Annulment of marriage Please Read and Help

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beata3408

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We have been together for 9 years, have a very good relationship and decided to marry a 1 ½ ago. I am English, baptized in Church of England and previously married in registry office. She is Polish Roman Catholic and has never been married before. We want to marry in Roman Catholic Church in Poland and went to see priests in Poland and England asking for advice. Knowing that I have been civilly married before they have never seen it as a problem and have never mentioned an annulment of marriage. Following the advice given we have submitted my letter of freedom from Church of England, decree absolute, baptize certificates for both of us, have completed the marriage preparation course and went on planning our wedding, setting date, paying deposits, planning honey moon etc. We are 4 months away from the weeding day (01.09.2012) with lots of preparations in progress and suddenly the problem occurred.
Roman Catholic Church in England is asking me for the annulment of marriage. I do not understand the relevance of it as my previous marriage was not a marriage in a Catholic Church neither in Church of England. Myself and my ex wife were not religious when in relationship therefore we opted for a registry office, therefore I also do not know her religion.

About my marriage
We married in 1993, I was 27 she was 23. We had dated for about 1 ½ years and were together for about two years after the wedding. We had talked about having children but she was never that interested. We had a very different aspirations, expectations and life styles. She would go out drinking with her friends and I would do the same with mine. Looking back we were never very close and not in love at all. After 2 years together we had separated and never been in contact since. I had applied for a divorce when decided to marry my current partner and was granted a decree absolute in 2011. Despite various attempt even the court was unable to find her. I do not know her current whereabouts, her father died, her family moved away.
In your opinion is a nullity of marriage necessary, would it be successful, if so who long would it take, is this an easy one or should we start cancelling the wedding?
This would break our hearts.

Thanks for reading
Paul & Beata
 
We have been together for 9 years, have a very good relationship and decided to marry a 1 ½ ago. I am English, baptized in Church of England and previously married in registry office. She is Polish Roman Catholic and has never been married before. We want to marry in Roman Catholic Church in Poland and went to see priests in Poland and England asking for advice. Knowing that I have been civilly married before they have never seen it as a problem and have never mentioned an annulment of marriage. Following the advice given we have submitted my letter of freedom from Church of England, decree absolute, baptize certificates for both of us, have completed the marriage preparation course and went on planning our wedding, setting date, paying deposits, planning honey moon etc. We are 4 months away from the weeding day (01.09.2012) with lots of preparations in progress and suddenly the problem occurred.
Roman Catholic Church in England is asking me for the annulment of marriage. I do not understand the relevance of it as my previous marriage was not a marriage in a Catholic Church neither in Church of England. Myself and my ex wife were not religious when in relationship therefore we opted for a registry office, therefore I also do not know her religion.

About my marriage
We married in 1993, I was 27 she was 23. We had dated for about 1 ½ years and were together for about two years after the wedding. We had talked about having children but she was never that interested. We had a very different aspirations, expectations and life styles. She would go out drinking with her friends and I would do the same with mine. Looking back we were never very close and not in love at all. After 2 years together we had separated and never been in contact since. I had applied for a divorce when decided to marry my current partner and was granted a decree absolute in 2011. Despite various attempt even the court was unable to find her. I do not know her current whereabouts, her father died, her family moved away.
In your opinion is a nullity of marriage necessary, would it be successful, if so who long would it take, is this an easy one or should we start cancelling the wedding?
This would break our hearts.

Thanks for reading
Paul & Beata
 
No one here can give you any true information on the specifics of your case.

However, the Catholic Church recognizes as valid the marriages of non-Catholics to each other. If you were a non-Catholic and your wife was a non-Catholic, the marriage is considered valid unless proven otherwise (annulment). If your first wife was a Baptized Catholic, even if non-practicing, the process is different but you still have to make sure that the first marriage was not valid before marrying now.

Since your intended is Catholic, the place to start in sorting this all out is her Catholic pastor. These days, unfortunately, this type of situation is not at all unusual and he will likely have lots of experience to help you resolve this.
 
Hi Paul

I had a similar(ish) issue as yours.

I just assumed my first ‘marriage’ would not be a problem as it was not a Catholic marriage.
Unfortunately, the Catholic church recognises all marriages as valid. (As it happens I don’t think it should but that’s another story).
A Catholic priest should be giving you advice about this. Each diocese has an organisation that deals with these issues but you need to act asap.
Can you think of any way that your previous marriage could not be considered valid.
My marriage was annulled due to not being consummated (long story- I realise this is unrealistic for most) and because she refused children.
Is there anything that you were unaware of at the time of marriage that later caused issues or went against the Catholic idea of marriage?

