Annulment Question

[IrishAm]

The Tribunal took 36 months – three years – in coming to a decision on my marriage. The blessing, however, was that when it began, I was angry and hurt and confident they would quickly find the marriage invalid. By the time the decision came that it was invalid, I had made peace within myself and was fully prepared for their decision to be that my marriage had indeed been a valid one in the eyes of the Church and I would live the remainder of my life as if I were a married woman without a husband present. A healing had taken place that would not have occurred had the Tribunal moved more quickly.

(As to your question . . . apart from God determining the pace of life, the reason for most Tribunal delays are either **logistical **-- missing paperwork, waiting for witnesses, allowing time for both non-petitioning spouse to respond, etc – or **practical **as in workload for the handful of people making it all happen getting out of control.)

 

[LaLucia]

I applied for an annulment of my marriage on Jan. 2009. I live in Los Angeles, Calif. which most likely has thousands of people applying for marriage annulity because our Tribunal has lectures on how to get your marriage annulled.
There are many Catholics that do qualifiy to get a annulity.

It was my adult son who is in his 40’s who attended one of those workshops on annulity and advised me to get my marriage annulled so his dad could get married by the church
to his present wife.

I am in my 60’s and my friends have laughed at me for applying for the annulity. They think I am being silly in doing that. Some of those friends are not Catholics so they don’t really understand that I have a Catholic soul and truly believe in my religion.

I don’t plan to re-marry since I am happy being singles for all these years. But it will make me very happy to get the annulment so my ex-spouse can return to the church if he wants to. I want to open that door for him. There are many valid reasons why we shouldn’t have gotten married.

 

[rainyday]

A search of this forum with the word “Annulment” will bring you to many other threads.

One of the things I remind people is to use the correct terms. The term “getting an annulment” is not accurate, your marriage is under review by the Tribunal to determine if it was valid.

Until that investigation is complete, the marriage is considered to be valid.

If the Tribunal finds your marriage was not valid, they will issue a Decree of Nullity. At that time, you can consider yourself free to date and get engaged and marry again.

Until that decision comes back, it is best to put the romance on HOLD. You should act as if you are a married person, and married people do not date other people.

Pray, stay close to Jesus and he will give you the strength to do what is right.

EXCELLENT ANSWER!
Seatruck:

I’m disappointed with the priests advice as well. A Catholic should not even be dating without a decree of nullity in hand.

No one should date until they’ve had their marriage annulled!!!

Patience … and read Psalm 37: 3-7

Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him

 

[mtc1079]

Boudjamr where are you? I’ve read that some dioceses take longer than others. My boyfriend applied for an annulment 13 months ago and we’re still waiting. We’re waiting to get the annulment to get engaged. My case is in the diocese of camden, NJ. I have heard of people whose annulment took 1 year and the diocese told us that it takes 18 months - 2 years. The last time we wrote asking for a status update was back in October and they told us that it was currently in line to be typed and sent for review. We’re going to wait one more month before we ask for another update.

The parrish priest and the canon lawyer my boyfriend met with both told him he has a good case of getting annulled. However my boyfriend’s ex is very difficult and we’re afraid she might appeal it if the decision is affirmative just so she can delay any wedding plans. Does anyone know how long the appeal process is in a situation like that where the annulment is granted and the other party contests it??

 

[boudjamr]

I’m in Lafayette, LA.

I just found out that the “defender of the bond” lost his associate pastor. So without help he assumes the full responsibility of the parish and will not be able to devote his full attention to cases until after Easter.

We are still trying to be optimistic that it will be finished in time to keep the wedding date.

I know some on this forum have strong feelings about my engagement, but I have the blessing of two priests. One being a monsigneur so I have to feel that they both know better than I.

 

[mtc1079]

Sorry to hear it may take longer now due to the lack of staff. They said something similar to my boyfriend.

Does anyone know of new constrictions to the annulment process? They told us that due to new constrictions the process may take longer than 2 yrs. Also, is there anyone out there that has gone though this experience (especially in the camden diocese) and would like to share/advice?

Thank you and God bless!

