Annulment accepted

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BeeRod

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I’ve checked my mail this morning and saw a package from my local Diocese. I knew what it was and felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I opened it up and saw my annulment is official. I’ve been waiting for this for so long that I don’t know if I should be happy or sad. I’m very overwhelmed right now. The past is now buried and the key’s thrown away. I can now focus on planning my wedding with the man I love and get married the right away.
 
Congratulations. It would be very normal for you to feel both happy and sad at the same time, we can have more than one emotion at once.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Congratulations. It would be very normal for you to feel both happy and sad at the same time, we can have more than one emotion at once.
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It’s more happiness than sorrow. My ex was very manipulative and controlling. It took all of my inner strength to finally leave him. After meeting my current FI and started my journey back home, I knew the annulment is needed. The sadness is mostly from all the stress I’ve been feeling while waiting for that decision (even though it’s “Lack of Canonical Form”) and the fear my ex will hunt me down because of this.
 
Congratulations. Good luck with your marriage and with RCIA. You are certainly moving your life in a new and positive direction. Things are bound to get better.
 
BeeRod said:
It’s more happiness than sorrow. My ex was very manipulative and controlling. It took all of my inner strength to finally leave him. After meeting my current FI and started my journey back home, I knew the annulment is needed. The sadness is mostly from all the stress I’ve been feeling while waiting for that decision (even though it’s “Lack of Canonical Form”) and the fear my ex will hunt me down because of this.
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Congrats and take care to do everything needed to prevent that final thought…
Blessings and safekeeping…
 
cheezey said:
Congrats and take care to do everything needed to prevent that final thought…
Blessings and safekeeping…
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Trust me, I’m a lot stronger than when I was when I was 19 (I’m 30 now).

I don’t know how my ex lives with himself. When I filed for divorce, he claimed he was “dying” of cancer. And I believed him because even though I was filing, I still have a heart and only wished nothing but the best. Then he “died”, which saddened me. However, his family wouldn’t allow me to pay my respects. 5 1/2 years later (or 6 months ago), I would find out not only is he alive, but arrested for insurance fraud. That’s when I told my BF (now FI) that an annulment is needed. When I filed the paperwork, I was scared that the Tribunal will give my current address to his family. Good thing that hasn’t happened… yet. Besides, we live in two different states now (ex lives in NY, I live in PA).
 
BeeRod said:
Trust me, I’m a lot stronger than when I was when I was 19 (I’m 30 now).

I don’t know how my ex lives with himself. When I filed for divorce, he claimed he was “dying” of cancer. And I believed him because even though I was filing, I still have a heart and only wished nothing but the best. Then he “died”, which saddened me. However, his family wouldn’t allow me to pay my respects. 5 1/2 years later (or 6 months ago), I would find out not only is he alive, but arrested for insurance fraud. That’s when I told my BF (now FI) that an annulment is needed. When I filed the paperwork, I was scared that the Tribunal will give my current address to his family. Good thing that hasn’t happened… yet. Besides, we live in two different states now (ex lives in NY, I live in PA).
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Well, I don’t think there’s reason why they would have done so in the past, and especially no reason to do so now that the annulment is final. It’s not, if memory serves, like a normal court case or application where an address for each party is required in order that each party may serve documents on the other. Even civilly, you can normally request that your address not be disclosed to the other party if you fear for your safety.
 
What a piece of work!! I’m so thankful you are away from him.

The Tribunal can protect you and not give out your address.
 
BeeRod said:
his family wouldn’t allow me to pay my respects. 5 1/2 years later (or 6 months ago), I would find out not only is he alive, but arrested for insurance fraud.
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I guess that would explain why they wouldn’t let you see him…:rolleyes:

Good riddance to him, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
 
Irishmom2 said:
I guess that would explain why they wouldn’t let you see him…:rolleyes:

Good riddance to him, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
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His family was never nice to me to begin with, being from a different ethnicity and whatnot. And yet, it was me who offered nothing but kindness to them. It was cruel on their part for covering it up.

Anyway, no more dwelling on the past. I have an amazing guy that I can not wait to spend the rest of my life with. Even my mother said this upcoming marriage is the real deal (she never considered my first one a real marriage anyway).
 
BeeRod,

Um, how long did take? I am sure this process is quite variable, but…

thanks
 
cheezey said:
BeeRod,

Um, how long did take? I am sure this process is quite variable, but…

thanks
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I got the application in early November. Then I received my updated baptismal certificate via mail a week later and my marriage certificate two weeks after that (there was a delay because of the damage from Hurricane Sandy). I turned in the paperwork on November 30 and got the papers today. So it’s about 5 weeks. It’s usually 3-4 weeks but I’m sure the extra week was because of the holidays.
 
BeeRod said:
I got the application in early November. Then I received my updated baptismal certificate via mail a week later and my marriage certificate two weeks after that (there was a delay because of the damage from Hurricane Sandy). I turned in the paperwork on November 30 and got the papers today. So it’s about 5 weeks. It’s usually 3-4 weeks but I’m sure the extra week was because of the holidays.
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I am glad it went fairly quickly; though I am sure it was not quick enough for you! Waiting is tough, but I thought it was an even longer process…Thank you for the info!!!
 
cheezey said:
I am glad it went fairly quickly; though I am sure it was not quick enough for you! Waiting is tough, but I thought it was an even longer process…Thank you for the info!!!
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Note that it’s “Lack of Canonical Form”, so it’s meant to be done quickly if you turn in everything. All the Tribunal needs to know if you’re a baptized Catholic who married outside the Church (like City Hall) and never had the marriage blessed after that. A full annulment takes up to a year.
 
BeeRod said:
Note that it’s “Lack of Canonical Form”, so it’s meant to be done quickly if you turn in everything. All the Tribunal needs to know if you’re a baptized Catholic who married outside the Church (like City Hall) and never had the marriage blessed after that. A full annulment takes up to a year.
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OH!! New to this!! Thank you!
 
wow…and I thought mine was bad…It’s a good thing we are all such charitable loving Catholics on here - imagine what would be said about him on any other site.
 
joanofarc2008 said:
wow…and I thought mine was bad…It’s a good thing we are all such charitable loving Catholics on here - imagine what would be said about him on any other site.
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Put it this way, it would get anyone banned here.

But come on, why would anyone fake their own death? It’s just cruel!
 
BeeRod said:
Put it this way, it would get anyone banned here.

But come on, why would anyone fake their own death? It’s just cruel!
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Human behavior is fascinating. And yes, it is cruel…
I had heard that a friend of mine had died. Had no reason to doubt validity; we had strayed because sometimes life just does that. I moved away for unrelated reasons. Came back for a visit, Boom there he was!!! Grabbed him, hugged him. “Who said I was dead?” “Um, a relative of yours, actually.” Yikes… I am guessing a relative with some serious animosity or a really sick and cruel agenda…
 
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