If all else fails you can have a hotel/civil/registry office wedding and have a blessing in the Catholic church afterwards.

Act NOW!!!

Congratulations on the marriage.
I get married at the end of July.
God bless.
Mike
 
Non-Catholics marry validly when they marry each other. You are not a Catholic and the person you married is not a Catholic. Therefore, you were not bound by any Catholic canon laws. You married validly. If both of you are baptized, your marriage is also a sacrament. It is a common misunderstanding that people believe the Church does not recognize non-Catholic marriages. This simply isn’t true. The Church recognizes the marriages of non-Catholic Christians and the unbaptized.

You have a prior bond and are therefore not free to marry anyone else. Divorce does not end a marriage. This is the teaching of Christ and it applie to ALL Christians. A valid, sacramental marriage is indissoluable.

Therefore, you would have to prove, via the tribunal process, that your marriage was NOT valid at its beginning. This requires some sort of grounds for nullity. Or, if your ex was not baptized, you do have the possibility of asking for the Petrine Privilege (it is rare).

You will need to put all these wedding plans on hold. You are not free to marry. You need to sit down with a Catholic priest and start discussing whether or not you have grounds for a nullity case. Yes, a decree of nullity is necessary before you can marry her.

See this chart for more information:

diocs.org/Portals/1/Documents/Tribunal/Decision_matrix.pdf

I also recommend you read the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster.

Step 1: Go talk to the Catholic priest as soon as possible to discuss your situation.
 
I answered your question on the Liturgy forum. This is cross posted on multiple forums.
 
First of all, let me start off by saying that I assist in annulment cases for my parish, and so I am knowledgeable on the subject.

I’m afraid that you will, indeed, have to get an annulment concerning your previous marriage. The technical term for the issue at hand is “prior bond”, meaning that because you exchanged marriage vows with a woman in the past, you have a potential marriage bond with that woman. Even though it was not a Catholic wedding, according to Church teachings the bride and groom are the ministers of the sacrament of marriage, and every marriage has the potential of being binding. The Church, therefore, presumes that all marriages are valid unless demonstrated otherwise, and a Catholic marriage tribunal is empowered to conduct investigations into such matters and make a ruling.

In terms of the four month time-span between now and the wedding date, this may or may not be enough time, depending on the amount of cases a tribunal is already handling. It also depends on the exact type of annulment which is required. Ideally, the annulment should have been addressed prior to a priest giving you a wedding date, but naturally you would not be expected to know that, so it is hardly your fault.

The priest who should be handling your annulment investigation (working as a liaison between you and a diocesan tribunal) is your fiance’s Catholic pastor (or a parochial vicar in the same parish). If, because of distance and/or language issues, it would be more practical to have a English priest work with you on this, contact your local Catholic priest and explain the situation. In any event, meet with a priest about this as soon as possible.

Here is the first batch of information that you should provide (to “get the ball rolling”):
  1. The baptismal information concerning you and your ex-wife.
  2. Put some time and effort into locating the current whereabouts of your ex-wife (using the internet and such). If you can find her contact information then give that to the priest. If not, then it is still possible for the investigation to proceed.
  3. Copy of your marriage license.
  4. Copy of your finalized divorce decree.
  5. Was your ex-wife married prior to her marriage with you? If so, provide that information as well.
I wish you good luck in this endeavor.
 
EricFilmer said:
In terms of the four month time-span between now and the wedding date, this may or may not be enough time, depending on the amount of cases a tribunal is already handling. It also depends on the exact type of annulment which is required. Ideally, the annulment should have been addressed prior to a priest giving you a wedding date, but naturally you would not be expected to know that, so it is hardly your fault.
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In my experience, a four-month window is an impossibility. If an annulment has been done in less than four months, I’ve never heard of it. The annulment will have to be granted before the Church will even entertain the idea of the next marriage, simply because until then the person in question is not free to marry in the first place. After then annulment, the proper dispensation (since the OP is not Catholic) and pre-Cana can start.

If the OP intends on getting married in a Catholic Church, the brakes have to be on the wedding plans.
 
Paul

Some very good advice on these posts.

Please also see my reply on the other thread you posted this.

