Annulment required?

  • Thread starter Thread starter donnyblake
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

donnyblake

Guest
Hello…I recently met a woman online. She and I are Catholics. She is divorced though. She didn’t marry her ex-husband in a Catholic church because of his being previously married. He never applied for an annulment for his first marriage. Now that she’s divorced, she asserts she doesn’t need an annulment before remarrying someone else because The Church doesn’t recognize her first marriage, simply because it wasn’t in a Catholic Church. I’m leery of dating her because I don’t want to commit adultery. Does she indeed need an Annulment now, or can she date and remarry in a Catholic church without it? I need to know whether I can pursue a relationship with her. Thanks for any help.
 
She still needs to go through the annulment process first, however her 1st marriage is flat out invalid and she should have her annulment very quickly. However she does need to go through the process.

It seems like this is the annulment that she needs.

Lack of Form and Prior Bond

A Lack of Form case, generally speaking, deals with a Catholic party who married outside the Catholic Church without Church permission.

A Prior Bond case involves a situation in which a petitioner marries a person who has been validly married before and whose marriage has not been ended by the death of the spouse, a decree of invalidity or a privilege before the subsequent union was entered. It is also called a “ligamen.”
 
kage_ar said:
She needs to see her Priest to clarify the matter.
Click to expand...
I second that.

Don’t just assume she don’t need one, because I went through one over a year ago and the class I went to, everyone how has been married before needs to go through the process. There are just different forms of annulments.
 
thomasf said:
How fast can you get a lack of form annulment?
Click to expand...
My boyfriend just got his Lack of Form" processed in about 2 weeks time from start to finish. It is very quick if she has all her documents in order and if it is a true lack of form.
 
So, is it Adultery for me if I start a dating relationship with her? In The Church’s eyes, is she still married to her husband, even though they weren’t married in a Catholic church? Please advise me. I won’t pursue anything with her if it means I’m commiting adultery. Thanks.
 
donnyblake said:
So, is it Adultery for me if I start a dating relationship with her? In The Church’s eyes, is she still married to her husband, even though they weren’t married in a Catholic church? Please advise me. I won’t pursue anything with her if it means I’m commiting adultery. Thanks.
Click to expand...
She is not clear until the Tribunal clears her. To assume that she is a free woman may be in error.
Dating married women is indeed adultry. She is married till the Tribunal clears her.
 
I would not consider it adultery. However, for your own peace of mind it might be better to wait before entering a relationship with her.
There are a number of questions to ask. How long has it been since her breakup? Are there children involved? She may still have emotional issues that only she can deal with. This is also a reason for her to go through the annullment process, for her own personal healing of the past relationship.
 
If she is really interested, then this whole matter can be settled in possibly a month’s time.
Besides, if she wants to date, what is she waiting for in terms of sending in her paperwork to the Tribunal?
 
She’s not “waiting” to send in her paperwork and apply for the Annulment. She feels one isn’t necessary because she wasn’t married in a Catholic church. She insists to me that she can date and get on with her life because no Annulment is necessary, because The Church doesn’t recognize her first marriage anyway. Thanks for the help.
 
donnyblake said:
She’s not “waiting” to send in her paperwork and apply for the Annulment. She feels one isn’t necessary because she wasn’t married in a Catholic church. She insists to me that she can date and get on with her life because no Annulment is necessary, because The Church doesn’t recognize her first marriage anyway. Thanks for the help.
Click to expand...
That, however is NOT the position of the church. It is imperative that she understand that, no matter what she currently believes on her own.

We all know that we can believe some pretty inaccurate things when we want to.

Now THAT alone screams “Big Red Flag”. She wants to be Catholic yet is not interested in following authority on a sacramental matter. And you want to date a woman who says she is Catholic, yet she has signs of rebellion.

Is that not bothersome to you?
 
donnyblake said:
Hello… Does she indeed need an Annulment now, or can she date and remarry in a Catholic church without it? I need to know whether I can pursue a relationship with her. Thanks for any help.
Click to expand...
not enough info, we can’t answer the question here, neither can you. she has to see her priest and start the paperwork process. Very likely the marriage was invalid but even so there is a process required although much less than a full-blown annulment investigation, and a relatively simple matter, but it has to be done before she is free to date or contemplate marriage.
 
jrabs said:
If she is married, then this is adultry no matter what you may think of the situation. Let’s call it what it is.
Only the Tribunal can make that decision.
Click to expand...
You are right. His previous marriage makes it adultery.
 
You have to assume a valid marriage until the tribunal rules it was not.

Her case honestly is a simple one.

If she married outside the church and did not have dispensation from the bishop, its invalid.

If I were you I would question why she married outside the church the first time around.

She can’t write the rules for the church because “That is how she feels”.

I went through the same thing, I was seeing someone before my annulment was finished, however we simply stayed as friends until it was done. No hand holding, kissing, “going out”, we stay on a friendship level only. After my annulment was done, we moved to the next step.

We will be married tis Saturday.

Have a look at our story…

jamieandsonya.com
 
donnyblake said:
So, is it Adultery for me if I start a dating relationship with her? In The Church’s eyes, is she still married to her husband, even though they weren’t married in a Catholic church? Please advise me. I won’t pursue anything with her if it means I’m commiting adultery. Thanks.
Click to expand...
I admire you for your prudence in this regard. Taking such care before venturing into a relationship will help you to start any relationship off on the right foot, whether or not it is with this woman.

In Christ…
 
"tread carefully,she might be trying to get another anullment later on. take your time.
 
I’m not even Catholic, and I have to get an annulment before joining the Catholic Church! I was just told this in a pre-RCIA Inquiry session. This was very upsetting to me, 😦 especially the thought that I am not really married to my present husband of nearly 20 years. And how am I supposed to find witnesses to my first husband’s violence 37 years later? Or HIM, for that matter. I feel crushed and discouraged. This move to Catholocism has not come easily-- rather like trying to run in quicksand. I am a former protestant minister and I’ve taken a lot of flack and wrestled with doctrinal issues. My own emotions have given me trouble, after having been raised in typical well-meaning Protestant ignorance. This is a huge deal for me, and annulment is one more hurdle. Either the enemy doesn’t want me at the C. church, or God is telling me to stay where I am. ARGH!!! Lord, please return to me the joy of my salvation!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top