Annulment and Marriage Question

[Lance13]

Hi, I’m a Catholic looking to live closer to the tenants of my faith. I was civilly married (courthouse only, no church) in 2010 and have lived together with my wife ever since. She is baptized Christian but is not Catholic and at least at this time does not want to become Catholic. I had a previous marriage annulled (approved Catholic annulment), and my current wife was previously married in the early 90’s for a couple of years prior to divorce. Her prior marriage was not a religious ceremony of any kind. My wife had a son (only child) from this relationship but neither my wife nor my step-son have any contact with her ex-husband.

My question: what would my wife and I need to do to be married in the Catholic Church? I have heard from some that my wife’s prior marriage would need to be annulled, even though it was not a Catholic wedding or in fact a religious ceremony of any kind. Is that true? Likewise, how would the fact that we live together be handled? Am I right in understanding that my wife would not need to be to be Catholic to get married in the church? Are there any other things I should consider?

Thank you in advance for the guidance!

 

[Vico]

… what would my wife and I need to do to be married in the Catholic Church? …

This requires an appointment with a pastor to evaluate, both must be free to marry and have the proper consent. If freedom to marry is found for both, then a convalidation is in order.

 

[BTypical]

I have heard from some that my wife’s prior marriage would need to be annulled, even though it was not a Catholic wedding or in fact a religious ceremony of any kind. Is that true?

If she was a baptized Christian prior to the wedding, the marriage probably needs to be annulled. The grounds will partly depend on whether her ex-husband was also a baptized Christian (if he wasn’t, she may be able to use the informal process via Petrine or Pauline privilege). Your priest will know for sure.

 

[JulianN]

If she was a baptized Christian prior to the wedding, the marriage probably needs to be annulled. The grounds will partly depend on whether her ex-husband was also a baptized Christian (if he wasn’t, she may be able to use the informal process via Petrine or Pauline privilege). Your priest will know for sure.

No. It does not matter if she was baptized or not, nor whether her husband was. That would only affect whether the marriage was sacramental.

The OP will need to speak with his pastor, but from the facts presented, his wife will need to have her previous marriage investigated.

 

[1ke]

I have heard from some that my wife’s prior marriage would need to be annulled, even though it was not a Catholic wedding or in fact a religious ceremony of any kind. Is that true?

Yes it is true that she is not free to marry right now.

Her first marriage would need to be examined. What path that takes depends on a number of factors including the baptismal status of her ex. It could be a tribunal case for nullity, but it could be something else depending on a number of factors.

Am I right in understanding that my wife would not need to be to be Catholic to get married in the church?

Correct.

Likewise, how would the fact that we live together be handled?

Pastorally, especially considering you have a child in the home. Talk to your priest.

 

[1ke]

No. It does not matter if she was baptized or not, nor whether her husband was.

Actually it does, for the reason the other poster stated— the use of the favor of the faith. Also if the ex was a Catholic then there is an invalid marriage for lack of form.

 

[Lance13]

Thank you all for the feedback! My wife understands that this is important to me, while at the same time is anxious about the burden on her to make it happen. It sounds like quite a bit might come down to the discretion of the particular priest assisting us in the process. A couple of follow-up questions:

*What does it mean for my wife’s former marriage to be “examined”? Does this entail the whole annulment process? If this could be resolved short of a full annulment is there a way to do so that does not involve her ex-husband?

*What is a convalidation exactly?

*My wife and her ex-husband were both baptized Christians, though neither in the Catholic church, how would this affect the process?

*1ke mentioned that the fact that my wife and I live together would be handled “pastorally”, what does that mean exactly? My step-son (now 27) does not live with us, if it matters. Refraining from sexual relations would be do-able, but having to live apart for some period of time might be a deal-breaker. Guess I’m hoping “pastorally” means something other than that.

Thank you all again for the assistance!

 

[BTypical]

*What does it mean for my wife’s former marriage to be “examined”? Does this entail the whole annulment process? If this could be resolved short of a full annulment is there a way to do so that does not involve her ex-husband?