Now that I think about it, I was advised it would take a year to have annulment completed.

Mike
 
I became Catholic over a year ago and was encouraged first to obtain an annulment of my marriage to my exhusband. He was not a Catholic. The process has been long and difficult. My situation is different. My exhusband had a marriage prior to ours and this was my first. I have proven this through marriage and divorce decrees of his first marriage. I have proven this through the application for our marriage license. That is the easy part of my process.

The more difficult process is actually thoughtfully and honestly answering the questions about our marriage and our history as individuals. Going through this process has greatly enlightened me. The questions they ask are now the questions I subject and analyze my current relationship to. I have been sad for months because already I see that despite how we love each other, despite how we have helped each other to grow in the Lord, there are stumbling blocks, BIG ones, were we to proceed towards marriage.

Having seen how difficult obtaining an annulment is has been sobering for me. More than likely I will be granted one. ONE. So when I do approach marriage in the future, it will be as a Catholic. This is it. For life. No do-overs. No take-backs. Absolutely no divorce.

Being Catholic is not about having a religion. Being Catholic means we are the stewards of God’s greatest graces. My part in this means that should the Tribunal tell me that a dissolution of my previous marriage were not to be granted, that I live by it. That means that despite being 40 years young, I will not be free to marry until my fornicating adulterating ex husband dies. It means that I not present myself to other single Catholics as a free woman. It means should I engage with intercourse with ANYONE, I am committing adultery. It sucks because my ex abandoned me and ran off with my best friend.

What would suck worse would be being married illegitimately, without the blessing of God, on my union, committing sin daily and perverting what marriage actually is and not being able to receive holy communion. So whatever the tribunal decides will become God’s will for me. Having been married to someone I was unequally yoked with, I know there is no harder path than running down the wrong road with God screaming at your back “That’s not the way!”

Marriage is not to be entered into lightly and there is a reason why God hates divorce.
 
ValPal said:
In my experience, a four-month window is an impossibility.
Click to expand...
It depends.

I agree that it would be very unlikely if we are talking about a full tribunal case. However, we do not know all the details of the first marriage and ex spouse. If the ex was previously married or the ex was a baptized Catholic, and it can be proven with paperwork, then we are talking Ligamen or Lack of Form and those are very quick once the paperwork is gathered.
 
mikelionheart said:
Why’s that then Vinnieboy.

Would you like to explain yourself rather than give an arrogant post.
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Why is it “arrogant” to tell someone that violating the Church’s rules on marriage is not a good idea?
 
No, I was advising that if all else fails he should get the marriage blessed which is the exact same advice my priest gave me.

Are you saying that if all else fails he should live in sin with her or end the relationship?
 
Myself and my ex wife were not religious when in relationship therefore we opted for a registry office, therefore I also do not know her religion.
Click to expand...
This is the most critical piece of information and, with respect, it is not being addressed in most of the replies above.

There are three possibilities
  1. She was a non-Catholic baptized christian as was the OP in which case, the only option is a full tribunal investigation.
  2. She was a non-practicing Catholic. In which case a full investigation would not be needed but a “lack of form” process would apply. I don’t know about the UK, but in the US, these are much simpler and usually less time consuming.
  3. She was not a baptized Christian. In which case, there are other options such as a Petrine privalege.
Unfortunately, whatever is the case, the OP will need to do some investigation first to locate his wife and to determine her baptismal status first.
 
agnes_therese said:
Why is it “arrogant” to tell someone that violating the Church’s rules on marriage is not a good idea?
Click to expand...
That’s not what he said is it?

Infact, he didn’t say anything at all did he?

Just gave an arrogant riposte.
 
mikelionheart said:
No, I was advising that if all else fails he should get the marriage blessed which is the exact same advice my priest gave me.

Are you saying that if all else fails he should live in sin with her or end the relationship?
Click to expand...
If he gets a civil marriage and then lives with his new “wife” they are still living in sin and adding on the sin of presumption.

If “all else fails” and the OP is not able to get his prior marriage situation resolved, then the “have a blessing in the Church afterward” option is not relevant anyway.
 
If “all else fails”, the honorable thing to do is to call off the engagement and possibly enjoy a platonic friendship with this woman who is still married, rather than commit adultery.

I know it can be heartbreaking, but the Church sees marriage as a lifelong covenant that cannot be dissolved by a mere civil divorce. A “remarriage” would mean that this couple could not participate in the sacramental life of the Church.
 
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