 

[LaLucia]

I live in the Los Angeles county area of Calif. I don’t think there are any restrictions in our area due to the fact that Pope Benedict has created some new canon laws that includes psychological reasons and other important reasons. It usually takes 6 months…but if there are a lot of people applying… it may take more time presently.
I applied in Jan.09, for my annulment and it may take longer than 6 months just because I live in a city that is encouraging people to apply for annulments. Our Archdocese of L.A. wants people to be in God’s grace and return to our church.

I am guessing the lack of people working on the processing of the annulment paperwork may be a reason for the delays in some areas.

It is so easy just to call Your Tribunal office and ask why the long delay. That is what I would do if I was you.

It takes PATIENCE…to get an annulment. We all have to wait for whatever time it takes.
But it is important to find out if they haven’t lost your papers.

 

[Seatuck]

I live in the Los Angeles county area of Calif. I don’t think there are any restrictions in our area due to the fact that Pope Benedict has created some new canon laws that includes psychological reasons and other important reasons. It usually takes 6 months…but if there are a lot of people applying… it may take more time presently.
I applied in Jan.09, for my annulment and it may take longer than 6 months just because I live in a city that is encouraging people to apply for annulments. Our Archdocese of L.A. wants people to be in God’s grace and return to our church.

I am guessing the lack of people working on the processing of the annulment paperwork may be a reason for the delays in some areas.

It is so easy just to call Your Tribunal office and ask why the long delay. That is what I would do if I was you.

It takes PATIENCE…to get an annulment. We all have to wait for whatever time it takes.
But it is important to find out if they haven’t lost your papers.

I believe that the tribunals have been told to be stricter with the psychological reasons as they have been overly lenient according to some. There are no new Canon Laws since 1983. This was direction give from the Pope to the tribunals.

web.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/0900437.htm

 

[mtc1079]

My boyfriend applied for his annulment in Feb 08 so it’s been over a year. Every 3 months we inquire about status and the last two times they told us the same thing - that the application is in line to be typed and reviewed. The last time we checked was six months ago and we just sent a fax yesterday asking the status, so hopefully they will tell us something new and dear God I hope they didn’t lose the papers! An acquaintance got his annulment in about a year so I was hoping for that but now it may take 2 yrs or more. I’m in the diocese of Camden, NJ. I guess i’m looking for answeres everywhere I can.

Good luck in getting your annulment!

 

[LaLucia]

Seatuck, thank you for the article. I learned something new.

I have noticed that some famous people have gotten several Catholic annulments throught their life-times. The actress Jane Wyman was one of them. She didn’t have any luck with the men she married so she decided to stay single for the rest of her life. She joined some Catholic order in her senior years…

Personally I feel I do have a great annulment case with documentation too. I don’t plan to re-marry again so I really don’t care if I get the annulment.

I applied for the annulment just so my ex-spouse can marry his wife in the Catholic church. I am a good writer in stating my case for an annulment. My ex-spouse can’t write or think coherently. I feel sorry for him. I do love him as a person but I never really wanted to be married to anybody. My parents pushed me into getting married as a teenager.
My dad would have found me and beaten me up if I had left home without getting married.
I lived in fear of his violence so I got married to get away from my alcoholic parents.
I was taking illegal drugs at the time of my marriage so I could survive my psychological mental problems of severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks and clustophobia.
The speed drugs I took helped me to survive my life for many years.
Presently… I am lucky to be under a doctor and therapist care who help me to survive my life. My Catholic religion has also helped me a lot too. It is really interesting but confession really helps me a lot to stay in God’s grace. It feels really good to be in God’s grace. PEACE, Lucy

 

[Seatuck]

Seatuck, thank you for the article. I learned something new.

I have noticed that some famous people have gotten several Catholic annulments throught their life-times. The actress Jane Wyman was one of them. She didn’t have any luck with the men she married so she decided to stay single for the rest of her life. She joined some Catholic order in her senior years…

Personally I feel I do have a great annulment case with documentation too. I don’t plan to re-marry again so I really don’t care if I get the annulment.

