Annulment and state of Grace

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Petermn

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Hello
I am recently sadly divorced but happily just being recieved into the Catholic Church - a strange combinaltion maybe!!
My priest suggested that annulment may be a straight forward proceedure in my case but I declined as I have no plans to re-marry.
After some thought and as I am studying theolgy at uni, I wondered if an annulment places me in a higher state of grace and in a better position for any future opportuninties within the church after my training.
Is annulment only concerned with marriage and re-marriage or would it also place me in a ‘clearer’ position within the Catholic Church?
Or to put it another way:
Am I in the same state of grace divorced and celebate as I would be after having an annulment and being single and celebate?

Thanks

Peter
 
Petermn said:
Is annulment only concerned with marriage and re-marriage or would it also place me in a ‘clearer’ position within the Catholic Church?
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It is not solely about marrying again. If you were to consider a vocation to the religious life (brother, priest, deacon) it would be necessary to have a decree of nullity.

Remember, as time goes on, witnesses become difficult to locate, memory fades, records are lost. It is wise to pursue a decree of nullity now. If you are young and in university, you cannot say what your situation will be in 5, 10, etc, years.

Better to know your canonical status now. That way, you know if you are free to date in the future or not. Many put the dating before the decree of nullity and then find themselves in a pickle if their decree of nullity is not granted.
 
Thank you for that 1ke.

I am certainly not young but I am studying and your comments make sense. I will let my Priest know that I wish to explore annulment.

Thank you
 
Remember, as time goes on, witnesses become difficult to locate, memory fades, records are lost.
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Amen to that. After 25 years, I could only find one person who could witness to the relationship between me and… what do you call the person you turn out not to have been married to?

Get on it! 😃

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
An annulment only expresses in the external forum a reality that already exists in the internal forum, so I don’t see how an annulment can affect your state of grace.
 
Petermn said:
After some thought and as I am studying theolgy at uni, I wondered if an annulment places me in a higher state of grace and in a better position for any future opportuninties within the church after my training. “Higher” state of grace? While there are those who are more or less pietistic as evidenced by their behavior and example, grace isn’t rung up on a cash register or calculator. If, after your courses you are considering the priesthood or becoming a religious brother, then yes, you would need a decree of nullity.
Is annulment only concerned with marriage and re-marriage or would it also place me in a ‘clearer’ position within the Catholic Church? It is concerned with declaring a putative marriage null, or not have existed,due to a variety of reasons, as detemined by a tribunal.
Or to put it another way:
Am I in the same state of grace divorced and celebate as I would be after having an annulment and being single and celebate? Yes. But follow 1ke’s advice and get one now while this is all still fresh in your mind and you know where people live. And your putative spouse will be contacted by the tribunal but generally does not have to participate for you to obtain your decree.

Thanks

Peter
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Petermn said:
Hello
I After some thought and as I am studying theolgy at uni, I wondered if an annulment places me in a higher state of grace and in a better position for any future opportuninties within the church after my training.
Is annulment only concerned with marriage and re-marriage or would it also place me in a ‘clearer’ position within the Catholic Church?
Click to expand...
no there is no higher state of grace to be attained by seeking an annulment. The only sense in which you would be in a ‘clearer’ position with the church would be should you seek to marry again, or should you seek to enter a religious order or the priesthood. You are fully in the state of grace through your reception of the sacraments and remain that way until you sin, when of course you are restored in the sacrament of reconciliation.

if you envision, even remotely, the need to have the validity of your marriage determined for these or any other reasons, in the future, it is best to proceed now, while witnesses, facts and paperwork are readily available. Otherwise, it does not matter.
 
Thank you for all the comments, its most helpful to read about these issues which directly relate to my situation.
The next thing of-course is children, we have two lovely daughters aged 6 and 11. I do understand that if we get the marriage nullified the girls will NOT be condidered illigitamate. I havent looked deeply into the theology of that but I’m just thankful that this appears to be the case.
Peter
 
I realize this probably isn’t one of the first things that comes to mind, but an annulment might be useful to your former spouse- she may wish to remarry and not know the protocol. Even if you don’t want to remarried, non-Catholics need an annulments after a divorce.
 
Petermn said:
Thank you for all the comments, its most helpful to read about these issues which directly relate to my situation.
The next thing of-course is children, we have two lovely daughters aged 6 and 11. I do understand that if we get the marriage nullified the girls will NOT be condidered illigitamate. I havent looked deeply into the theology of that but I’m just thankful that this appears to be the case.
Peter
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See
Can. 1061 . . .
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§3. An invalid marriage is called putative if at least one party celebrated it in good faith, until both parties become certain of its nullity.
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and
Can. 1137 The children conceived or born of a valid or putative marriage are legitimate.
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I am in the process of doing an annulment of my marriage. Many years have passed and my main witness is my mother who says she doesn’t remember anything when I ask her questions about my marriage. She may be useless as a witness.
My two sisters who would be great witnesses don’t like me presently so I am not be able to use them as witnesses.
My brother who likes me very much is too ill with cancer and may die soon. I don’t want to tramatize him with having to support me as a witness.
My ex-husband is an alcoholic presently so he is useless.

