Looking at this from the other side, I am sure there are very many happy marriages where a case for annulment could have been made had things worked out less happily…the bride was pregnant, extreme youth, lack of proper understanding etc.
So what actually constitutes a ‘valid’ marriage? And how is any outsider REALLY going to understand what went on inside this most private relationship?
Perhaps we should agree to call no man married until he is dead …and beyond the reach of a nullity enquiry…
I’m sure you’re correct that there are happy valid marriages that came to be under less than desirable circumstances. Some because the participants went into the marriage with an understanding of marriage as taught by the Church. And those marriages will never need to be reviewed by a Tribunal. Those marriages are presumed valid as are all marriages unless/until they are reviewed by a Tribunal.
For a marriage to be valid, the couple must
both understand and freely consent to the duties and obligations of marriage and they must also be psychologically be capable of carrying out those obligations. As my Archdiocese website states it in the simplest terms
" The process of declaring a marriage bond to be ‘null’ examines the *intention and understanding of both people at the time of their wedding *to see if the necessary elements of a full and true marriage were present (i.e., permanence, fidelity, the ability for true companionship and love of the spouses, and openness to generating and educating children)." (italics mine)
and
"Marriage is for people who are capable of making an adult commitment. Not everyone may be capable of assuming the essential rights and obligations of marriage and family life. Everyone knows that children are not capable of marriage. We also know that those who suffer from serious psychological illness are not likely able to commit to marriage. Certainly, other psychological dysfunctions may raise the issue of the capacity of an individual to enter marriage. If someone cannot hold a job, or assume ordinary personal responsibilities, or can not communicate adequately on an interpersonal adult level so as to share oneself with a spouse, then the capacity of that person for establishing a full and true marriage becomes questionable. Moreover, the commitment to marriage must be made freely (without outside pressure) and with serious forethought regarding the responsibilities that are assumed in marriage.
Today, some people enter unions with less consideration than they bring to purchasing an automobile! In our culture, we are very much aware of how addiction to substances (alcohol and drugs) plays a role in disrupting married life. If one is already addicted at the time of consent, a concern should be raised about the person’s capacity to establish a true marriage. Also, such things as a “divorce mentality” and “hidden conditions” may come into play. If someone approaches marriage with the conviction that he or she can always “get out of it” if one chooses to do so, that may invalidate marriage consent. There are many other factors that could negatively affect consent. Deception, fraud, grave error, or force and fear, can also affect the validity of a marriage bond."
aod.org/being-catholic/marriage-and-family/annulment-information/
How does the Church determine what went on in this most private relationship? The Church asks very personal and detailed questions of both parties to the failed marriage and also asks for outside testimony of witnesses. The Tribunal also asks for any counseling reports, if the couple attended counseling, and any applicable police and medical reports. In addition, the Church can and will ask that one or both parties also submit to an interview with a psychologist as well as other measures to help ensure that they make the correct decision.
I have to ask, what was the point of the last bit? Call no man married until he is dead and beyond the reach of inquiry. It makes no sense to me. Of course we must call men and women married if they are married. The marriage bond ends upon death and we are told no one is married in Heaven. So, no man is married after death…