There’s no such thing as “short of a full annulment,” and your wife’s ex-husband has to be offered the opportunity to participate in the process. If there was abuse (i.e., criminal charges), her address can be withheld from him, but you can’t avoid involving him altogether. That said, HE can choose not to participate in the process.

My formerly abusive, non-Catholic ex-husband, who himself has remarried, surprised me when he said, “look, just have them send me whatever they need and I’ll sign off. As long as it’s that simple I don’t mind.” It was his way of apologizing to me for the abuse; and as a result, my defect-in-form petition went through faster than the diocese predicted it would.

Your priest can advise what, specifically, your wife will need and whether she can use the formal or informal process. But both are annulments, and both require notification of the ex-spouse. You cannot get around that one.

What is a convalidation exactly?

Theologically, it’s when you and your wife exchange your marital consent after being freed to marry. From the Church’s standpoint, that’s when your marriage begins (and not before). Most couples have a small family-and-close-friends ceremony that looks like a renewal of wedding vows to non-Catholics. (Catholics can do a vow renewal as well, but that’s something different.)

My wife and her ex-husband were both baptized Christians, though neither in the Catholic church, how would this affect the process?

Marriages between two baptized Christians are generally considered sacramental and thus a declaration of nullity is necessary for remarriage. Exceptions apply, which is why folks here are telling you to meet with the priest to get a final determination of the specifics in your case. But I’ll be honest – exceptions are exactly that. They’re not commonplace.

1ke mentioned that the fact that my wife and I live together would be handled “pastorally”, what does that mean exactly?

In a broad sense, it means your pastor (i.e., priest) would work out the situation with you, since everyone’s situation, needs and capabilities are different. There’s not going to be a cut-and-dried solution or resolution.

 

[1ke]

It sounds like quite a bit might come down to the discretion of the particular priest assisting us in the process.

No, not really. The nullity process is standardized by canon law.

What does it mean for my wife’s former marriage to be “examined”?

It means that she fills out a questionnaire with pertinent information and provides as much info as she can, then the tribunal will help with whether this would proceed as a nullity case or something else.

If it proceeds to a nullity case then she and witnesses complete additional questions. The ex is given the opportunity to participate but doesn’t have to.

If this could be resolved short of a full annulment is there a way to do so that does not involve her ex-husband?

Maybe.

What is a convalidation exactly?

Exchange of new consent in the Catholic form. It makes your marriage valid.

My wife and her ex-husband were both baptized Christians, though neither in the Catholic church, how would this affect the process?

It would Either a full tribunal process, or the Petrine privilege.

1ke mentioned that the fact that my wife and I live together would be handled “pastorally”, what does that mean exactly? My step-son (now 27) does not live with us, if it matters. Refraining from sexual relations would be do-able, but having to live apart for some period of time might be a deal-breaker.

That’s what I mean by Pastoral, you shouldn’t be asked to separate physically. You’ve been married for many years, have a financial considerations, and I thought you had a child at home. But I was mistaken.

What I mean is that your pastor will counsel you on the matter.

 

[1ke]

There’s no such thing as “short of a full annulment,”

Yes, there is.

A person might apply for favor of the faith, which is a dissolution of the bond, not a decree of nullity.

 

[Sursumcorda1]

Your wife’s first marriage would have to be examined by the tribunal especially concerning the baptismal status of the first husband in any church. If neither one was Catholic, it might be considered a formal case with the fact that it was a secular union (married by civil authority) making it a quick annulment decision since there is lack of canonical form. Once she gets an annulment, you can get a convalidation as long as you both promise to bring up children as Catholic although I don’t know about stepchildren.

 

[JulianN]

. If neither one was Catholic, it might be considered a formal case with the fact that it was a secular union (married by civil authority) making it a quick annulment decision since there is lack of canonical form.

If neither one was Catholic, there was no canonical form to follow.

 

[Lance13]

Thank you all again, very much appreciate the information!