Annulment Pre Cana rules

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Soapyhk

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I was married in the Catholic Church in 1983 when I was 20 years old. The marriage from planning to wedding day took 7 weeks, the reason for my agreeing to the marriage was that my fiancé was pregnant ( I was in the navy and about to be deployed) . We had absolutely no pre Cana instruction, other than a cup of tea in the chapel house three days before we were married. The marriage was problematic for many reasons from the start and got steadily worse. We survived married 14 years had two children. My wife has been remarried in civil ceremony and had another child. At the time of our separation she told me that she had renounced her faith and that if I wanted the children to attend mass I would need to arrange it. I never got the option to exercise this right as she poisoned the children against me. In the past two years I have converted back to our faith and attend mass & adoration most days. I am in the process of filling out an annulment application, it seems to me that the church makes the process difficult & daunting on purpose. The questions are almost certain to reignite and inflame old fires rather than healing.
I am accepting almost full responsibility for role the marriage breakdown due to my pre & post marriage infidelity and my lack of understanding of the requirements and duties of a catholic husband and parent.
Sorry about not being more specific.
Can anyone advise if what I am applying for is sufficient grounds for annulment?
The Canon Lawyer continuously reminds me that annulment is not fore gone conclusion.
Having filled out the forms and been truthful accepting full responsibility I am slightly perturbed they the church seems not ( at least at this stage) to consider its own failings in allowing the marriage to take place in breech of its own rules.
Any helpful comments or advice are most welcome.
 
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I don’t think I have a helpful answer, but I will pray for you.
 
The annulment process does bring back a lot of bad memories. You’ll get past that. When I did mine, I tried to keep emotions out of my writing and was just truthful in what I wrote. My ex did not respond to the tribunal. I had an interview with an advocate at the Archdiocese that was mostly to confirm what I had written and to answer a few questions they had. My archdiocese moved quickly and it was approved in about four months. Never along the way was I given any indication of which way it would go. I just prayed. I was not Catholic at the time, but had remarried to a Catholic and wanted to get her in good graces with the church. Along the way I decided to convert. Hope this helps. God Bless.
 
My ex wife is unfortunately in a carehome suffering from Alzheimer’s ( she is only 57). I’m not sure who the respondent will be. I am guessing my daughter who dislikes me intensely, however I have applied in the proper manner and hope i do not have any unnecessary squabble.
 
Soapyhk said:
My ex wife is unfortunately in a carehome suffering from Alzheimer’s ( she is only 57). I’m not sure who the respondent will be.
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Does the tribunal know of the condition of the other Party? If she is not responsible for herself (I’m using that phrase in the legal context), the court must act accordingly. They should know what to do.

As for the merits of your case, all that matters is what the officials in your own tribunal decide to do and how they decide to proceed.

Dan
 
I have informed the tribunal of all the truthful facts as I am aware. I am accepting responsibility for the marriage breakdown, telling the truth without in anyway blaming others. I could add more reasons but prefer to take responsibility rather than cast blame on my ex wife who cannot respond.
I have however been discouraged by the guidelines and replies I have had in communication with the canon lawyer. The provable fact we received no pre Cana instruction seems to be a point the tribunal don’t want to discuss, it should be the first question on the annulment application form!
I may be wrong but I get the feeling the church are avoiding any kind of blame in allowing the marriage to proceed.
 
If you follow the guidelines then it is impossible to avoid family disputes or confrontation. I have taken 8 months of soul searching to come to my final draft.
 
Soapyhk said:
The provable fact we received no pre Cana instruction seems to be a point the tribunal don’t want to discuss, it should be the first question on the annulment application form!
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But there’s nothing that can be done about that now except check to make sure that the classes are now offered for future couples.

Best of luck to you. I’m sure this is a difficult time and I’ll be praying for you.
 
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Sit down with your advocate and complete the prelim paperwork. Then, put it in their hands.

The Tribunal will then determine if there is sufficient evidence to proceed with the investigation. The Church has guidelines about expedient marriages due to pregnancy as that can impact consent, but, only the Tribunal can determine.

Witnesses are important, people who knew both of you leading up to and at the time of the marriage.

ETA: “Lack of pre-Cana” is not a grounds for nullity. Do not hyperfocus on that one thing. Lay out the facts and let the court determine.
 
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I think that lack of pre Cana is a vital component in the breakdown of our marriage. If Catholics are now( rightly) required to have this essential instruction, then it how can it not be a factor in my marriage that was allowed to proceed without question after only 7 weeks notice? I accept all the wrongs and negligence of my marriage, however the church shrugs off any attempt to accept lack of pre Cana instruction as a factor. In my opinion that is the church avoiding any type of blame. It has taken me 8 months to painstakingly prepare a draft, the guidelines that were given on the application are daunting and in my opinion written to make people shy away from the application. This point was was denied when I put it to the canon lawyer.
 
The paperwork does require extensive answers, this is because the Tribunal is dealing with complex issues.

This article may help understand the official grounds (if your case is accepted by the Tribunal, you will know what grounds they are investigating)


Since each party must freely consent to marriage, anyone forced into a marriage does not enter into it with sufficient consent. Thus, a true “shotgun wedding” does not result in a valid marriage. Fear that impedes a party’s judgment may also be sufficient to invalidate a marriage. For example, this might happen in the case of out-of-wedlock pregnancy, especially involving a very young couple.
 
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I know wikipedia may not be 100% accurate. However please check what the US conference of Bishops deem “must have conversations” prior to any wedding being approved! I got not one single minute of these many topics! Please explain how this is not a factor in the invalidity of the marriage?
 
Thank you. You have just given me another reason why the marriage may be invalid.
 
Each Diocese has their requirements for marriage published. “Pre Cana” is required in some Dioceses/Parishes. Other parishes use a different model of marriage preparation, in some parishes it is simply meeting with a priest.

Do ignore Wikipedia for the facts about marriage in the Church.
 
Soapyhk said:
However please check what the US conference of Bishops deem “must have conversations” prior to any wedding being approved! I got not one single minute of these many topics! Please explain how this is not a factor in the invalidity of the marriage?
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You were married in 1983 though. It’s highly likely that marriage prep has changed since then. You would need to find out what the USCCB’s guidelines were at that time to make this argument. I would focus on the issues that you can explain to the tribunal as cause for an annulment. You get nothing from trying to blame the church for it’s purported lack of instruction.
 
Soapyhk said:
The marriage from planning to wedding day took 7 weeks, the reason for my agreeing to the marriage was that my fiancé was pregnant ( I was in the navy and about to be deployed)
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This sentence right here makes it sound like this might be possible grounds.
 
So sorry you are having to deal with this. My brother married in '67 under the same conditions. The marriage lasted just over a year. My sweet s-i-l was only 16. She was the one who filed for annulment. She met a wonderful man and together they raised 5 kids of their own plus my sweet nephew. There are happy endings…

My brother gave up the faith and married civilly and had no other children.
 
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