I got married when I was 23 yrs old back in 2010. After living apart for 95% of my marriage (due to educational obligations), I made the determination to file for divorce as I did not see a future with my now ex-husband.
He is now seeking an annulment through the Church in order to most likely marry his new girlfriend (good for him!) and I have run into a few questions I was hoping I could get some help with. For some background, I was never baptized into any faith and I’m unsure as to if he was baptized as a child and our marriage was a civil courthouse marriage.
- If he initiates the process of annulment, do I have to do anything other than wait for paperwork and respond appropriately?
- My ex was under the influence of marijuana when we were married. How does this effect the case? Do I have to prove this?
Thanks for the help!
Hi InquiringMinds,
My husband went through this process a couple of years back and although it was lengthy, it’s not meant to be similar to a “court of law” - most of the work is done through paperwork. To describe the process (as it worked for us - keep in mind it may be slightly different where you are) and answer your specific questions:
Initially, your ex-husband needs to file initial paperwork. You will want to make sure that he has a current address for you, because the tribunal will contact you via snail mail. The initial paperwork deals with questions regarding the wedding, any problems that came up while you were dating, when the problems began in the marriage, the nature and cause of the problems, whether he is dating with a view to marriage (he will have to give his fiancee’s details as she may be contacted, depending on the situation), your attitudes towards having children in the marriage, etc. He will have to submit a divorce certificate, a certified copy of the registration of marriage (because you were never married in the Church, they have no record of the wedding) and either baptismal certificates or affidavits of non-baptism for both of you. (You might want to make sure he can contact you - as DH and his ex were both baptized, neither needed an affidavit, but you will.) There is also a piece that his priest/pastoral assistant has to fill out.
After the initial documents are submitted, both he and you will receive a letter from the tribunal. He will be required to come and give testimony, usually to his local priest or to a member of the tribunal staff. You will be advised that he is seeking a declaration of nullity, and offered the opportunity to testify if you wish. You have the right to decide whether or not you wish to be involved, and advise the tribunal accordingly. (DH’s ex chose not to testify; this did not impede the process in any way.)
Your ex will have to name 3 witnesses who knew you at the time of your marriage, and they will also have to testify.
After everything is submitted, the tribunal staff takes over. A defender of the bond (effectively, a defense lawyer for the marriage) looks over the evidence to see if there is any reason why the marriage should be considered valid. The tribunal staff may also ask for additional information, such as police reports, marriage counselling records, medical reports, etc., depending on the circumstances of the marriage breakdown.
After all evidence has been received, a decree is issued from the judges that gives you time to review the evidence. Both you and your ex have the right to go to the tribunal and ask to see any and all evidence that has been presented. (This is true whether or not you decide to testify.) It is not a requirement for you to view the evidence, but it is your option if you wish.
If no new evidence is presented at this time, the process moves ahead to the final stage - making a decision. If the tribunal finds the marriage invalid (this is called an affirmative decision) it is automatically appealed. The decision of the second tribunal is final and binding - if an affirmative decision is reached, both of you are free to marry. If a negative decision is reached (i.e. the marriage was valid) or if you’re not happy with any decision the tribunal makes, you have the right to appeal the case yourself to the Roman Rota. Regardless of the decision made, you will get a final letter from the tribunal with the outcome of the case. The process normally takes about 1.5 - 2 years, but there is no “set deadline”.
There are numerous reasons that a marriage is not valid. Lack of valid consent (such as being forced to marry because you were pregnant or for another reason, or having a defect, such as a mental condition or being on substances that affects your ability to consent), intending not to be open to the possibility of children, permanent, untreatable inability to have intercourse, marrying someone too closely related to you, not understanding the nature of marriage, intending not to be married for life, etc. The book “Annulment: The Wedding that Was” may be helpful in answering other questions.
