Annulment of marriage Please Read and Help

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Thank you all

Its Sunday I have to take Beata to the church shortly then I will get back on the computer. on Monday i’m going to ring the local annulment office will post what is said.
 
ost #17 that you are both referring to was actually information given to me by a member of my local diocesan tribunal staff. I was assisting with an annulment investigation in a case similar to that of the OP’s, and the person on the tribunal I spoke with made the comment that, generally speaking, the Catholic Church does not consider civil marriages between baptized Christians to be valid, but I was still required to have the couple do the full annulment investigation.
But this statement is entirely UNTRUE. I do not know where this person got such an idea but it isn’t true. The statement generally speaking, the Catholic Church does not consider civil marriages between baptized Christians to be valid isn’t accurate. In fact, it is just the opposite.

When two non-Catholics marry in some sort of religious ceremony, officiated by clergy, the clergy person is a LAYPERSON. They have no holy orders. There is nothing special about their presence or absence. The clergy person is the civil witness to the marriage, not the witness of the Church. The exchange of consent between the couple makes the marriage.

Whatever else they do, clergy or couple-- say a prayer, dance around and beat a drum, break a glass, jump a broom, sing a song, kneel, stand, or read reading out of the bible or the Twilight book, bless rings-- NONE of that has anything to do with validity. The non-Catholic clergy person has no ability to confer a blessing or confer a sacrament.

There is absolutely no difference between a couple exchanging vows before their clergy person and a couple exchanging their vows before a magistrate/justice of the peace. In both cases the couple is exchanging their vows before a layperson, who is simply a witness.
 
But if he marries another and subsequent to that has that marriage properly annulled in accordance with proper process, he can remarry within the Church and that is not adultery.
And you would be living in mortal sin until you could convalidate the marriage, putting your own soul in jeopardy, separating yourself from the sacraments, and giving scandal to others, and possibly bringing children into this very bad situation.

And, if the first marriage is found to be VALID, you have no path to resolution except to separate from the second person you “married” or live in continence in the same house and wait for the first spouse to die (which may not happend before YOU die).

No, this is not a path any person should go down. Be faithful to God in all things.
 
And, if the first marriage is found to be VALID, you have no path to resolution except to separate from the second person you “married” or live in continence in the same house and wait for the first spouse to die (which may not happend before YOU die).
Waiting for your spouse to die so you can marry another within the legal constructs of ones religious institution sounds like a very holy enterprise indeed.
 
Waiting for your spouse to die so you can marry another within the legal constructs of ones religious institution sounds like a very holy enterprise indeed.
I think 1ke’s point is that it isn’t very holy at all; it’s a bad idea.
 
Hi Eric

The answers to your questions, no she was not married , I don’t know her religion if any,
I have absolutely no chance of finding her as the UK court bailiffs could not find her to serve divorce papers.
This sounds like a real problem. Her baptismal status, and whether or not she was a Catholic, are extremely important to the situation.

For example, if she were baptized Catholic, the marriage would be found to be invalid because you married civilly (assuming no dispensations). If she were validly baptized non-Catholic, your marriage is valid. If she were not baptized, then the marriage could potentially be dissolved.

Without this basic information, I have no idea how they would proceed.
 
Without this basic information, I have no idea how they would proceed.
If the baptismal status of the other spouse cannot be proven, then the tribunal proceeds with a formal case.

Not knowing the baptismal status of the other spouse simply rules out lack of form and Petrine Privilege as options.
 
But this statement is entirely UNTRUE. I do not know where this person got such an idea but it isn’t true. The statement generally speaking, the Catholic Church does not consider civil marriages between baptized Christians to be valid isn’t accurate. In fact, it is just the opposite…

…There is absolutely no difference between a couple exchanging vows before their clergy person and a couple exchanging their vows before a magistrate/justice of the peace. In both cases the couple is exchanging their vows before a layperson, who is simply a witness.
Once again, the tribunal representative I spoke with did not elaborate upon the statement in question so I can only guess at the reasons behind it. But you are presuming that it is incorrect based upon the fact that a clergyman is not the minister of the sacrament of marriage. The rationale may not have anything to do with who is and who is not the proper minister. Rather, the decision for baptized Christians to get married in a civil ceremony rather than involving their church community could (and the key word is “could” and not “does”) represent a failure in appreciating that marriage is a sacrament or a holy Christian union. This could be an impediment for the establishment of a sacramental bond of marriage. But seeing as I only assist in annulment preparations and am not privy to the tribunal’s ensuing investigation, I’m only guessing here.
 
