Angry husband

[ADiosgracias]

As I grow in faith my husband began to grow in anger an jealousy.I reduced my weekdays Mass and I do not pray in front of him, but he says that I am very rigid in my belief and I became unbearable. He hate to use NFP. What can I do?

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

As I grow in faith my husband began to grow in anger an jealousy.I reduced my weekdays Mass and I do not pray in front of him, but he says that I am very rigid in my belief and I became unbearable. He hate to use NFP. What can I do?

Get into marriage and family therapy. If your husband won’t go, go by yourself.

Make and appointment with your priest. If you husband won’t go, go by yourself.

If praying in front of your husband angers him, if attending Mass bothers him, and if he thinks you’re “rigid” and “unbearable,” your marriage has more going on that can be adequately addressed in on online forum. You two need professional interventions. Today.

Luna

 

[joanofarc2008]

Get into marriage and family therapy. If your husband won’t go, go by yourself.

Make and appointment with your priest. If you husband won’t go, go by yourself.

If praying in front of your husband angers him, if attending Mass bothers him, and if he thinks you’re “rigid” and “unbearable,” your marriage has more going on that can be adequately addressed in on online forum. You two need professional interventions. Today.

Luna

Agreed.

 

[SummerSmiles]

I agree with the others–get into some marriage counseling. It may also be a good idea for you to talk with a priest about the spiritual matters. It can be a very difficult journey when one spouse grows in spirituality and the other does not seem to have any interest in that. You need to find a way for you to be able to grow in a healthy spirituality, without your husband feeling resentful or jealous over it. You both need to find some constructive ways to communicate this issue with each other, which marriage counseling will help with.

 

[Qwestions]

I am sorry that you two are experiencing these difficulties. Be fair, though, ADiosgracias, and make certain that you don’t “lord” your church/prayer time over him with pious comments and looks intended to make him squirm for what you see as his shortcomings. It’s far better for him to think that it’s uplifting and cheerful to be around you, than to make him feel he’s disappointing you or not living up to his potential or your expectations, even if that may be the case. Pray for the intercession of the saints and Our Blessed Virgin, but talk to the priest or someone he recommends to you. (Cover both bases!) All the while, try to be an example to your husband, so that he wants your inner peace, not that he is jealous of it. Be generous with smiles and try to make frowns and grumblings a thing of the past. (Just fret in your mind, but not out loud!) When we honestly believe that there’s no way for us to please someone we care about, it’s human nature for us to go out of our way to show that person that we don’t care what they think, and we oftentimes, in a childish display of hurt, try to hurt them by our cavalier display of not caring what they think, to the point of taunting them with our disrepect, sometimes. Please make sure you don’t allow your husband to feel cornered to the point that he lashes out at you in such an immature way. As husband and wife, you need to meld together, not break away from each other.

It’s understandable, and commendable, that you seek spiritual growth beyond that you understood at the time of your marriage. Even so, in order to honor your vows and strengthen his faith, your attitude toward your husband is of primary importance, so that you pull him along, making him want to share your experience, instead of behaving as he has done. Do get into counseling to help you with this problem and try to get him to go, too.

Good luck to you! I ask that all reading this thread pray for your success.

 

[ADiosgracias]

Thank you all for your advise. Of course I am talking this matter with a priest. And he told me that I’m in the correct path. But the relationship is getting worse. My husband said that I am the one who is changing and not him. And he is right.

 

[chepner3]

Often the question, “What can I do?” has an unspoken component which ends with, “What can I do … to change HIM?” Of course, the only person we can change is ourselves.

Apologize to your husband for allowing your Catholic journey cause a chasm in your marriage. Ask for him to give you time to show him that life can be otherwise. Then make sure that being Catholic makes you a more loving, understanding wife. Praise him often. Thank him for all he does. Appreciate having him in your life. Initiate intimacy when NFP allows and gently discourage it when it doesn’t. He doesn’t have to be included in the details. As to going to church, I’m pretty sure my husband rarely knows when I go. I either wake up very early on Sunday and let him sleep in or I go shopping on Saturday afternoon, go to church then come home ready to make a lovely dinner.

Being Catholic is not being pious or rigid. We can be rather fun and happy.

My goal is to see my husband convert. I want him to understand that being Catholic makes for an improvement in life.

 

[puzzleannie]

As I grow in faith my husband began to grow in anger an jealousy.I reduced my weekdays Mass and I do not pray in front of him, but he says that I am very rigid in my belief and I became unbearable. He hate to use NFP. What can I do?

get marriage counselling
this sounds like control issues, and it is not about religion. if you were losing weight and going to a gym he might react the same way.