I sought a determination of the validity of my marriage not because I was seeking to remarry, but so that I would know my marital status. Had the Tribunal found my marriage valid, I would live accordingly, despite the civil divorce. If, on the other hand, it found my marriage invalid, I would know I could be open to other relationships.
The “unintended consequence” of the process, however, is that I found so much solace and healing. By the time it was over – it took three years – it didn’t really matter so much what the determination was. I understood things about myself that I never saw before. I had the potential to forgive great hurts that I never could have earlier. The process set me free – not the determination. And I will be forever grateful.