Rather, the decision for baptized Christians to get married in a civil ceremony rather than involving their church community could (and the key word is “could” and not “does”) represent a failure in appreciating that marriage is a sacrament or a holy Christian union.
This is not an essential property of marriage. the three essential properties of marriage are fidelity, fecundy, and perpetuity.

Can.* 1056 The essential properties of marriage are unity and indissolubility, which in Christian marriage obtain a special firmness by reason of the sacrament.

Can.* 1096 §1. For matrimonial consent to exist, the contracting parties must be at least not ignorant that marriage is a permanent partnership between a man and a woman ordered to the procreation of offspring by means of some sexual cooperation.

§2. This ignorance is not presumed after puberty.

The contracting parties are not required to know or understand the sacramentality of marriage to give valid consent.

The Church does not require that the marriage even be sacramental at all. The unbaptized contract valid marriages.
This could be an impediment for the establishment of a sacramental bond of marriage. But seeing as I only assist in annulment preparations and am not privy to the tribunal’s ensuing investigation, I’m only guessing here.
I have no doubt someone told you this, I disagree with the accuracy of their statement. You (I don’t mean you personally) cannot find any scrap of evidence that substantiates this, and canon law and the Commentary on the Code of Canon Law both fail to substantiate this position.
 
Thank you all

This is the letter that I posted with the paper work please let me know what you think.

This is my account of where I think the marriage started to go wrong.
We met in January 1992, it was a fast courtship and there were few disagreements in the early days. Her father always wanted us to marry, my mother was always asking me if it was what I wanted. Both of us originally wanted to have children and with her father so willing that we married we decided to get married on the //93. Neither of us were practicing any religion at that time and we married in a registry office.
Soon after the wedding things started to change. We both worked very hard, I worked nights and weekends, she worked at day time, therefore we started to live separate lives. Sara started going out with her friends every other weekend, I never had a problem with this. I was going out with my friends, she rarely wanted to join me. The pressure of work and different work patterns started to become a problem. Moreover, we discovered that we had different aspirations, interests, views and plans for the future. When we talked about children ****** became short and showed no interest at all but before the marriage we both agreed to have children. After about a year and half we separated and have never been in contact since. We both moved away from the town we grew up and lived as a couple.
I met my current partner in 2002, after many years of happy relationship we decided to marry. I applied for divorce and was granted a decree absolute in 2011. Despite various attempts to find my ex wife even court was unable to find her to serve her the divorce paper. The divorce was granted however without any problems. I still do not know her whereabouts, her father died, her family moved away.
Unfortunately I am unable to give many details regarding my ex wife. I do not know her religion, past or current, do not know her whereabouts or whether she remarried. We have separated 18 years ago, moved away and moved on with our lives.

Please let me know if you think there is a case here
 
Is there any way that i can find out if she was baptised or not I know where she lived and the year she was born. but thats about all i do know thanks
 
Is there any way that i can find out if she was baptised or not I know where she lived and the year she was born. but thats about all i do know thanks
You can give that information to the diocesan tribunal and they can contact the local Catholic Church. You cannot access someone else’s sacramental records, they are confidential.
 
1ke

You are presuming that Beata’s first wife was catholic - we don’t actually know that and nor I suspect does he.

He did say
Neither of us were practicing any religion at that time and we married in a registry office
He must contact , as he has done , his Diocesan Marriage tribunal for help. Lay people cannot , despite all their wishes to the contrary , provide any real help - we are all guessing as to the outcome of this . Leave this one to the professionals.

Beata - the best of luck
 
1ke

You are presuming that Beata’s first wife was catholic - we don’t actually know that and nor I suspect does he.
No. I am not assuming any such thing. I think you skipped a number of posts to arrive at this conculsion.

He just asked in the immediately preceding post if he could attempt to find out if she was baptized Catholic through church records and the answer is no.
 
You can give that information to the diocesan tribunal and they can contact the local Catholic Church. You cannot access someone else’s sacramental records, they are confidential.
In the US, that’s generally true. But the OP is not in the US. In many places Baptismal records are publically available in the same way birth records are here.
 
