Annulment Question -

[Bob1963]

I’m a little bit at my wit’s end right now trying to get some information. I’m hoping someone can help me. I’ve been officially divorced since March 2017. The divorce was initiated in early 2014. Part of this issue stems from the lack of communication between my ex-wife and I. Upon the finalization of the divorce, I contacted her to see about applying for an annulment, although at the time I did not really know anything about the process. In late May, she finally responded. She stated that she would make an appointment to meet with the Church when she was ready and it wouldn’t involve me. She wanted to do it herself.

I finally learned last week that it was submitted to a Tribunal Aide. My ex-wife does not like to communicate with me, even when the kids are concerned. It’s been a long and heart-wrenching story that only God has been able to heal me from. Since she usually doesn’t answer my texts (I don’t dare call her!), I did try to find out over the various months whether the annulment had been submitted. I talked to several people in Diocese of Stockton that looked for information for me. Nothing was found, repeatedly. I even was blessed to speak to a priest that part of the Tribunal. I didn’t want to become a pest, but this annulment process involved me to. When I found last week that the paperwork was submitted, I was very happy. I would have filled the paperwork out myself back in March if she hadn’t told me she wanted to do it.

Yesterday, a thought came to me. And this is where things got strange. My ex had met and submitted the paperwork to a Tribunal Aide. I thought, I’d get that person’s name and communicate through them if I had any questions. I thought they would be a good contact person. I texted my ex yesterday for that person’s name. The response I got shocked me. She said she contacted the aide after receiving my text and was told that the aide would not like her name given out, that she only represented my ex. What is even stranger is, I texted her late on Friday afternoon, she said she contacted the aide on Saturday morning and got the response around 1130 am on that day. How was she able to contact this person on a Saturday? Maybe a personal cell phone number or something? Just is odd.

I’m confused a bit by all of this. Would a Tribunal Aide really refuse to contact me? I thought I was part of this process. Between the weekend contact with the aide and this, I’m not sure what to think. Can anyone shed any light on this? To be brutally honest, it wouldn’t surprise me if my ex never submitted anything and just wants to see me spin my wheels in frustration with no hope of ever marrying in the Church again. Maybe I should trust God and not worry about it and stop asking questions, but at the same time I feel like I should know the truth about what’s going on. After considerable praying, I decided to write this in an effort to get some support. TIf anyone can help, I would be so appreciative

Bob

 

[1ke]

Bob, Either party can petition for a decree of nullity. You need not wait for her to do something. You certainly need not let HER take the lead, especially if she is telling you it wouldn’t involve you-- that is totally incorrect.

If she initiates the petition, she is the petitioner and you are the respondent. Yes, you should be contacted by the Tribunal and yes you would participate by completing paperwork if you are the respondent. The fact that you have not been contacted and not been given an opportunity to participate is suspicious. Claiming people at the diocese don’t want to talk to you, again SUSPICIOUS.

If you petition, you are the petitioner and she is the respondent. She would have an opportunity to participate but if she chooses not to, you can still move forward.

YOU have the ability to initiate a petition. I suggest you get with your own pastor and do just that. Stop worrying about what she is doing or not doing, or trying to get information out of her. Take the bull by the horns and file your own petition.