …you would know that I am strong minded…but NOT controlling. AND that is what my kids compliment me on. So, you are WRONG WRONG WRONG…the last rely…you are not hearing me.

Considering your response to criticism on the forum I can see where your daughter and son-in-law may reacted in the way they did. Is this your normal response when people disagree with you?

 

[PazFeAmor]

It was clear that jollyoki was ranting and there was nothing in her original post asking for the opinions of others. I think people need to lay off her and stop nitpicking why she didn’t put the word “rant” in her subject title. She is new here.

If you can’t see her post as an obvious rant and need to see it in the subject title then Just let her be and PRAY FOR HER AS SHE ASKED IN THE LAST LINE OF HER ORIGINAL POST.

jollyoki is obviously hurting and in attacking her do any of you think she won’t respond in kind? Just take it easy folks and don’t drive our sister away.

Those accusing jollyoki of wanting to be right are themselves in nitpicking her original post to pieces and keeping things going round in circles guilty of the same accusation in wanting to be right.

My prayers and SUPPORT are with you jollyoki, your daughter and her family.

Peace.

 

[JustAnotherThou]

It was clear that jollyoki was ranting and there was nothing in her original post asking for the opinions of others. I think people need to lay off her and stop nitpicking why she didn’t put the word “rant” in her subject title. She is new here.

If you can’t see her post as an obvious rant and need to see it in the subject title then Just let her be and PRAY FOR HER AS SHE ASKED IN THE LAST LINE OF HER ORIGINAL POST.

jollyoki is obviously hurting and in attacking her do any of you think she won’t respond in kind? Just take it easy folks and don’t drive our sister away.

Those accusing jollyoki of wanting to be right are themselves in nitpicking her original post to pieces and keeping things going round in circles guilty of the same accusation in wanting to be right.

My prayers and SUPPORT are with you, your daughter and her family.

Peace.

I 2nd!!!

 

[whatevergirl]

My oldest daughter is 7months pregeant told me she probably have the baby’s baptisn in Mexico…her husband is Mexican. And I e-mailed her and told her I was sad I would miss the babptisn of my only and first grandchild( I am chronically ill and disabled and can’t make the long distance) and I told her that if she put her baby before things she could stay at home and take care of her baby. Her husband just got a good paying job and Heather is a teacher. She can do things at home on the side like tudoring.She is a bi-lingual teacher in high demand for this and she also can teach night classes(She does now) so she can be home during the day. They take multiple trips each year,2 brand new vehicles,always the new electronic gagets bought, steak and always top foods,etc. It wouldnt take a whole lot of sacrifice for them for her to be home with the baby. Also, at Christmas time they came to my house and she told me she couldn’t afford to be home with the baby and was sad aboutit. I knew it was her husband behind it. I have always been a strong minded woman who tells my children the truth. I am strong but I do not attack verbally. Well, I got 8 e-mails attacking me. Alekz the husband said…,I was a failure in life,that I was a roller coaster of a disaster ,that I was jealous of Heahter and all these very vicous and mean things. Heather left 4 phone messages yelling at me how mean I was to say what I did. My other daughter tried to talk to Heather through e-mails and nothing moved her. I was NOT the one mean here. And I appologized for offending them more then twice.
Heather is justifying her husbands horrible behavior towards me by blaming me for what I said. WOW! the response I got was a shock and so hateful that you would of thought I said really horrible things. Now, here I am not allowed to see my first grandchild, all they say to me is how mean I am. And I know I raised heather to want to be a stay at home mom. She saw me sacrifice to stay home. One car,tight budget,etc. And she wouldn’t even have it nearly as hard as I had and I did not complain because I LOVED being home with my kids.It is so sad to me. Please pray for us,

Here is a cyber hug for you–I just wanted to add that I remember how hormonal I was at 7 months prego–with both of my kids. I don’t remember lashing out–but maybe I did…I need to ask my hubby. Not that I’m making excuses for your dd’s behavior, but hormones can make the best of us get a little testy now and again–I’m sure she didn’t mean harm to you. Maybe just calmly tell her your thoughts…and, say it like “I feel hurt when you…” Instead of…“You shouldn’t say…” I read somewhere a while back that that is the best way to end conflict. Things will work out–keep praying, and keep us posted.

 

[hasikelee]

Did you daughter leave the voicemails…is it her voice? Do you know that she emailed? Are you sure it is not the husband?

Perhaps you could avoid similar situations in the future by only talking about hot button or sensitive issues over the phone with your daughter, or face to face when she visits.

And I have never met someone who was mismanaging money who took advice well. There is usually a big sensitivity and insecurity wrapped up in certain monetary issues. That was walking into a minefield.

 

[4blessings]

It was clear that jollyoki was ranting and there was nothing in her original post asking for the opinions of others. I think people need to lay off her and stop nitpicking why she didn’t put the word “rant” in her subject title. She is new here.

If you can’t see her post as an obvious rant and need to see it in the subject title then Just let her be and PRAY FOR HER AS SHE ASKED IN THE LAST LINE OF HER ORIGINAL POST.

jollyoki is obviously hurting and in attacking her do any of you think she won’t respond in kind? Just take it easy folks and don’t drive our sister away.

Those accusing jollyoki of wanting to be right are themselves in nitpicking her original post to pieces and keeping things going round in circles guilty of the same accusation in wanting to be right.

My prayers and SUPPORT are with you jollyoki, your daughter and her family.

Peace.

AMEN!!! prayers headed your way jollyoki, and for those who got a little out of wack over your post. You gotta love CAF!

 

[byers]

jollyoki
I am shocked at so many of the responses I have read here as I can see you are too. Obviously you hit a nerve with more than just your daughter and husband.

I have always been a strong minded woman who tells my children the truth

Here is the key to the problem. You spoke the** truth **and it hit a nerve and set them off. Reading between the lines It appears to me that your son-in-law would like you out of the picture and not saying anything to influence your daughter in any way and would like to cause a permanent rift.

There over reaction to your speaking your opinion is way out of line. Your are entitled to have an opinion. They can just ignore your comment if they choose. But instead they have gone on a rampage against you because they didn’t like what you said.

Since you have already apologized there is not much more you can do now but pray. The birth of the baby may help some.

You will need to be very careful in the future and walk on eggshells and give no opinions on anything. They are not mature enough to handle that right now.

For the sake of your grandchild, try to patch things up and say nothing about anything again. What you say is correct and the truth but you cannot express it. Just pray for them all the time.

Just say things are different nowadays and that you did not mean to ‘criticize’ them that you support them in whatever they decide to do because this might have been good choice for you to be home with your children but for them it may be different. Something to that effect.

It sounds like your daughter is under much pressure.

Can you talk to a priest for his advice on repairing things?

Do anything to make amends and then try to stay on at least superficially good terms…and pray. I will pray for you now. God bless you.