But this statement is entirely UNTRUE. I do not know where this person got such an idea but it isn’t true. The statement generally speaking, the Catholic Church does not consider civil marriages between baptized Christians to be valid isn’t accurate. In fact, it is just the opposite.

When two non-Catholics marry in some sort of religious ceremony, officiated by clergy, the clergy person is a LAYPERSON. They have no holy orders. There is nothing special about their presence or absence. The clergy person is the civil witness to the marriage, not the witness of the Church. The exchange of consent between the couple makes the marriage.

Whatever else they do, clergy or couple-- say a prayer, dance around and beat a drum, break a glass, jump a broom, sing a song, kneel, stand, or read reading out of the bible or the Twilight book, bless rings-- NONE of that has anything to do with validity. The non-Catholic clergy person has no ability to confer a blessing or confer a sacrament.

There is absolutely no difference between a couple exchanging vows before their clergy person and a couple exchanging their vows before a magistrate/justice of the peace. In both cases the couple is exchanging their vows before a layperson, who is simply a witness.
Here’s what I don’t understand. If you are Catholic and marry civilly the Church doesn’t recognize your marriage and you cannot participate in the Sacraments. OK got that. But let’s say I marry at the courthouse and then we civilly divorce. I want to marry in the Church, suddenly my prior marriage becomes a marriage that has to be dissolved (failure to follow form). I guess I am stunned that it’s used against me in receiving the sacraments (not valid marriage) but it’s good enough to keep me from marrying. I am in the process of a failure to follow form and, although I’m relieved I won’t need a full annulment it’s expensive. I am on hold because I ran out of money. Just to get all the documents I need to file it I will have spent well over 150.00 then I hear there’s a fee to file it…not sure how I will get those funds. I just don’t understand how something is but isn’t a marriage. I am trying to fully comply with the Church in all areas of my life but it seems they try to have it both ways when it comes to a civil marriage; you didn’t do it in the Church so you can’t take communion but you can’t marry because you’re married??? It makes no sense to me but I’m not in a hurry as I have no desire to remarry–but …I want this behind me in case the situation arises in the future so I don’t have it in the way. To me, it’s part of letting go and learning so I don’t repeat the same mistakes. I married a Jewish man, it was a horrible union as I was out of the Church for a full 9 years and I’m glad the civil divorce is done.

I hope the OP resolves his dilemma. They could marry in his church and she would have to wait on the sacraments and they could convalidate once the annulment is complete. I assume they probably attend each others respective churches. She couldn’t take communion in his church but lots of people have to wait on sacraments. It’s better than cancelling the wedding --which can costs thousands of dollars that most people don’t have to replace. I will certainly pray that things are further along in the investigation for them both and it works out. Whatever the case, best wishes to the OP and his betrothed for a happy future.

Lorrie
 
Hi Lorrie

Thanks for posting

The reason for going to Poland to get married is my parents are no longer with us and I have only one sibling
were Beata has all her family it would be impossible for them to travel her.
 
Here’s what I don’t understand. If you are Catholic and marry civilly the Church doesn’t recognize your marriage and you cannot participate in the Sacraments. OK got that. But let’s say I marry at the courthouse and then we civilly divorce. I want to marry in the Church, suddenly my prior marriage becomes a marriage that has to be dissolved (failure to follow form).
No not at all. There is no valid marriage and there is no presumption of validity

In the US and Canada (and perhaps a few other places), it is a documentation process during the investigation of freedom to marry. It is not a tribunal process, it is not a declaration of nullity.

Morevover, this documentation process occurs only in a very few countries, mostly it seems those where the priest is both the civil and church witness. It serves only to document freedom to marry.

In Europe, for example, a Catholic who has been married and divorced civilly produces no paperwork at all other than their baptismal certificate.
 
Here’s what I don’t understand. If you are Catholic and marry civilly the Church doesn’t recognize your marriage and you cannot participate in the Sacraments. OK got that.
I don’t think you really do “get” that. The reason such a person cannot participate in the Sacraments is not because they got married civilly, it’s because they continue to live together as man and wife. If they separate, even without a civil divorce, a simple Confession brings him/her right back into the Sacramental life of the Church.
 
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