All the neighbors and friends that we used to know have moved away so I can’t use them as witnesses.

The only thing I can do is use my medical doctor and therapists as my witnesses.

I waited too long to get the annulment. I don’t plan to get married again. I just want the annulment to free me from my ex-spouse. Plus, he will be free to marry his present wife in the Catholic Church.

The questions are very easy to answer and some of the questions didn’t even apply to me so it is very easy to write it all down and get your witnesses.

I don’t lose anything if I don’t get the annulment because I like being single and free from a marriage.
I am in God’s Grace which feels really good.
Even with no witnesses I think God will help me get my annulment based on the facts.
 
Good points and LaLucia thanks for sharing your situation with me.
My ex wife is lapsed Catholic and although I dont think she understands the concept of unnulment I think she fancies the idea because she could marry her next husband in a Catholic Church if that what they decide.
After all this excellent advice I have definatly decided to get an annulment if possible. I’m not in a mad rush but as has been pointed out - better to do it whilst its all fresh.
I do need a bit more information on the subject of my two daughters but I’m sure my priest will advise me when I see him.
Good luck with your situation LaLucia I hope it works out for you.
God Bless
 
Hi Peter, Your annulment doesn’t legally affect your two daughters because this annulment is just through the Catholic Church Tribunal Council. The papers are not sent to the civil courts. The papers just stay in the Catholic Tribunal Council.

It was my adult son who has encouraged me to get the annulment because I am a good writer and can state my case.
I have a great case for the Code of Canon Law 1095, which is a new law.

You must find your Archdiocese in your city and then go to the Tribunal section where you can find "Grounds of “Marriage Nullity”.
You will find all of the Cannon laws numbers. Some may apply to you. It is stated very clearly.
It also teaches you how to present your case and other important information that will help you.

My Priest wasn’t much help except to say that to try to add as much information that I can on each question.
My priest is very busy and I already know a lot about annulments due to the fact that I had already done my research.

Since the Holidays are coming I am thinking it is best for you to enjoy them and then start doing the paper work a little bit at a time. I have been dragging my feet on getting the paper work done due to the Holiday activities.
Right now is the time to be happy and not have un-happy thoughts of annulment.

Since I am retired and have the time I have chosen to try to get it done as soon as possible in between my social activities.
But I probably will not be able to complete the paper work until after Christmas since I am planning several Holiday trips.

You daughters will be find. It will not affect them at all. Plus their mother will be free to marry in the Catholic Church if she wishes.

Try to put the blame mostly on yourself and do a self search on where you made your mistakes in your marriage. That is what I am doing and also asking my ex spouse to answer the part on himself… questions on the annulment papers. That way I get accurate information on him too. There were many things I didn’t know about him and his own upbringing life.

The Tribunal uses the words: “Your former spouse”, when asking you questions about your ex-spouse.

My advice is wait until after the Holidays so your ex-spouse and kids stay happy and you stay happy. GOD BLESS, La Lucia
 
as another poster has pointed out, the entire proceeding can be and usually is a healing process as well, so there is that to consider. like any real healing process or therapy it does require work, an investment of time, and help from an outside source, the tribunal in this case, but is well worth it.
 
You mention that your ex-wife is a lapse Catholic. Were the two of you married in the Catholic Church?
 
Peter, I will keep you informed on my annulment and how it goes step by step.

I already have a note from my doctor with my medical problems that affected my marriage.

I plan to see my therapist today so she can write me a letter for the Tribunal stating my personal problems and reasons why I should get my annulment. It’s a long story.

I think I will get my two sisters to be witnesses to help me anull my marriage. They will slam dunk me because they don’t like me but they will also show proof that my parents forced me to get married. They were also forced to get married. Our parents wanted us out of the house at an early age. We were all teenagers when we got married.
My Mother cared about what the neighbors thought about her so she made us get married by the Catholic Chuch. Her and my dad were Baptists at the time when I got married.
I didn’t have a job or money to run away from home so I got married just to get away from home. There is more information that I have not stated here because it is too personal.
But it gives you an idea of what happened to me.
 
Thanks for all the kind info.
Maybe my priest over-simplified the process but he seemed keen to proceed with annulment, I will re-visit the subject after the holidays as you suggest.
No Dulcissima we were married at an Anglo-Catholic - Anglican church. my ex has not been practising Catholic since her Catholic schooldays, I have become a believer over more recent years and was Confirmed into the Angican church - now just about to be accepted into Catholic Church. Totally absorbed in Faith now whilst being aware to walk the ‘middle ground’ as much as possible for sake of ex spouse and relatives - dont want to appear to be the ‘‘Christian wierdo’’ (a title I may have been awarded already)
 
If your ex was baptized Catholic, and the wedding was not in a Catholic Church, the process may be a fairly simple defect of form.
 
Hi Peter, yes, it does look like your annulment will not be complicated.
You need to just hang loose for awhile when you are around family members. They can be very critical. They are always critizing me for getting divorced 45yrs. ago.LOL. I think they are so silly so I just keep my mouth shut around them. La Lucia
 
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