Annulment Advise

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Klsears00

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Hi. This is my first time posting to Catholic Answers.

I want to discuss annulment with my Mother-in-law to help her get back in communion with the Church. A good 30 years ago her husband cheated on her and they divorced. Then around 20 years ago she met her current husband. Her current husband’s previous wife cheated on him with the pastor of their non-denominational church.

So, discussing annulment with here would be more clear cut and I can see how that’s something that has a chance at successfully happening. However, her current husband isn’t Catholic and, needless to say, he may have some trust issues with priests and pastors. His marriage could likely have been a valid marriage, but my question is how would his marriage be handled regarding annulment. If the religion he was married in doesn’t have a means to annulment, would he, or could he, still need to go through the Catholic church annulment process to be able to have his marriage to my mother-in-law blessed as a sacramental marriage.

I feel comfortable with bringing up annulment of her marriage, but I’d hate to have her go through the process only to find no way to a blessed marriage if he can’t get an annulment.

I’d like to have as many answers as I can before approaching her with the idea.

Merry Christmas!

Kevin
 
Klsears00 said:
Hi. This is my first time posting to Catholic Answers.

I want to discuss annulment with my Mother-in-law to help her get back in communion with the Church. A good 30 years ago her husband cheated on her and they divorced. Then around 20 years ago she met her current husband. Her current husband’s previous wife cheated on him with the pastor of their non-denominational church.

So, discussing annulment with here would be more clear cut and I can see how that’s something that has a chance at successfully happening. However, her current husband isn’t Catholic and, needless to say, he may have some trust issues with priests and pastors. His marriage could likely have been a valid marriage, but my question is how would his marriage be handled regarding annulment. If the religion he was married in doesn’t have a means to annulment, would he, or could he, still need to go through the Catholic church annulment process to be able to have his marriage to my mother-in-law blessed as a sacramental marriage.

I feel comfortable with bringing up annulment of her marriage, but I’d hate to have her go through the process only to find no way to a blessed marriage if he can’t get an annulment.

I’d like to have as many answers as I can before approaching her with the idea.

Merry Christmas!

Kevin
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The best thing would to meet with a priest
 
If they both have previous marriages then they both need to pursue declarations of nullity. If your mother-in-law is interested in returning to the sacraments then she should make an appointment with a priest to find out exactly what both of them will need to do.
 
I would suggest you read the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster before you discuss anything with your MIL. I think you need to understand decrees of nullity a bit more yourself.

Infidelity is not grounds for nullity, per se. And, yes, it the Catholic Church who would need to examine the cases of both parties. Neither was free to contract a marriage at the time. So, they would both have to be declared free to marry, which might in fact take a decree of nullity for each of them.

What a non-Catholic church or civil government has to say about the past marriage is irrelevant. The Catholic Church will have to do a full investigation of the facts. Baptismal status, prior marriage(s) of either parties and their prior spouses, etc, all are factors.

I would suggest you encourage your MIL to speak to her pastor about her situation, but trying to discuss the details is not a good idea as you do not have all the facts.

HTH
 
My wife and I went through the annulment process and found it to be a very positive experience. The people we worked with at the tribunal were compassionate and treated us as if they wanted the best for us. We also found it very helpful to reflect honestly on our first marriages. We try to tell anyone who is looking at the annulment process that they should go into it anticipating two things - first, an opportunity for some honest reflection and second, an opportunity for tremendous growth both as individuals and as a couple.
 
Thanks for the replies. I’ll learn more about annulments before I talk with her. I already know she has some misconceptions about it and I may need to help her get past those issues before I can even get her to see a priest.

Thanks,
Kevin
 
Klsears00 said:
Thanks for the replies. I’ll learn more about annulments before I talk with her. I already know she has some misconceptions about it and I may need to help her get past those issues before I can even get her to see a priest.

Thanks,
Kevin
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Has your mother-in-law expressed an interest in this, or is it something you would like her to do?
 
This is one of those situations where it is pretty clear cut from the facts stated that there is no grounds for an annulment apparent on the surface. (An affair after the wedding is considered sinful and the innocent spouse has the right to separate but remain married to the offending spouse, but such an action of itself is not grounds for an annulment.)A parish priest would say there is no case. A canon lawyer would say that there might be (like if the affair was ongoing since the time both were courting and continued into the marriage and ended when it was discovered or) on grounds that only the MIL or Father would know about.

The annulment process can be very invasive because the questionnaires are geared towards searching for grounds on behalf of people who don’t know what in their histories would red flag grounds. For example, questions may bring up the fact that someone went into the marriage determined to not have children unless they felt it was the right time no matter what the other wanted or insisted on. That would be grounds for an annulment but unless the couple were childless, no one on the outside and probably the couple themselves wouldn’t suspect that that would be a ground. Since this happened so long ago, it might be possible that living as brother and sister would be a more feasible arrangement so that the Catholic spouse might be able to receive Communion.

Parish priests are not trained enough in canon law (they typically take two courses vs. the 3 years canon lawyers take) to give solid advice about annulments in many cases. Your MIL is free to consult canon lawyers at the local chancery office (for free) to see if she has a case. She is also welcome to try the brother-sister solution.
 
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