Annulment process in Los Angeles

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Hi Jen, I am keeping this thread going to inform you of how things are processing for me.

I called my adult son and he informed me that my ex-spouse chose not to answer the 65 questions. He signed his name and mailed it to the Tribunal. I don’t really need for him to answer the questions since I wrote a lot about how it was my fault that we got married in the first place which is true information.

It goes to the first Tribunal court on Nov. 6, 09. I will keep you all informed on my annulment process in Los Angeles. Lucy
 
Update:

My boyfriend had his psychological evaluation last week. Since he can’t afford the $300 fee, it’s being paid for by the diocese I guess. The Dr. will be sending the evaluation and the bill within two weeks back to the Tribunal.

He was able to finally get ahold of his coordinator at the Tribunal and talk with her. She told him to just have the Dr. bill them. Unfortunately, he didn’t ask about next steps or anything. Sigh. 😦 I think it’s a good idea about writing down the questions. I did that another time, but he didn’t have the questions with him when she called him back! lol

He is going to call her at the end of next week and see if she has received the evaluation and what the next steps are. I’m sooooo hoping that this is getting close to being heard. He would really like to have the annulment granted before officially proposing, so it is hard for me to wait. I can’t start planning a wedding or even think about it. It would be such a Christmas gift if it happened by then. He and his 2 daughters are coming out to be with me and my family for the Christmas holidays. I’m so excited. His daughters have never been to Kansas City.

I had asked in an earlier post if anyone thought it would make a difference if I talked with my parish priest to see if there was anything he could do to help. Of course, I’m in the Kansas City Diocese. Is this a bad idea? Will it just annoy/frustrate the Tribunal? I certainly don’t want that to happen. (I was kind of hoping that maybe my priest has a connection in the Arch Diocese of LA.)
 
Since your fiance is a non-Catholic he has to be confirmened in the Catholic church first before he can marry you in the catholic church. He has to attend RCIA meetings in order to become Catholic.
Hey everybody…am I wrong in this information. Can a non-Catholic get married in the Catholic church with a Catholic? I am confused. Lucia
Lucia. I posted a thread a while back asking about my chances of annulment you told your story and it seemed you had given up, good to see your going on with it.
Catholics can marry non cathoics in the catholic church it happens all the time.You can’t make someone become a Catholic.

BTW - I haven’t started my annulment process yet, we are still fighting in the courts over chidren and property. I kind of feel that if I start the annulment prcoess now it will make matters worse for me as far as the court process goes.
 
Hello JRPO, I just returned from a one week vacation.

My advise is to wait a few years before filing for an annulment. You and your ex-spouse are going through the loss of your marriage…your hopes and dreams. Eventhough nobody died it feels like somebody died. But… they didn’t. That is how I felt when I got divorced. It was my idea for the divorce but I still felt the loss of the marriage. I used to get sick for no reason as if I had the flu but didn’t. I had many unhappy days and some good days. So you see… I know what you are going through.

Because there are children involved in the divorce… it is best to wait until you and your ex-spouse have neutralized your feelings towards with eachother. That means that the hurt and anger in your hearts have left you. Once you feel okay and time has passed
and the kids are older…and things are okay between you and your ex-spouse and are able to really have a talk with eachother… you can slowly talk about an annulment.

It took me a year to think about it when my adult son asked me if I could file for the annulment so my ex-spouse can marry his wife in the catholic church.

My advise to you is to just get as much information you can so you will be better prepared to ask for the annulment. Stay in touch with the people who know about your marriage problems so they can be witnesses i the future for your annulment. PEACE, Lucy
 
I disagree on waiting for the annulment. I recommend doing it as soon as you can while everything is fresh. What goes on with the Tribunal process has not one thing to do with what goes on in court. I was still having my ex take me to court over custody issues when I filed. The two things really have nothing to do with each other. It’s the kind of thing that if you put off, you might build up a lot of anxiety about it and not end up doing it until you are in a situation where you feel a lot of time pressure.
 
Hi Jen, My sister called me today to say she has received from the Tribunal asking her questions about what she knows about my life before I got married and about my marriage.
My sister is one of my witnesses. She was told in the letter that she has to answer the questions and then have a priest sign the form. She also has to be willing to answer questions over the telephone if the Tribunal has any questions.

My sister seemed scared to answer questions over the telephone but I told her not to be afraid because the Tribunal advocate is a very nice person. He is.

I think applying for an annulment is a long process. My ex-spouse has gotten ill and I feel very sorry for him because his mental and physical health is going downhill according to my adult son who keeps an eye on him. He couldn’t even attend the wedding of our grand-daughter this past week-end. I felt bad that he couldn’t attend due to his permanent illness.

