Annulment--Do not want Church to contact my ex husband

[marian2005]

Hi,
I became a Catholic in 2005. Prior to that I hadn’t been baptized or been a Christian at all.
When I was going through RCIA for 2 years, I told the person in charge that I had been divorced twice. They gave me a form to fill out to start the annulment proceedings. I explained that I did not want to contact either of my ex-husbands–they were short marriages, one was when I was still a teen, and in my second marriage I left a man who I am afraid of. After a while, I was told that since I had not previously been baptized and was not married in the Catholic Church, that I didn’t need to continue with the annulment. I was very relieved, because I was already married, for a year to a Catholic man (we are still married).
Last night I was watching Web of Faith on EWTN and there was a question that made it seem that I had been told incorrectly. Today, I have been researching this issue on the internet and it seems that I am committing a mortal sin by not receiving the annulments.
I am extremely upset, because I have gotten very strong in my faith lately and want to take Holy Communion whenever possible. It seems that now I can’t go to communion–does anyone know if this is true?–until the annulments are completed. My problem is I don’t know my exs’ addresses and I do not want to contact them. It has to do with the safety of my child, too. Has anyone gotten an annulment without contacting your ex? I have called my parish to discuss this and am awaiting their reply.

Thank you for any help.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Please talk to your priest. He can give you the proper advice as he will know all the details necessary.

I gave the tribunal my ex-husband’s address when I petitioned. I did not have to contact him at all. I have no idea if he even sent in the paperwork. I never saw anything that he wrote if he did communicate. I never had to have any dealings with him at all.

If you don’t have any way of knowing their whereabouts, I would imagine you’d just give as much information as you have (their names, the dates of the marriages etc.)

Again, your priest will be able to advise you.

 

[Seatuck]

Hi,
I became a Catholic in 2005. Prior to that I hadn’t been baptized or been a Christian at all.
When I was going through RCIA for 2 years, I told the person in charge that I had been divorced twice. They gave me a form to fill out to start the annulment proceedings. I explained that I did not want to contact either of my ex-husbands–they were short marriages, one was when I was still a teen, and in my second marriage I left a man who I am afraid of. After a while, I was told that since I had not previously been baptized and was not married in the Catholic Church, that I didn’t need to continue with the annulment. I was very relieved, because I was already married, for a year to a Catholic man (we are still married).
Last night I was watching Web of Faith on EWTN and there was a question that made it seem that I had been told incorrectly. Today, I have been researching this issue on the internet and it seems that I am committing a mortal sin by not receiving the annulments.
I am extremely upset, because I have gotten very strong in my faith lately and want to take Holy Communion whenever possible. It seems that now I can’t go to communion–does anyone know if this is true?–until the annulments are completed. My problem is I don’t know my exs’ addresses and I do not want to contact them. It has to do with the safety of my child, too. Has anyone gotten an annulment without contacting your ex? I have called my parish to discuss this and am awaiting their reply.

Thank you for any help.

Please go make an appointment with your priest. You do need to have your prior marriages looked into. The priest will know which process to follow. Your former spouses may or may not need to be contacted. You should not go to communion until you talk to your priest and let him know your marriage situation . Your current spouse should not be going to communion either (if he does) because he was married outside the church which makes your marriage invalid all by itself.
Good think you watched EWTN. You can get started taking care of this right away.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

It seems that now I can’t go to communion–does anyone know if this is true?–until the annulments are completed.

The best thing to do is talk with a priest since those of us here are neither canon lawyers nor knowledgeable about all the facts.

In general, though, I’d ask if you are remarried. If you are living as a single woman then you’re probably OK. If you have remarried then there is likely a problem.

 

[Rawb]

In general, though, I’d ask if you are remarried. If you are living as a single woman then you’re probably OK. If you have remarried then there is likely a problem.

She mentiones she is married.

You can recieve Communion, IF you go first to confession and confess all of this to the priest, and then live as brother and sister with your husband until after your annullments are completed.

You will not have to see or speak with your husband. Annullments are not like a court case, where you will be in the same room with them.

 

[1ke]

#1 Talk to your priest as soon as possible and lay out ALL the facts. I am sorry you received inaccurate information when you were in RCIA. Your priest will guide you.

#2 During the nullity process, the Tribunal will contact your ex-spouse if they can be located. YOU do not have ANY contact with them. They are not required to participate. If there are concerns regarding safety, make this known at the time you begin working on your nullity cases.

 

[Cluny]

Let me paraphrase what you’re saying to see if I understand it properly.

You are asking the Church to grant you not just one but two declarations of nullity, and you want this done on YOUR terms according to YOUR rules.

Do I understand you correctly?

 

[1ke]

Let me paraphrase what you’re saying to see if I understand it properly.

You are asking the Church to grant you not just one but two declarations of nullity, and you want this done on YOUR terms according to YOUR rules.

Do I understand you correctly?

I don’t think you understand her correctly at all. She was given terribly wrong guidance in RCIA. She has now discovered this was wrong information and is seeking better information and some guidance. She has concerns about contact with her ex, and is expressing that anxiety and asking about the nullity process.

I think your post is a little melodramatic.

 

[Cristiano]

Let me paraphrase what you’re saying to see if I understand it properly.

You are asking the Church to grant you not just one but two declarations of nullity, and you want this done on YOUR terms according to YOUR rules.

Do I understand you correctly?

I think that you do not understand correctly. She stated that she wants to regularize her status with the Church. That is a statement of acceptance of the Church rules by itself. She has also expressed personal wishes based on reasonable concerns. How important is the fact that she is looking for two declarations of nullity instead of just one? Does that make her less of a convert?

 

[Frankr409]

As the others have stated, make an appointment with your priest as soon as possible to straighten the matter out. I will pray for you tonight when I say my Rosary for the right outcome, and mostly that the holy spirit will grant you the strength you need in this situation.

It is not easy to face our past, It sounds though like you have the humility to do the right thing.

I noticed some uncharitible answers to your question, and I will pray that those individuals will grow more in charity.