I applied for the annulment just so my ex-spouse can marry his wife in the Catholic church. I am a good writer in stating my case for an annulment. My ex-spouse can’t write or think coherently. I feel sorry for him. I do love him as a person but I never really wanted to be married to anybody. My parents pushed me into getting married as a teenager.
My dad would have found me and beaten me up if I had left home without getting married.
I lived in fear of his violence so I got married to get away from my alcoholic parents.
I was taking illegal drugs at the time of my marriage so I could survive my psychological mental problems of severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks and clustophobia.
The speed drugs I took helped me to survive my life for many years.
Presently… I am lucky to be under a doctor and therapist care who help me to survive my life. My Catholic religion has also helped me a lot too. It is really interesting but confession really helps me a lot to stay in God’s grace. It feels really good to be in God’s grace. PEACE, Lucy

Peace Be With You , Lucy.

I hope you find the healing that many speak of after they go through the process.

 

[LaLucia]

Seatuck, thank you for your kind reply. I do have a feeling I will feel a relief after my annulment. I will also be happy to be free from my ex-spouse so he can move on in his life. He also had a terrible childhood worse than mine. He was severely mentally damaged by his alcoholic dad. He became an alcoholic in his later years but has been lucky to have married a wonderful woman. It will be good for them to get married in the Catholic Church. Their Catholic adult children will be happy for them.

I never knew that I qualified for an annulment until my adult son encouraged me to apply for it. He had attented a lecture on annulments as part of his training as a Catachism teacher. It took me a year to think about it. Some people laughed at me because I am an older senior now…but it is never too late to fix things that went wrong in my life. Lucy

 

[boudjamr]

Just, a long overdue update on my original post… My annulment was granted on July 1st 2009… We were married in August of 2009, and ready to celebrate our 1st anniversary next month.

I want to thank those of you who sent helpful responses, without judgment…

I want to say a few things to anyone who may be in the same predicament. Evidently, the annulment process, and what should and should not be allowed is not as clear as some would want you to think. The priest who allowed us to set a date for our marriage was actually the “Vicar General” for our region, part of the executive branch of the diocese. After, inquiring about the hold up, the process was moved from the “defender of the bond” to the tribunal. It was sent to another priest, who reviews the decision. Then it was sent to the archdiocese for ratification.

After spending six months on the desk of the defender, it spent almost two months on the desk of a tribunal member who went on vacation for a month, in total this member had my paper work for about 7 weeks. The last step, ratification, took less than a week.

I suggest if you are not hearing anything, on your annulment, that you contact the tribunal and learn what stage it is in. I contacted the defender of the bond after getting no answers from the tribunal. It took less than a week after contact to advance the process. “The squeaky wheel gets the oil.”

The bottom line - the process can be tedious and filled with misinformation, but stay on top of it.

 

[LaLucia]

Hi Everybody, I have come to the conclusion that if you have applied to the Los Angeles Archdiocese Tribunal Office… it will most likely take approx. 2 years to get a final answer
for your nullity of marriage. The main reason being that it is the largest Archdiocese in California. They have many annulment cases and other duties too.

Plus, there are some glitches. For example; my annulment papers were mailed to the wrong priest and parish. The priest chose to wait a few weeks before contacting me and I showed up to see him. I took the papers from him and ran to my church to have my priest sign the new papers that had to be signed by my priest.

The first judge decided to go on vacation to Europe and that delayed my case.
As my case moved from several offices it would take approx. from one to two months for it to progress. The final priest who had my case wasn’t able to move my case on until a month had passed. So now… it most likely will take another few months for my case to move on because the Court of Appeal has my case. I was told not to call them.

Some people are lucky to be in a smaller Archdiocese/Tribunal locations. You all are most likely to get your annulments approved or denied much faster. But you also have to stay on top of your case and make sure it progresses with the help of your Advocate.
Sometimes your case can just sit in someone’s office for weeks.
Eventhough they say not to call them I still do. LaLucia

 

[lizaanne]

Just, a long overdue update on my original post… My annulment was granted on July 1st 2009… We were married in August of 2009, and ready to celebrate our 1st anniversary next month.

Congratulations!!! May God bless your sacramental union. :clapping:

~Liza