Annullment

  • Thread starter Thread starter cmujake
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

cmujake

Guest
If a couple is divorced that were married in the Church, is it necessary to obtain an annullment prior to dating again?

I understand that it is necessary to receive an annullment in order to get married again, but wasn’t sure about dating.
 
cmujake said:
If a couple is divorced that were married in the Church, is it necessary to obtain an annullment prior to dating again?

I understand that it is necessary to receive an annullment in order to get married again, but wasn’t sure about dating.
Click to expand...
It’s a rather American question. In most of the world couples do not go through a state of being in datelock. I don’t know the answer for your particular culture. However I would presume dating is not acceptable, because you are assuming that the annullment will be granted. On the other hand, in reality most people apply for annullments because they have met someone else whom they intend to marry.
 
Malcolm_McLean said:
It’s a rather American question. In most of the world couples do not go through a state of being in datelock. I don’t know the answer for your particular culture. However I would presume dating is not acceptable, because you are assuming that the annullment will be granted. On the other hand, in reality most people apply for annullments because they have met someone else whom they intend to marry.
Click to expand...
I imagine that many people would seek an annullment because they intend to marry in the Church in the future; not necessarily because they have met someone that they intend to marry.
 
cmujake said:
If a couple is divorced that were married in the Church, is it necessary to obtain an annullment prior to dating again?

I understand that it is necessary to receive an annullment in order to get married again, but wasn’t sure about dating.
Click to expand...
If you don’t get an annulment you are still married in the eyes of the Church in most cases. So I would imagine that dating without an annulment would really be like cheating on your spouse and depending on how far you go, would constitute adultery.
 
As a divorced Catholic, dating is a temptation I don’t need. You might start out with a friendly dinner or something, but what happens then? A valid marriage isn’t going to be annulled. What then? I had enough pain in my marriage that I don’t plan to go looking for more.
 
yes you must get an annulment before “dating” if your divorced.
otherwise all you are doing is commiting the sin of adultery…as in the eyes of the CHurch you are still married;)
 
cmujake said:
If a couple is divorced that were married in the Church, is it necessary to obtain an annullment prior to dating again?

I understand that it is necessary to receive an annullment in order to get married again, but wasn’t sure about dating.
Click to expand...
the hypothetical couple in question is already married. married people may not date, so no, these folks cannot date.
 
I have a close friend, a young lady, in my Bible Study group. In sharing one evenining she said very soon after her divorce, she applied for and obtained an annulment. Her family told her she was nuts, however, it was the height of wisdom. She got it but has no immediate plans. I meet a lot of couples coming through RCIA who are in irregular marriages. They are often on “pin hooks” so to speak as they have already attempted a second marriage and have children. There is no guarantee that an annulment will be granted. As others here have said it is considered sinful to date around when as a Catholic your previous marriage has not been annulled. That appears to be a little known fact among many Catholics.
 
Karin said:
yes you must get an annulment before “dating” if your divorced.
otherwise all you are doing is commiting the sin of adultery…as in the eyes of the CHurch you are still married;)
Click to expand...
Enlighten a Brit.
Does dating mean “meeting with the presumption of sexual intercourse” or is it it what we call “going out?”.
 
Malcolm_McLean said:
Enlighten a Brit.
Does dating mean “meeting with the presumption of sexual intercourse” or is it it what we call “going out?”.
Click to expand...
Dating to me means “going out” with a member of the opposite sex that you are attracted to and who’s company you enjoy, while determining if both of you want to spend your lives together.

Dating to me does NOT mean “meeting with the presumption of sexual intercourse”. As part of Catholic doctrine, I do not believe in sex outside of marriage.
 
Let’s just clarify something here -

No one just goes out and “gets” an annulment. They are granted a Declaration of Nullity based on the findings of a Marriage Tribunal. It is not something (contrary to what some may think) that is just handed out. It is an investigation of the validity of a marriage at its onset. If and only if the marriage is determined to have been “NULL” from the beginning, then the couple is issued a Declaration of Nullity stating this fact.

And yes, if someone thinks they want to date then they should ensure that they are no longer in a valid marriage. A civil divorce has nothing to do with whether or not you are still married according to Canon Law.

If you were still with your spouse, would you ever consider dating? Just because you are no longer physically or emotionally with that person does not mean you are free to date other people, sex not withstanding. If you are still in a valid marriage you should behave that way.