I would like for some of you to pray for me to get my annulment because my energy is going downhill. I am getting tired of all the paperwork and phone calls.
I just want my ex-spouse to return to the church and receive the presense of Christ in the Eucharist. I also want to be free from a marriage that was never blessed by God. Lucy
 
I disagree on waiting for the annulment. I recommend doing it as soon as you can while everything is fresh. What goes on with the Tribunal process has not one thing to do with what goes on in court. I was still having my ex take me to court over custody issues when I filed. The two things really have nothing to do with each other. It’s the kind of thing that if you put off, you might build up a lot of anxiety about it and not end up doing it until you are in a situation where you feel a lot of time pressure.
dulcissima and Lucia

I am in a very difficult situation. My ex wife is not a very well person. She does get very nasty and she is not being very nice at the moment. She has even made accusations about me and I have even had the police visitig me and I’ve definately not done anything wrong. The more I do the nastier she gets and believe me its easier to just go easy and not cause too much of a fuss its not worth fighting with her.
so I’ve just come to the conclusion its best to just let the annulment go for now and wait for the storm to blow over a bit. I 'm leaving out alot of personal details here wich I think are probably best left alone so yeah the annulment is going to have to wait. Unfortunately.

None of this has anything to do with annulments in LA so we’re off track a bit.
 
Hi JRPO from Australia, It doesn’t matter what city or country you are from because we all have to follow the same Tribunal rules that comes from our Pope in the Vatican.

I totally understand about your special situation with your ex-spouse. I know you are trying to keep the peace with your ex-spouse so you can move on in your life.

You don’t really need to give us all of the details because there are people like me who understands what it is like to live with a mentally ill person and have to deal with them when the marriage is over. I had to keep my mouth shut many times with my ex-spouse to keep the peace for the sake of my two sons.

I support you 100% in your situation. I have been through the painful experience of a divorce eventhough it was my idea.

My advise is for you to pray to God to send your ex-spouse love because you can’t at this time. As time passes… you will notice that your feelings for your ex-spouse will become nutralized and you will be in a better peaceful place in your mind and heart.
It works for me. PEACE, Lucia
 
dulcissima and Lucia

I am in a very difficult situation. My ex wife is not a very well person. She does get very nasty and she is not being very nice at the moment. She has even made accusations about me and I have even had the police visitig me and I’ve definately not done anything wrong. The more I do the nastier she gets and believe me its easier to just go easy and not cause too much of a fuss its not worth fighting with her.
so I’ve just come to the conclusion its best to just let the annulment go for now and wait for the storm to blow over a bit. I 'm leaving out alot of personal details here wich I think are probably best left alone so yeah the annulment is going to have to wait. Unfortunately.

None of this has anything to do with annulments in LA so we’re off track a bit.
JRPO,

I remain in a very difficult situation with an abusive ex, and I do now have my declaration of nullity. People who do lots of bullying and threatening want you to walk on eggshells and cater to their ever changing whim. Part of what you need to be doing right now is deciding what is best for you and for your children, and then act on that regardless of what the loose canon that is your ex is likely to do. It’s definitely a case of do right and fear nothing. What I have found is that most threats are empty, and he will still go off if he is going to go off, regardless of how accommodating, polite, and thoughtful I try to be. What I try to do now is just not get sucked into the emotional whirlpool. I don’t respond to 90% of what he throws at me, and just deal only in the unemotional aspect of what actually needs to be done or communicated.

You are divorced now, and it takes a while to stop catering to your ex and worrying about their mood. It is well worth putting a stop to though. You need to make a new life for yourself and your children that doesn’t revolve around her volatility. Yes, there will always be legal issues and because she is your children’s mother you will always have to deal with her, just don’t allow yourself to get sucked in, and do move forward with the filing for a declaration of nullity. You can take your time in filling it out, but it is best to get started without delay.
 
Just wanted to add…that was just advice. Do what you want and what you feel is best. Just don’t walk on eggshells! There is a CAF poster who submitted a petition for declaration of nullity against an ex who accused him of all sorts of things, who had to deal with CPS etc. She fought him on the nullity issue too. It does eventually come to the point that they can’t get at you anymore. All of their threats and bullying tactics stop working after a while. I just want to encourage you that that day will come.
 
Hi JNo, I want to thank you for praying for me because it is so hard to hang in there. I am so tired of the process.

I called my witness sister today and she said she has to return the questionaire back to the Tribunal by Nov, 30th, 09.

