Annulment and the psychological affects on children

[EasterJoy]

Since I am the one who made the quoted statement, please allow me to elaborate. Inasmuch as you may not have agreed with it, I was responding to the issue of simply gong from the Catholic Church to a Protestant ecclesial community simply because one did not agree with the Church’s position on marriage. Remember, too, that there are other people involved when making that decision, and these are the mother and their younger children, all of whom are baptized Catholics.

Yes, it is laudable that the OP is conscious and concerned about his older children. It is also a very good thing that he is going through the annulment courses with the mother of his children and has agreed that the younger ones be reared in the Faith. However, I certainly understand that, as a Lutheran, he is going through uncharted waters. However, the mother of his younger children, realizing her mistake, wants to make things right. I realize that the OP focused on the older children, but, the younger ones are already Catholic and the integrity of their Faiith, along with that of the mother’s, should be considered as well.

Perhaps this will serve as a moment of grace for the OP, his younger children and their mother, as well as his wife’s and their older children.

I only want to be as sensitive as possible to the fact that he may not have the same point of view as a non-Catholic as we do as Catholics. It is an act of charity on his part to attend our church with his family instead of expecting his family to attend his church. Were he to decide he could not attend a church that refused to recognize a marriage that he in all good faith believes to be valid, that would not be an act of pettiness on his part. That’s all I mean.

Re-visiting his decision to divorce and re-marry with his children, making certain they are on solid emotional ground, could be very good for them, as is his desire to have his marriage fully recognized by the church in which he and his wife have chosen to raise his children, yes. His desire to be careful about not just the spiritual welfare but also the feelings of everyone involved is very good. You have to take care of a child emotionally in order to take care of him or her spiritually, after all.

Being Catholic myself, of course I think that convalidation of his marriage will be, in itself, a source of great grace, too! You have that right!