Annulment, confirmation and blessing marriage

[MWL1125]

I have a question I need some help on. I’m Presbyterian, my wife is Roman Catholic. She was raised Roman Catholic, baptized and had first communion, but did NOT get confirmed. Basically, her parents stopped going and she wasn’t too into the faith in her teenage years into her twenties. While her dad is Roman Catholic, her mother is Byzantine Catholic and both are Christian Arabic immigrants. When she was 20 her parents put her into an arranged marriage in the Byzantine tradition. The marriage was entirely in Arabic, and she didn’t understand half of it (and did not say hardly anything). She was with the man for only a few months and then ended up divorcing (she left, but he filed the paperwork). It took her a long time to forgive her parents for that, even though they ultimately took her side in the whole affair. She didn’t know to get an annulment, especially since the marriage was not in the Roman Catholic church, and she wasn’t too “into” the faith. Fast forward 8 years and she meets me. We decide to get married. I’m devoutly Christian, raised Presbyterian. After the fiasco with her first marriage, my wife turned heavily to God and she became more into the Church. Seeing as how much it meant to her, I agreed to get married in the Catholic Church. We did the counseling, agreed to raise children Catholic, etc. When asked about prior marriage by her local Priest, my wife said yes, but would seek the annulment. Her parents sought it, and when they received it, they gave it to the Priest. Problem was, they got the annulment from the Byzantine church, not the Catholic church. The wedding was only a few short weeks away, on-top of that we had some serious issues because the church scheduled a major renovation on-top of our wedding date without telling us first. I got understandably frustrated and pulled some strings with my military command, had the venue changed to the base Chapel and flew in my Presbyterian minister. We both realized the issue was with that church, and not the Catholic church in general. Fast forward 10 more years. We’ve moved (multiple times) and been attending Catholic church together and have two wonderful children. My wife goes to confession regularly now. She attends Tuesday mass with our kids while I’m at work and Sunday masses each week; the Roman Catholic faith means a lot to her. I’m looking to start RICA classes next term. We both want to get our marriage recognized in the Catholic church. Do we need to get an annulment if she was never confirmed in the first place? If we do need an annulment, living apart is unacceptable since we both firmly believe a father and mother are necessary to raise children, especially at a young vulnerable age. Some advice as the best way to proceed is greatly appreciated.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

This is all very complicated. You really need to speak with your pastor to sort it all out. Prayers and best wishes.

 

[Gorgias]

Call the canon law office of your diocese and ask if you can talk to someone about a particularly complex situation involving not only prior marriage in the Eastern Catholic Church, but also a possible annulment of that marriage by the Eastern Catholic Church, and your desire to ensure you can be married validly in the Church.

There is sufficient complexity in your case (particularly, the questions surrounding Eastern Rite Catholic Churches) that the average priest or deacon would be out of his depth trying to address them (unless he were also a canon lawyer).

 

[JackMcCoy]

First pray and then seek consultation with a priest.

 

[MWL1125]

Thank you for this suggestion. I hit up the website for the diocese and their website gets into the 4 difference avenues for annulment. Given that there was no disposition from the Catholic Church (a bishop) for her to marry originally, I think there’s a really good case to be made for an annulment based on lack of conical form. After that, I’m hoping we can address getting our marriage blessed by our local Priest/Bishop.

 

[1ke]

When you say Byzantine church, it is not clear if you mean a byzantine Catholic church or a byzantine orthodox church. Either way, it is not as clear-cut as you think from reading a website. This is something that your wife really needs to talk to someone knowledgeable at the diocese as it pertains to Canon Law and the Eastern churches.

Given the fact that it was a “arranged marriage”, this could definitely be grounds for a decree of nullity. You also say that her parents applied for an annulment in the Byzantine church, and that frankly does not make sense. So these are things that will need to be discussed and all of the details established. Paperwork provided. Let the diocesan canon lawyers assist you.

 

[Gorgias]

When you say Byzantine church, it is not clear if you mean a byzantine Catholic church or a byzantine orthodox church.

That was my first thought, too. Perhaps the OP’s father-in-law is Eastern Catholic and his mother-in-law is Eastern Orthodox?

In any case, @MWL1125, don’t be lulled into a false sense of security – even if your wife’s first marriage was in the Orthodox Church, that doesn’t automatically mean it is not considered valid in the Catholic Church. We recognize marriages contracted in (some of the) Orthodox Churches! So, a canonist with experience in the Eastern Canons is your best bet!

I’ll be praying for you!

Blessings,
G

 

[Reuben_J]

Not really my area of expertise but I think there is some technicality involved. Your wife has a good case for annulment. Since she already had it from her Byzantine Church, the Catholic Church now can scrutinize that and if it was in order, confirm the annulment. That would be the fastest scenario.

I should not think there is any problem with your marriage but it probably needs a convalidation since it was solemnised outside the Catholic Church.

May God bless you in your journey and welcome home.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

While her dad is Roman Catholic, her mother is Byzantine Catholic…

OP, as others have noted, do you grasp the difference between Byzantine Catholic and Byzantine Orthodox Churches? One is in full Communion with the Catholic Church and one is not.

Please consult with your Catholic pastor about this. Don’t fear that you are going to be advised to split up your family. This situation can be resolved.