My other sister who is also a witness will not return from her job in Texas until sometime in Dec.09. She has a mean streak in her and will be taking her time in returning the questionaire. She said she doesn’t want to bother with it until she gets home eventhough she has plenty of time to fill out the questionaire in Texas.
She canceled her cell phone so I can’t call her to plead my case. Oh well… I guess I just
have to wait… Lucy
 
LaLucia,

My boyfriend’s brother got the questionnaire but hasn’t had time to fill it out “because of the World Series”. He’ll get to it after it’s over.

?!?!?!? Can you believe that? So I hear you on the family members who aren’t all that cooperative. But hang in there!
 
Jen, I got my sister’s cell number from my Mom and I called her twice but she hasn’t returned my call. I know she is going to drag her feet and not do it until after the Christmas Holidays. She is so mean and self-centered. I should never have put her down as a witness,
All I can think about now is to just stay cool about it and relax and leave it in God’s hands.
I have no control over what my sisters and the Tribunal decide to do about my case.

If my sister doesn’t call me soon I may have to call the Tribunal and say that my mean sister doesn’t want to cooperate because she really doesn’t care about my case.
She only works on week-ends so she is free all week. She just spends her time shopping.
I shouldn’t have asked her to be a witness. Oh…well… Lucy
 
Hi Jen, I called the Tribunal today because I needed to tell them that my two witnesses would not be able to turn in their witness papers until sometime in Dec. since they are out of town working in Texas.
The Office lady who answered the phone took my message and said she would give it to
Father Chaffman when he returns from some trip out of our country. I didn’t ask when he was returning since I still need time to have my witnesses turn in their papers.

I guess the Tribunal priests must have other duties too and also have a personal life where they plan to spend their Holidays.

Since I am not in a hurry and my witnesses will be turning in their witness papers late…
it’s okay with me.

Father Chaffman is one of my tribunal court judges. I guess people who have him as a judge have to wait until whatever date he returns from his trip.

I have already told my adult son that if the Tribunal doesn’t grant the Anullment I plan to just let it go which means I don’t plan to appeal. His dad my ex-spouse didn’t want to help out by giving his testimony. So I don’t care anymore. I don’t plan to get married again anyway. LaLucia
 
I was told 12 to 15 months by someone on the Tribunal. He recommended that if your case could be heard by a Tribunal in a smaller diocese, that would probably be quicker because the Archdiocese of Los Angeles has its hands full not only with all of the nullity petitions but also with the sexual abuse scandal.
The annulment is for a non-Catholic living in LA, was married in LA, with the Catholic Respondent also living in LA, so I don’t think there are any other options… Any thoughts on how much longer or how to get the process moving faster?
Since your boyfriend is not Catholic and therefore not “tied” to the Roman Rite Church, have you considered having him apply through an Eastern Rite Catholic Church? There must be a bunch of them in Southern California, and they might have a much smaller caseload. Just a thought.
 
Since your boyfriend is not Catholic and therefore not “tied” to the Roman Rite Church, have you considered having him apply through an Eastern Rite Catholic Church? There must be a bunch of them in Southern California, and they might have a much smaller caseload. Just a thought.
Rick, that’s an interesting proposition…

Lucy, thanks for your update. I’m sorry the ex won’t cooperate, since you’re really doing this for him, not you.

I’m so frustrated with the Case Coordinator (as opposed to a priest, she is handling). :banghead:
My boyfriend has jumped through all the hoops. His brother turned in his witness questionnaire, so there’s no waiting on witnesses anymore. He had the psych evaluation. Then he tried to call her and email on a number of occasions and no response. On 11/11, he finally got ahold of her. She admitted she was behind and then suggested they schedule a meeting to go over things about . He thought she meant in person, but she said no, on the phone. They scheduled a time on Friday, 11/20 at 5pm. The time came and went and no call. He called her (both cell and office) but got a message on her office phone saying she had a cold and would get back to the caller soon. She never called to cancel or reschedule. He has left her 2-3 messages since, and still no call.

In any other job, performance like this would get you fired. :dts: But I feel like there is no recourse to take. I can’t intervene on his behalf. There is no parish priest to go to out in LA since he isn’t Catholic and I’m in KC. The Case Coordinator is handling it. I hesitate to have him try to get ahold of someone else, because I don’t want his case getting sabotaged, or conveniently put on the back burner. But what recourse do we have? We aren’t demanding anything unreasonable…just a status as to where the case is at…and we can’t get it.

