There are not two women in this scenario. Nor will there ever be two women in this scenario. At worst, there will be one woman and a man who has decided to have his body mutilated and is abusing himself with hormones.Two women cannot be married, if he chooses to do his thing then seek an annulment, or at the least a legal separation. If you desire another marriage down the road then an annulment! Not healthy for you to stay in this relationship. IMHO This is pure selfishness on his part.
Wow. That is an absolutely fascinating and horrifying scenario…and one that I have not even envisioned before.My husband has recently revealed to me that he is struggling through an issue I never thought would enter my life. He believes he is a transgender. He thinks he should be a woman and he tells me that most of the time he is pretending he is a woman. He doesn’t seem that way to me, he has always been masculine and the man in our relationship. I told him I would never leave him. Now he repeatedly asks me if I will leave him. For awhile I kept reassuring him that I would not, because I do love him and I take my marriage vows seriously and believe that this is the man I am supposed to be with…
Then I found out the extent to which he is researching “transitioning” himself into a woman. He has been searching for sex change operations, looking up the medications/hormones he needs to take, he has doctors names and payment methods researched, he’s been talking to transgender “counselors” over the phone (a former man that remained married to his wife with their 3 children after a transition), and he is constantly messaging in groups and discussing methods of transitioning at all hours of the day and night. He asks me strange questions constantly. Asking if he could grow his hair out and dress up, asking if he could get his facial hair removed by laser, and various other things I just can’t process right now.
Now I have made it clear to him that I will never leave the man I married, but if he was no longer a man I couldn’t stay. We do not have children of our own yet and at this time I am unwilling to have a baby as I do not want to bring children into this, I do not think it would be right to bring a child in when my husband wants to go and change himself into a woman. He has said it would be better if he just killed himself, he feels awful and doesn’t want to hurt me. I have made him promise not to hurt himself, I do not believe that he will.
I do not know what to do anymore. I cry every day and I drink every night. I am miserably unhappy because I don’t want to lose him, but if he keeps going down this path I will. What are my obligations as a practicing Catholic if my husband goes through with a sex change operation? I do not believe I could stay married to him and live with myself at that point, but what would the Church say if I left him, or even divorced him? Would I be granted an annulment? At what point do I draw the line? I can find no answers anywhere. From everything he is saying to me and reading about online and through phone conversations with transgender people it seems he now believes the only thing that will ever give him peace is to go through with a sex change operation. He has told me that the Church will allow this in extreme circumstances but he would then need to go to confession and live celibate. That certainly isn’t okay with me, and I have told him that it will rob me of future children and of my husband.
I have thought about going to see my priest but I am so embarrassed and ashamed and I just can’t imagine this is the kind of thing my pastor talks about on a daily basis. And honestly, I don’t think I could show my face any more at that church if someone knew. He has been going to confession but he doesn’t come back from it with any apparent change. I am writing on here because I have not been able to talk to anyone at all about this, there is no one I would trust with this kind of information. I am hoping someone can offer some words that would help or at the very least say a prayer for my husband and our family.
Yes, unfortunately I agree. He married you under false, fraudulent pretenses, without full disclosure of this struggle. If you married a man, and now that man thinks he is a woman, that to me, is a completely legitimate reason to invalidate a marriage (after all the Catholic Church champions heterosexual marriage right?), and to my knowledge the CC will grant an annulment in these circumstances.If he knew he had these feelings before you married and did not disclose them that is an impediment to a valid marriage. I would seek an annulment, you absolutely have criteria for it -but you must divorce first. Do not not sacrifice your future children. This man knew these things and told you nothing. Why on earth would he put another woman through this after he already created one broken family?
Yes, unfortunately I agree. He married you under false, fraudulent pretenses, without full disclosure of this struggle. If you married a man, and now that man thinks he is a woman, that to me, is a completely legitimate reason to invalidate a marriage (after all the Catholic Church champions heterosexual marriage right?), and to my knowledge the CC will grant an annulment in these circumstances.
I will not even begin to attempt to understand how you feel. It must be immense and I am very sorry. But this is the type of thing in which you must cut your losses and move on.
Think of the rest of your life, and your future family. Don’t let the rest of your life be destroyed because of this.
This is incredibly heartbreaking, but **you should find a sense of freedom in the fact that your marriage is now invalid. As a result, you have no further moral obligation with this man. **
The people of CAF, Catholic or not, will help you move on.
Please do not be afraid to talk to your church about this. Any true church would be understanding and not condemning. Any pastor or priest should be aware of how much trouble there is in this world, and many have “been there and done that” before being pastors or priests–they are not as naive and sheltered as you think. I know that in Protestantism, many churches hire pastors who have had very troubled pasts (even former gang members), because troubled people understand the world better than sheltered people. I’m sure that at least some Catholic priests have troubled pasts.
No. You are wrong…this sick homosexual male wants to believe he is female and the likelyhood of that ever happeing is…0.000000000000000% x 10nth power% of ever happening. This is reality. There were as you recall…Unfortunately, there is no treatment for transgenderism, but that is because transgenderism is not a disease; it is a normal trait for a small percentage of people. Coptic is in a small minority among doctors with respect to this issue. As you know, most of the medical field disagrees with him, and I believe rightfully so.
10,555 Psychiatrists that did not agree with changing the DSM to remvoe homosexuality from the DSM andTotal APA members eligible to vote: 17,905
Number of APA members that actually voted: 10,555
Number of members that “Abstained”: 367
Number of “ No” votes-votes to keep “homosexuality” in the DSM as a mental disorder: 3,810
Number of “Yes” votes-votes to remove “homosexuality” from the DSM as a mental disorder: 5,854
In Christianity, gay sex and relationships are forbidden in one’s personal life; there is little room for debate about that.
Think about that before deciding to stay with him.
woman married to man. Man will always be man regardless of castration and dangerous hormones.One more thing, which may have been said in earlier posts, is that your husband is, by logical reasoning, asking you to change your sexual orientation to gay.