~Liza
 
Dittos to daeve and palmas85 - dating another person after divorcing without a nullity declaration is well within the understanding of adultery as the antithesis of “forsaking all others”. Married people are not allowed to date, therefore, until/unless I receive a nullity declaration, I am not allowed to date another. I don’t even want to get started on that road without knowing that there is a possible “good” end to it. I’m not going to start casting the nets out until I know I can legitimately haul the catch back into the “home port”.
 
I’ll add my two cents here; Annulment has one L and even after receiving one I still find it hard to remember that. Not dating prior to one would be appropriate, however not necessarily the easy thing to do, especially in a culture that is lenient to new relationships. Sometimes we are called to take the narrow path however. A path with an open and clear mind to listen and to hear what God has planned. A time to wait and see instead of as a time to seek and find. The seeking and finding should be directed towards the way of the Cross.
 
cmujake said:
If a couple is divorced that were married in the Church, is it necessary to obtain an annullment prior to dating again?

I understand that it is necessary to receive an annullment in order to get married again, but wasn’t sure about dating.
Click to expand...
A person in the situation you describe is not free to date .How do they know they will receive a decree of nullity? You aren’t free to date until it has been proven and declared that no marriage took place.
 
patientone said:
I’ll add my two cents here; Annulment has one L and even after receiving one I still find it hard to remember that. Not dating prior to one would be appropriate, however not necessarily the easy thing to do, especially in a culture that is lenient to new relationships. Sometimes we are called to take the narrow path however. A path with an open and clear mind to listen and to hear what God has planned. A time to wait and see instead of as a time to seek and find. The seeking and finding should be directed towards the way of the Cross.
Click to expand...
This is really good advice. All too often people are hurt and lonely following a divorce. They look to a new relationship to solve their problems. Really though, what they need is time to heal and time to reflect, not only on what went wrong in their previous marriage but also on what they need to do to become the person that God wants them to be. I think as Catholics we are pretty fortunate that our Church is looking out for our well being. We have a Church that is willing to look into our failed marriage and to make a judgment as to whether or not it truly was a marriage or not. This process helps us to discover the truth.

As an added benefit it is a long process and requires us to spend much time reflecting on what took place all those years ago, to really address some troubling issues that we otherwise might brush, things that might seem trivial but are actually huge impediments to marriage. This process does much to ensure that we won’t quickly move from one marriage to the next without thinking long and hard about what a marriage really is.

I think if someone is willing to date before they have learned the truth about whether or not they really were validly married, they aren’t thinking clearly and they aren’t going to find anything of value by turning their back on God.
 
Thanks for everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut. I thought that was the answer (no dating until Annulment granted), but thought I’d ask. I guess I will be without romantic female company for awhile.
 
rwoehmke said:
I have a close friend, a young lady, in my Bible Study group. In sharing one evenining she said very soon after her divorce, she applied for and obtained an annulment. Her family told her she was nuts, however, it was the height of wisdom. She got it but has no immediate plans. I meet a lot of couples coming through RCIA who are in irregular marriages. They are often on “pin hooks” so to speak as they have already attempted a second marriage and have children. There is no guarantee that an annulment will be granted. As others here have said it is considered sinful to date around when as a Catholic your previous marriage has not been annulled. That appears to be a little known fact among many Catholics.
Click to expand...
I’ve done the same, sent in my request without any current intentions to date or remarry. (the process is not fun but it’s helpful, and I would suggest it to anybody!) I figured I would get it all done (divorce and nullity proceedings) in one fell swoop, it would spare me pain and worry down the road IF I ever meet somebody else.

A priest told me that 90% of folks wait until they want to remarry to file for annulment. I asked him about this because, the first few times I called the parish, the secretary wanted to know when my planned wedding was and sounded confused when I told her there was no wedding planned! Father suggested that it was wise to be in the 10% of folks who get it out of the way before “crunch time”.
 
cmujake said:
Thanks for everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut. I thought that was the answer (no dating until Annulment granted), but thought I’d ask. I guess I will be without romantic female company for awhile.
Click to expand...
CMUJake,
Look at it this way… It is a chance for you to get to know who you are and what you want in life. It is a chance to figure out what went wrong and what went right. It is a chance to figure out what is important to you. But most of all it is a time of healing and reconciling to God’s will…
 
There are priests and canon lawyers who will even say that there is “no need” to file for an anulment until one is at least considering a new marriage.:banghead:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top