Any suggestions? This is so frustrating since there is so little that I can do as the “outsider” on this case. It’s beginning to depress me.😦
 
Hi, I’m new to this forum and website. I came searching for an answer to the same question you have–how long does an annulment take in the Los Angeles Archdiocese. I have read all the posts on this topic, and will share with you all the information I have received during my annulment process so far. I had to look back on my calendar, but found that the date that I turned in my questionaire and paperwork with my list of witnesses was on December 19, 2008. I turned these in to my parish priest, actually monsignor, so I’m not sure when he acually sent them to the tribunal office. I think since it was so close to Christmas, he may have waited until after the holiday to submit them. I received a letter from the tribunal dated January 13, 2009 stating my petition has received an initial review and has been accepted for further investigation. It also lists my judge, defender of the bond and advocate. It says the next stage in the process involves the court’s attempt to determine the most appropriate canonical grounds in this case and the session date for this is set for Feb. 10, 2009. It says they will also attempt to contact my former spose seeking some initial testimony. Although I didn’t know what it meant until I read in this forum, my case number is listed as 0029. The next letter I received is dated Feb 9, 2009 from my advocate which just outlines the annulment process and says my petition will soon be assigned to a judicial team for its initial review, so I’m not quite sure if this is the meeting mentioned in the previous letter. It states it may be a number of months before I hear from the judge assigned to my petition, and if I haven’t heard anything by six months to call the office. For some reason my advocate sent me the exact same letter on March 23, 2009. I had my mother listed as a witness, and I live with her. She got a witness questionaire in the mail, but I don’t remember the date. She was quite upset because it asked for alot of details, and since she had a stroke several years ago, alot of her memory is gone. I told her to just write that she didn’t feel she could answer the questions and give it to monsignor and tell him the same. The judge in my case ended up calling her to answer questions instead. I had three of my sisters also listed as witnesses. The judge in my case called me, but I was in the shower and my mother talked to him again. It was on a Saturday, but again I don’t remember the date. My mother said he wanted me to call him back, and I did but he didn’t answer and never called me back. I called the Monday after and left a message, but he never called back. The next time I was contacted was again a message left on my cell phone dated May 4, 2009, from a Sister Rosa. She said she wanted to ask me questions about my respondent. I called her back but she wasn’t in and I left a message. She also never called me back again, even though I called her and left another message. On July 14, 2009 I received a letter stating the instruction phase of the marriage nullity proceeding has been concluded and I had the right to inspect certain Acts in the case and must do so before July 28, 2009. I wasn’t sure what this meant, so I called the number, again Sister Rosa, and I can’t remember if she answered or eventually called back. She said I had the right to review all the evidence given by witnesses. I asked when I could do this, and it seems she sounded a little upset that I wanted to. She said I couldn’t do anything about what was written, unless it was something major. I wanted to see if my ex husband said anything (I didn’t know if he replied to the questionaire), so I made an appointment, and went to the Tribunal office. Sister Rosa still seemed a little perturbed that I wanted to review everything. She took me to her office, and I had to swear an oath that I would never reveal what I read in the witness statements. Her office is just full of folders and paperwork. She sat at her desk working the whole time. She again told me I couldn’t do anything about the testimony given, but if there was something horrilby wrong and not true to just note it in the margin. I didn’t think my ex husband would reply, but he actually did. Although he’s not Catholic, he wasn’t happy I wanted to get an annulment. I don’t want to go into details, but he can be a real jerk. I feel kind of guilty now, it’s almost like reading someone’s diary I guess. They also had transcipts of the phone conversations with witnesses. I don’t know what role Sister Rosa plays in my case, but she was saying that my respondent didn’t reply, but I told her he did, his form was in with the other witness statements. So that is the last I have heard. It’s almost been a year since I turned in my paperwork, so it got me wondering, which is why I started looking for the answer of how long my annulment might take. When I gave my paperwork to monsignor, he told me that the Los Angeles diocese is actually not that bad about processing the annulments. The delay comes when they have to give the case to the appeals diocese. He said the diocese in Orange County hears all appeals, and they are the ones who are very backlogged and cause the case to be dragged out. He also told me it’s best just to let the Tribunal do their work, that they have alot of cases and calling them just takes away from their time they have to process these cases. He said if I really need to know for some reason, to ask him, and he would try to find out. I decided early on it will happen when it happens. God’s will, not mine, so I haven’t tried to find out anything. I have a boyfriend, and he wants to get married, but we’re just waiting until we find out. God bless all of you. I hope this helps answer some questions, and I’ll keep you posted when anything else happens.
 
Hi Chris, you need to call the judge in charge of your annulment. His secretary will take your message if he is not in his office to answer the phone. I deal directly with his office.

Your case number 0029 or I think it was 0023, tells you how many people are in front of you waiting to have their annulments completed.
It seems to be taking too long to get your annulment.

I think I filed in Feb.2009, and it is now Dec. 4, 2009. My number on the list is very high.
It is approx. 300 persons ahead of me.

I only have one more witness to fill out the form and then I just wait to see what is next.

I expect the Tribunal workers to be busy with all of the Christmas Parties and Cheer…
and traveling to visit their loved ones since my Judge is out of the country.lol. I am not in a hurry so I can laugh about how they are not business savey workers. I don’t think they have entered into the computer age yet since they have their files in folders. That is old fashion.

They also seem to mistake me for somebody else when I call them with my case number.
They even assigned me to a different parish priest who was not my priest.

I have gotten into the habit of writing my case number and case name on every paper I submit. I guess they get their files mixed up too because they keep making mistakes.

My Mom didn’t want to be a witness eventhough it is her fault that I got married. She pushed me into getting married as a teenager and she also chose the teenage boy to marry me. After I divorced my husband I met a wonderful Catholic man who I truly love to this day.
But he said he had to let me go because of being Catholic and he couldn’t marry me. He ended up marrying someone else. I told my Mom presently that I never loved my ex-spouse and you have to have love to be happily married. That is what my priest said to me.

I was able to talk my Mom into signing a letter stating that it was her fault that I got married too young. I had the letter Notorized sp. “WHEW”. I convinced her that it was important to my ex-spouse so he can get married by the Catholic church. My ex-spouse is not in a hurry but it would be nice to have it over and done.

My advise to new people filing for an Annulment is to be prepared to WAIT and forget about making wedding plans until you get your Annulment in Los Angeles.

Make sure to always write your name, case number and page number on every paper you send them.

I think it really helps to also include a CHURCH NEWSLETTER with the name of your church and the list of priests. It seems that the Tribunal is clueless if they have never heard of your church. We have so many Catholic Churches in L.A. I had to send them one because the Advocate assigned to me had never heard of my church.lol. I talked to him on the telephone. Because he is a nice old man by the sound of his voice I was very kind to him and spoke slowly with him. I guess I am my own Advocate.lol.

Don’t let your Priest’s Office workers mail the annulment papers to the Tribunal. Mail it yourself using Priority mail, certified with a tracking number. That way you know it didn’t get lost in the mail. I did that for all my paper work sent to the Tribunal. I asked our Church office to let me have a blank envelope with their return address on it. I thought it would make a difference but I don’t know for sure.

I don’t know if this helps or not… but I also inclued photos of myself, my two adult sons,
my Mom with her priest and her grand-daughter Alter girl. It puts a face to whom they are reading about in their paper work. I am just guessing that it helps.

My advise is to not bother filing unless you have a canon lawyer. Your lawyer can tell you if you really have a case.

If I don’t get my annulment… I will reqret having filed for the annulment and losing $650. dollars that I paid using my retirement money.

If I was given a second chance with what I now know I wouldn’t have bothered since I don’t plan to get married again.

I will keep you all informed when I hear something new. Maybe I will get a sudden letter or phone call saying my annulment was granted. It would be a great Christmas gift for me.
 
Hi, LaLucia and everyone else. LaLucia, you are well aware of my issues, which I posted a response to tonight, but I wanted to let you know I’ve read your postings and will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. My spouse was quashed in less than eleven months, and we still felt it was too long, though we don’t live in as big a state or city. I do want to say to the others who’ve posted herein that if you haven’t filed at least start looking over the paperwork and writing your thoughts so when you’re ready you’ll be able to piece it together. It took my husband nearly a year to write his application. It takes time for things to surface, and I’m sure we didn’t cover everything; our problem is he waited nearly thirty years to get things started, and the memory ain’t what it used to be. Unfortunately, this hurt him. (For anyone interested you can read my posts of what’s been happening. I’ll just stick to the issues herein.) I hurt myself by trying to make plans for a convalidation that will not take place, at least not yet; we’re gonna fight this thing again. And as far as money, I’d give every possession I have to get this done, so please don’t complain. Several people told me on my post to get a canon lawyer. Yes, I agree. The Tribunal has been very secretive, which is ridiculous. I don’t understand why they ask non-practicing Catholics to “come home” when they offer limited assistance. We were told that after the next application is filed that my spouse can request assistance. That’s just backwards. I don’t understand why there was no one at the Tribunal ‘working for him’. No representation - just Judge and defender of bond (prosecutor, if you ask me). I’m not a very happy camper right now, can you tell??!. When he is well enough, and hopefully still wants to apply again, we will find a Canon lawyer to work with. Don’t balk a psych eval; my spouse was not afforded any though there was sufficient information to support having said. So LaLucia, thank you - I’m toughening up thanks to your support, and you’ll need to hang in there, too. You are a gracious person to do this for your x. God bless.
 
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